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How concerned should I be? Long-(Police/CPS) - Page 3

post #41 of 74
I'm so sorry you had to go through that, how stressful!

I honestly wouldn't try to stress too much about it. I mean, what could the cops report to CPS? There was a screaming toddler...what toddler doesn't scream occasionally? There were stains on the floor/groceries out/semi-messy house; what home with small children isn't in that state once in a while?

The cops were probably just checking to make sure everyone was alive and well, I would hope they'd understand the occasional chaos that comes with children.
post #42 of 74
Thread Starter 
Thanks for the support everyone, and I agree, I wouldn't be too surprised if I get a call, although I expected to have heard from them by now honestly. I think now that I have my wits about me I can easily explain everything. We really don't hit our kids, so no worries there. We have Home Health Care for our newborn, so nurses are in our home regularly and have never been concerned. I did get pics of the house clean and tidy that same day. I'm almost caught up on laundry and sorting out 'summer clothes' to get put away. BabyDD has a crib (where her clothes are usually kept, but I put them in the closet for the time being LOL), and the girls have a big enough bed (that now has sheets...ahem...) to share. We're extremely active in our homeschool community, and the girls take classes at the museums/zoo/gym/etc so there shouldn't be a concern about their contact with outside society. They have plenty of clothes, I cleaned out the fridge before we went out of town and usually do so about once a month. There always seems to be dishes to do, but nothing gross or sitting around forever, it's just the last thing I do when I'm cleaning because I always find dishes everywhere when I clean. The paprika is gone off the floor, and thankfully (this is the ONLY time I'll be glad of this BTW...) we have burnt orange carpet so it is now cleaned up and barely noticeable. DD cleaned her room the next day and it's much more sane in there now.

As to not being left alone with the kids, DH *had* to go. His dad paid him to build a computer for him, and he had to take it to him plus help with some barn work. He already was pushing it by driving overnight and coming back that same day, it's at least a 4 hour drive on a good day. So he did his best to leave us alone as little as possible.

Normally I have things pretty much under control. I totally and completely agree that this is a mega comedy of error-fest, and I shall remind said 2yo when she has her own kids of this adventure It will definitely be a hilarious story to tell once the adrenalin wears off a little more

Until then....breeeeeeeeeathe!!!!!!!!
post #43 of 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by Theoretica View Post
Thanks for the support everyone, and I agree, I wouldn't be too surprised if I get a call, although I expected to have heard from them by now honestly. I think now that I have my wits about me I can easily explain everything. We really don't hit our kids, so no worries there. We have Home Health Care for our newborn, so nurses are in our home regularly and have never been concerned. I did get pics of the house clean and tidy that same day. I'm almost caught up on laundry and sorting out 'summer clothes' to get put away. BabyDD has a crib (where her clothes are usually kept, but I put them in the closet for the time being LOL), and the girls have a big enough bed (that now has sheets...ahem...) to share. We're extremely active in our homeschool community, and the girls take classes at the museums/zoo/gym/etc so there shouldn't be a concern about their contact with outside society. They have plenty of clothes, I cleaned out the fridge before we went out of town and usually do so about once a month. There always seems to be dishes to do, but nothing gross or sitting around forever, it's just the last thing I do when I'm cleaning because I always find dishes everywhere when I clean. The paprika is gone off the floor, and thankfully (this is the ONLY time I'll be glad of this BTW...) we have burnt orange carpet so it is now cleaned up and barely noticeable. DD cleaned her room the next day and it's much more sane in there now.

As to not being left alone with the kids, DH *had* to go. His dad paid him to build a computer for him, and he had to take it to him plus help with some barn work. He already was pushing it by driving overnight and coming back that same day, it's at least a 4 hour drive on a good day. So he did his best to leave us alone as little as possible.

