moral support

[aliciahorsley]

DS is 7y 3m and not reading. While I am OK with this, as he is dyslexic like DH, it would be nice if he could recognise letters. He can draw so well and adapts origami planes for hours on end. He's good to his siblings and helpful with chores etc. But his inability to recognise letters nevermind read is begiining to chip away my confidence.

Plus he wants a game console so badly and everyone around us has one or wants ot buy him one. I can't help but know the game console is not going to aid the reading cause so I would like to hold out til he can read. Too paranoid?

AND DD (5y 11m) is jusy opposite. Loves doing her ClickNread, Math Mammoth and writing practice. She is the perfect child for school and she loves the routine and social aspect. Keeping her oocupied without letting DS know he's way behind is pretty skilful work.

I really need to hear stories from ofther HSers who have faced similar situations and come through ok. I am feeling a bit overwhelmed and inept at the moment.

[Momma Aimee]

would he be motivated by knowing he IS behind his little sister? Maybe "hey i can't just slack this forever, i need to kick it or my little sister is going to show me up?"

[mary3mama]

Our experiences are so similar!

My eldest child was struggling as an early reader when he was 7. He had some basic skills but that was all. I tried everything, including '100 easy lessons' (which we both hated, BTW)

By the time his 8th bday came along I had gotten to a place of acceptance and (almost)patience about it. I really did believe that he had the requisite ability and intelligence to do well...even though he, like his father, appeared to have a 'dyslexic brain.'

And my younger son (4 years younger) was sitting there through all of this just figuring it out. He was reading just past his 4th bday. I thought there'd be some bad feelings or competitiveness, but my older son just cheered him on.

But something happened between eldest child's 8th & 9th bday...something clicked. We had never stopped reading to and with him, btw. We didn't just abandon him to it...just stopped pressuring him to read.

By the time he was 9 he could read, easily, at at least a jr high level. Now at 11, again without any pressure or specific 'lessons' he's easily reading at a high school graduate level.

And the younger son? He's now 7 and reading at about a jr high level too.

[Savoir Faire]

Mine are 18 months apart. My older one has dyslexic tendencies...we thought for awhile it might e full blown Dyslexia....but decided it was not that.

My younger one was keeping on par with the older...without even really trying. It was HORRIBLE.

We tried everything...literally. We also hated 100 easy lessons...but found some success with Spell to Read and Write and then Phonics Pathways.

We're still not *readers* yet...but we're getting better. Hang in there. I so know where you are. Have you actually talked to your son about this?

[chfriend]

Originally Posted by Momma Aimee

would he be motivated by knowing he IS behind his little sister? Maybe "hey i can't just slack this forever, i need to kick it or my little sister is going to show me up?"

It seems completely inappropriate to pit a kid with dyslexia against his younger sibling who is not learning disabled.

What in the post indicated that the child was "slack?"

Here are my thoughts on the reading.

It might be just fine and dandy that he can't recognize the letters because it's the letter *sounds* he needs to get in order to put reading together.

What non-computer learning methods have you used to approach reading? How much reading to him are you doing every day? How do you feel about reading?

I've been on this road a while...progressive phonics.com printable books are funny enough to be engaging and are read together. Starts with alphabetti books. We all love them.

All about Spelling is very hands on and once you get set up easy to do.

The Ordinary Parent's Guide to Teaching Reading is waaaaaaay better than 100 lessons (IMO).

I found absolutely no correlation with getting a Wii or playing on Webkinz with reading or not reading.

The computer based learning (except Reading Eggs) was a complete waste of time for my had a hard time reading one. Reading Eggs was great reinforcement for her, whereas it did nothing for my Bob book/progressive phonics learn by memorizing books and putting together the phonograms easier time reading one.

Starfall and Explode the Code and various others were fun, but none of the learning "stuck."

I have lots and lots and lots more ideas and thoughts if he's wanting to read.....

[Momma Aimee]

Originally Posted by chfriend

It seems completely inappropriate to pit a kid with dyslexia against his younger sibling who is not learning disabled.

What in the post indicated that the child was "slack?"

Here are my thoughts on the reading.

It might be just fine and dandy that he can't recognize the letters because it's the letter *sounds* he needs to get in order to put reading together.

