3.5 yo and Poop - Help me!

[nutritionistmom]

I'm so frustrated. He's been potty learned for months, but he will not stop pooping in his underwear. If he's not in his underwear he goes to the toilet or potty, but if he's covered up he just goes! He starts Kindergarten on Wednesday.
We've tried to stay really laid back about it and just reinforce the idea that poop goes in the potty, and big boys that want to go to school (which he's super excited about) have to poop in the toilet, but he's not getting on board with us. He seems upset and almost ashamed when he goes in his pants. We're working really hard not to make a big deal about it and just get him cleaned up and move on from it, but I'm really starting to be concerned about the school aspect of this.
Any advice would be appreciated.

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

Totally OT, but how on earth is a 3.5 year old going to kindergarden?

Im having a similar problem with my 3 year old, but im taking a much more lax approach to it, as hes still only in pre school. Matter of fact, all his teachers (been doing this for 21 years!) say 3-3.5 is pretty normal for boys, sometimes longer. And they should know, right? Better then doctors I would immagine, since they actually have a hand in the learning aspect of the pottyiing.

[nutritionistmom]

We're in Ontario. They can go to junior kindergarten - it's essentially preschool - as long as they turn four before the end of December.

[RiverTam]

When DS#2 was 3.5, he had the same deal. He was sort of potty trained, but not completely. It was driving me nuts. When school started in the fall, I told the classroom assistant about the problem and she said "Don't worry about it. When school starts, he won't have a problem. He'll see his friends go to the potty and he'll do the same."

She was 100% correct. He just needed a little peer pressure and social modeling.

My potty training motto was "Potty trained before prom" because no normally developing child goes to prom in a diaper.

It will happen. Just hang in there.

[onyxravnos]

ds self potty trained at 2... but it took us a year and half before we were totally accident free. pop comes last because they fight it and don't tell you they need to poop until they ARE pooping.

it comes. give it another 6 months i bet you it will be much different!

[jillmamma]

DD still did that sometimes even at 4! As far as school goes, she would just not poop at school...do it at home either before or after (her preschool was from 9-2). Does junior kindergarten go all day or half days? I think part of that was not wanting to have an accident in front of her peers, but to her it was not such a big deal to have one at home. But, I think I would make sure that there is a couple of extra sets of clothes in his backpack for school just in case. I know how frustrating and gross that is though!

Wanted to add...now she turned 5 last month and is in regular kindergarten (all day), and I have not seen any poop accidents in a few months (though she did have 1 pee accident at school this year). So don't give up hope!

[nutritionistmom]

It's full days, every other day. He does have a change of clothes he keeps at school. He went to daycare 1 day a week while dh was in Africa and he never pooped there so I'm hoping he'll just regulate to the "off" school days.
Thanks for the input everyone, you're making me feel better about it.