Normally I have things pretty much under control. I totally and completely agree that this is a mega comedy of error-fest, and I shall remind said 2yo when she has her own kids of this adventure It will definitely be a hilarious story to tell once the adrenalin wears off a little more

Until then....breeeeeeeeeathe!!!!!!!!
I so admire your attitude about the whole thing -- you're an awesome mama!!
post #44 of 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by Theoretica View Post
Thanks for the support everyone, and I agree, I wouldn't be too surprised if I get a call, although I expected to have heard from them by now honestly. I think now that I have my wits about me I can easily explain everything. We really don't hit our kids, so no worries there. We have Home Health Care for our newborn, so nurses are in our home regularly and have never been concerned. I did get pics of the house clean and tidy that same day. I'm almost caught up on laundry and sorting out 'summer clothes' to get put away. BabyDD has a crib (where her clothes are usually kept, but I put them in the closet for the time being LOL), and the girls have a big enough bed (that now has sheets...ahem...) to share. We're extremely active in our homeschool community, and the girls take classes at the museums/zoo/gym/etc so there shouldn't be a concern about their contact with outside society. They have plenty of clothes, I cleaned out the fridge before we went out of town and usually do so about once a month. There always seems to be dishes to do, but nothing gross or sitting around forever, it's just the last thing I do when I'm cleaning because I always find dishes everywhere when I clean. The paprika is gone off the floor, and thankfully (this is the ONLY time I'll be glad of this BTW...) we have burnt orange carpet so it is now cleaned up and barely noticeable. DD cleaned her room the next day and it's much more sane in there now.

As to not being left alone with the kids, DH *had* to go. His dad paid him to build a computer for him, and he had to take it to him plus help with some barn work. He already was pushing it by driving overnight and coming back that same day, it's at least a 4 hour drive on a good day. So he did his best to leave us alone as little as possible.

Normally I have things pretty much under control. I totally and completely agree that this is a mega comedy of error-fest, and I shall remind said 2yo when she has her own kids of this adventure It will definitely be a hilarious story to tell once the adrenalin wears off a little more

Until then....breeeeeeeeeathe!!!!!!!!
Yes, well, as long as they don't see your siggy they'll know you're not a child abuser

I've always loved your siggy, actually. Glad everything's calmed down!
post #45 of 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuamami View Post
Yes, well, as long as they don't see your siggy they'll know you're not a child abuser

post #46 of 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by Theoretica View Post
Thanks for the support everyone, and I agree, I wouldn't be too surprised if I get a call, although I expected to have heard from them by now honestly.
actually its a GOOD thing you havent heard from them so fast. shows you dont have an 'urgent' case.

in non urgent cases they may take upto a week to make a call. and then schedule an appt. depends also on their caseload.

and the good news is on low urgent cases they send out usually newly hired workers who are really nice sweet people.
post #47 of 74
o.m.g, mama. what a horrible day! to you, and kudos for surviving to tell the tale! Your attitude is great... somedays NO ONE is perfect.

I have no idea about cps, but I will say your story scared the crap out of me... I'm pg w/ hyperemesis and literally, somedays the last few weeks, I *only* get out of bed to change DD's dipe. Luckily, she's a happy child, so I don't forsee a screaming incident, but now I'm going to worry about the "well-meaning" neighbors/school-mates of DS who are driving him to and from school...
post #48 of 74
What a day for you!

I really don't think you have anything to fear from CPS. You might want to clean up a little, make sure you have food, etc, but I have no doubt they'll know that you're okay.
post #49 of 74
Oh. My. Word. What a NIGHTMARE! I am so sorry you had to go through that! I was tense and stressed just READING about it.

I honestly wouldn't be surprised if CPS shows up for a visit but I'm sure it will be fine after you've had time to collect your thoughts and explain the situation more thoroughly.

