Originally Posted by theboysmama
He sais he is going to leave the catholic church (I told him that wouldn't change anything bcs I would still be catholic and regardless if I was I would still have these beliefs). I have had strong messages from God and the blessed mother (I belieive) that we are to have more children and just trust in them.
Hugs! I can't even begin to imagine what a difficult situation this is for you!
|As far as letting him use condoms being his sin I feel that it is mine as well. I would be dtd with my husband knowing that I was fertile and knowing that he was actively preventing life, so isn't that my sin too?
for what it's worth I think you should see a priest and consult him *on your own.* To be honest, I can see how consulting a priest right now might actually make your husband more bitter. When you see the priest, however, confirm with him that if your DH uses bc without your approval if it would be a sin for you. I do not think it will be, but I am not a theologian/cannon lawyer. The fact is, that your feelings whether or not this is a sin for *you* may be scrupulosity, which is also a sin and only a discussion with your priest and spiritual authority can answer that.
It strikes me that your DH is really just feeling a lack of control and reacting with a rebelliousness towards authority. We live in a world where authority basically does not exist and where the individual's feelings are always right. In a situation like this he may be blaming God, the Great Authority, and in reaction rebelling against His Church. I do think that he is being somewhat immature and not being able to dtd anytime one wants is not a good enough reason to leave the Church and one's marriage.
That said, the fact remains that you two are still married and that you have children. He cannot deny you children, but he does have an equal say in the spacing of children. Nor does your body belong to you. On top of all this, you are still called to be submissive to him even if he is sinning. You most definitely cannot and should not act in a way that would cause *you* to sin, but you cannot control him if he chooses to sin just like you cannot deny him marital relations. If he chooses to use bc, and so long as he is not making you do any immoral acts (such as using female contraception), then the sin is his and his alone and as I said: you must confirm this with a Church authority. This is actually the case in many mixed marriages and is unfortunate, but the only way for you to change his mind is through prayer, not argument.
IMO, which I know isn't worth much, if you received strong indications that you will bear more children, then you should trust God that His promises will be fulfilled by acting within the structure of marriage that He has provided for you. There have been plenty of pagans who were converted by their wives and your DH is still Catholic, rebellious or not. And who knows, maybe if your DH sees that he is still in control of his family, then he will repent.
Oh and definitely prayers coming your way! I would think St. Monica would be a good saint to ask intercessions of, we usually think of her as the mother of wayward children, but she was also the wife of a very bad man who repented of his sins and converted because of her prayers.