Thanks for the support everyone, and I agree, I wouldn't be too surprised if I get a call, although I expected to have heard from them by now honestly. I think now that I have my wits about me I can easily explain everything. We really don't hit our kids, so no worries there. We have Home Health Care for our newborn, so nurses are in our home regularly and have never been concerned. I did get pics of the house clean and tidy that same day. I'm almost caught up on laundry and sorting out 'summer clothes' to get put away. BabyDD has a crib (where her clothes are usually kept, but I put them in the closet for the time being LOL), and the girls have a big enough bed (that now has sheets...ahem...) to share. We're extremely active in our homeschool community, and the girls take classes at the museums/zoo/gym/etc so there shouldn't be a concern about their contact with outside society. They have plenty of clothes, I cleaned out the fridge before we went out of town and usually do so about once a month. There always seems to be dishes to do, but nothing gross or sitting around forever, it's just the last thing I do when I'm cleaning because I always find dishes everywhere when I clean. The paprika is gone off the floor, and thankfully (this is the ONLY time I'll be glad of this BTW...) we have burnt orange carpet so it is now cleaned up and barely noticeable. DD cleaned her room the next day and it's much more sane in there now.
As to not being left alone with the kids, DH *had* to go. His dad paid him to build a computer for him, and he had to take it to him plus help with some barn work. He already was pushing it by driving overnight and coming back that same day, it's at least a 4 hour drive on a good day. So he did his best to leave us alone as little as possible.
Normally I have things pretty much under control. I totally and completely agree that this is a mega comedy of error-fest, and I shall remind said 2yo when she has her own kids of this adventure
It will definitely be a hilarious story to tell once the adrenalin wears off a little more