Try not to worry too much about it! Hopefully you can look back on this and chuckle...oh, in ten years or so, LOL. What an absolute mess!!
post #50 of 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by philomom View Post
Hmm, I would expect a follow-up visit. It does seem like your house and home were in a complete uproar that day/night. If I were the social worker, reading the cop's report, I would want to check on you again to make sure that it wasn't like that all the time.
I don't know, can CPS really potentially separate families because of a little mess and chaos? The OP's house that day sounds pretty much like my house every day (minus the screaming toddler). DD (age 4.5) usually has a meltdown once a day for one reason or another. Some days are worse than others. Most days the house is cluttered. At least in the early part of the day. Typically we do our 'clean up' right before we pick DP up for work so that when we all get home we don't have a mess to deal with. But before that? I don't bother because I know it will just get messy again. There's usually stuff out from lunch and toys/puzzles/coloring on the floor. It really only takes a half hour to an hour to clean but if someone walked into my house on a day that DD was particularly riled up and I was stressed and the baby was having a day where he didn't nap at all, I can see how it might look bad. However, I really hope that stuff like this is not taking up the time of CPS. I realize that they can follow up for 'messy house' when there are things like mold, old food out, dirty diapers.....etc. But a mattress on the floor? For a toddler? Really? In my mind that's pretty standard toddler bedding.

OP - sounds to me like you did a great job of trying to keep the kids happy and things in order. I'm sorry you had to deal with this. I totally know the feeling of getting a knock on the door and like you, I've ignored a couple. Ended up just being sales people or a neighbor stopping by for a visit, but in the throws of nap time I've ignored ringing door bells more than once. I really don't think you need to worry about CPS showing up. If they do stop by, I'm sure it will end there, as they'll see you're just a mom of THREE kids. Again, I think your house sounds pretty normal.
post #51 of 74
Wow.

Your story has succeeded in scaring the crap out of me. Ds1 is a real screamer and has been known to throw 2 hour tantrums before, in which any kind of talking to him or anything increases it, but walking away increases it, too. It's... crazy (luckily it's not constant). We're looking into therapies for him and also put him on an elimination diet to try and rule out food causes... but man, a couple weeks ago he had a two hour screaming freak-out while all our windows were open and I was SHOCKED that we didn't get a knock on our door. He was safe, just freaking out.

Anyway, good to know that it didn't put you on a high priority list or anything... sounds like you have things pretty under control, beyond that.
post #52 of 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by limabean View Post
I so admire your attitude about the whole thing -- you're an awesome mama!!
I totally agree.
post #53 of 74
I had a similar chaotic situation coupled with a nosy neighbor who made a call. It was horrifically unsettling, and they did call in CPS but in the end they realized that everything was fine. I did have to jump through their hoops to PROVE it was ok, but I would rather have an occasional invasive situation like that than have kids who DO need help not get it.

It is frustrating though that things come up when the house is a mess, or the laundry isn't done. In my situation, the concern was over a 'white powder' on the floor. DD had crabbed the carpet freshener and dumped it all in one spot while I was cleaning the other room.

FWIW, since that time, I am *completely* obsessive about making sure things are always clean and tidy. I realized how easy it is for a string of small things to be misinterpreted.
post #54 of 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by MammaB21 View Post
I don't know, can CPS really potentially separate families because of a little mess and chaos?
yes they can. depending on the situation. the pollice had already noted what was there. now if hte CPS worker came and found the same situation they would wonder is this always like this. and would remove the children until the parents cleaned up and then they would return the children. but those kind of situations dont really happen. the parents clean up immediately.

usually they do want to just do a simple check up and make sure things are ok.
post #55 of 74
I really hope everything turns out good your you and your family.
As has already been mentioned the fact that cps has not showed up yet at least means that you are low priority if even on their list at all.
post #56 of 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by meemee View Post
yes they can. depending on the situation. the pollice had already noted what was there. now if hte CPS worker came and found the same situation they would wonder is this always like this. and would remove the children until the parents cleaned up and then they would return the children. but those kind of situations dont really happen. the parents clean up immediately.

usually they do want to just do a simple check up and make sure things are ok.
But I thought the point of CPS was to make sure children are in a SAFE and LOVING home? So usually CPS works to keep families together before they resort to taking kids away, right? If CPS is really taking kids away because of a loud 2 year old, a puzzle on the floor, and clean laundry that hasn't been put away I think 90% of America would be without their children. I guess maybe I'm missing something here, but in my reality most 2 year olds scream and most houses inhabited by 2+ kids are messy most days.

This is actually making me really sad to think that CPS has so much power to take little nurslings away from their mother over a cluttered home. It's also scary to know that someone can dictate my life that way. We're not talking about abuse here, and heck, we're not even talking about a real mess. Like I said before, I understand an issue arising if a the mess can potentially affect the health of the child in question.

Okay I realize there are cases that actually need investigating. It just seems CPS would have bigger fish to fry here. .........aaaannnnddd.....cue panic attack.....I'm off to rant about government corruptions and corporate B.S.
post #57 of 74
oh geez. I hope everything works out for you!
my 2 year old is going thru a phase also.. started right after my girls started school , its her first time being home alone with me.. and she asks for my 5 year old ALL DAY LONG!
theres been so many times this last month that i was so relieved we live in the country & have no close neighbors, cause I was sure someone would call the cops if they heard her screaming.

so. Hugs to you!!! & hang in there!
post #58 of 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by meemee View Post
yes they can. depending on the situation. the pollice had already noted what was there. now if hte CPS worker came and found the same situation they would wonder is this always like this. and would remove the children until the parents cleaned up and then they would return the children. but those kind of situations dont really happen. the parents clean up immediately.

usually they do want to just do a simple check up and make sure things are ok.
I have to disagree with you here. I mean, technically, it is within their rights to remove a child here, but they have to have a hearing w/in 72 hours, and I would be very surprised if the social worker wanted to make the case to the judge that there was a Memory game on the floor and breakfast dishes in the sink.
post #59 of 74
NO!!!! CPS workers WONT remove OPS kids. she has cleaned up and things are good.

IF the worker came back and found the same state as the police found it then yes they would. not because of memory game. or clean laundry or loud kids. they would because of the powder stuff in the bathroom, paprika on the floor and nail polish on the legs and wrist ties. the fact that 2 year old had easy access to it and was unsupervised enough to paint leg does raise red flags. remember the cop spent at least 5 mins in their TINY bathroom.

it would be a temporary thing. it wouldnt mean removing the children and NEVER returning them. it would mean removing the children from an unsafe home, letting parents clean up, another check and then returning the children. all within a few days or a few weeks.

none of this is valid in OPs case.

i was answering the question can CPS take children away due to cluttered, unsafe houses. and i said yes they would IF it was not cleaned up (which is clearly NOT the case in OPs situation).

OP has NOTHING to worry about. her case is done. if the worker comes they will note everything is good and then close the case.

CPS does not really concern itself with LOVING home - but more with SAFE home where the house is baby proofed and the discipline is not torture.
post #60 of 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by meemee View Post
...they would because of the powder stuff in the bathroom, paprika on the floor and nail polish on the legs and wrist ties. the fact that 2 year old had easy access to it and was unsupervised enough to paint leg does raise red flags...
Ha! You have never met my two year old. My son could literally dump an entire container of powder all over (that was located on top of a computer desk), climb on the cabinets, get out the paprika, pour it on the carpet, then snatch a bottle of paint from DD room and paint everything in sight including the baby. AND, he could do all that in two minutes flat.

He is VERY fast. And if anyone thinks it takes "easy access" and "unspervision" they have never met a child like mine. Because unless you have him in your arms 24/7, he is into something. Even if it is only moments. And all the afore mentioned things HAVE happened to us, and it can be so very fast. Faster than the time you take to answer a phone call, say, "you have the wrong number" and turn back around. Faster than you can run and go pee. Faster than you can put a bandaide on another child's knee.

Just saying...

In my experience, CPS would never remove the children if the OP's depiction of the events and such were accurate. They would tell her she must clean up, and they would make return trips (likely). But, the scene (even at it's worst version) as explained in the OP's is nothing like some of the horrid ones they have to deal with on a routine basis (at least in my area and in my experience). And even those they do not necessarily remove the children right away. Only if there were sufficient cause to think the children were in immediate danger. And the OP's scene did not seem to come across that way to me.
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