What non-computer learning methods have you used to approach reading? How much reading to him are you doing every day? How do you feel about reading?

I've been on this road a while...progressive phonics.com printable books are funny enough to be engaging and are read together. Starts with alphabetti books. We all love them.

All about Spelling is very hands on and once you get set up easy to do.

The Ordinary Parent's Guide to Teaching Reading is waaaaaaay better than 100 lessons (IMO).

I found absolutely no correlation with getting a Wii or playing on Webkinz with reading or not reading.

The computer based learning (except Reading Eggs) was a complete waste of time for my had a hard time reading one. Reading Eggs was great reinforcement for her, whereas it did nothing for my Bob book/progressive phonics learn by memorizing books and putting together the phonograms easier time reading one.

Starfall and Explode the Code and various others were fun, but none of the learning "stuck."

I have lots and lots and lots more ideas and thoughts if he's wanting to read.....

it is NOT totally inappropriate to ask. Get a grip. it has nothing to do with "slacking:" it has to do with motivation and what gets person going.

i personally have sever "strong: learning disabilities -- and one my my greatest joys in school was competeing for the best grade, point by point, with a buddy. Competition is NOT EVIL. yes it can be bad and misused -- it can also 1. be fun and 2. a reality check ... my older Godson (nephew) didn't care to TRY to read due to his LD issues till his 2 years younger little brother started to read better than him and THAT set quite a fire under him. Can it be misused? yes! is it always automatically wrong??? NO!!!

[Lillian J]

I think the important thing is to support his confidence. It must be hard for him to struggle with something he knows is so important to you, and he can't help but notice that his little sister is having no problems with it. He obviously has some good spacial and logistical talent, and that will serve him very well as time goes on. He could no doubt get some real satisfaction from the game console, and it wouldn't affect his reading skills, except that it might actually help him advance with it as I've known it to do with some other children. I wouldn't take on so much self-blame for the fact that he simply has dyslexic problems that interfere with what you think should be happening for him right now. I need to run out the door to an appointment, but I can leave this link to a thread that's helped a number of people - "I have a 7 yr. old non-reader" support group. I can't recall if it gets into dyslexia, but I'll be back and post links to some that do. - Lillian

[Lillian J]

Back with some links to dyslexia threads:
Homeschooling & dyslexia support
Resources for dyslexia?
Homeschooling with dyslexia
Auditory processing issues/dyslexia

And dyslexia is often diagnosed in cases where the real issue is vision skill deficiency, which is what happened to my son, so here's an article on that:
Taking a Look at Vision Skills. And a thread on it: ? for anyone who did vision therapy, and another, How do you know at what level your kids are reading? (it morphed into a discussion on vision therapy.)

Lillian

[phathui5]

What have you tried with him in regards to the dyslexia?

[greenmama]

I have moderate dyslexia, but have never experienced or heard of it affecting letter recognition. The only letters I can see it causing recognition problems with are letters which become other letters when reversed (ie: b &d, p&q) the reading difficulties of dyslexia are usually from the letters "scrambling" with each other as you learn words. My experience was that as I aged and learned to spell more words and recognize when what I was seeing wasn't an actual word, I would then know to "re-look" and see if the letters made an actual word if re-organized. About 6th grade my dyslexia corrected itself almost overnight. The only things I have problems with today are random letters/numbers such as reading a credit card number.

Since keeping things in correct order is crucial to math that is where I had more problems. In jr. high my math teacher realized the problem when my mother mentioned I was dyslexic and she stopped making me show my work. With less steps actually written on the paper there was less opportunity to mis-read the number order and I learned to do it in my head.

I know an 18 yo w/sever dyslexia and books on tape are a lifesaver for him. As an adaption he has developed an amazing memory. he acts and generally his family reads his script into a recording devise so he can listen to it, and in short order he has it memorized.

I hope you find a way to help your son, you may find his learning challenge is something other than/in addition to dyslexia.

[chfriend]

Originally Posted by Momma Aimee

and one my my greatest joys in school was competeing for the best grade, point by point, with a buddy.

Voluntarily choosing to compete with an unrelated age peer is not similar to being pitted against your younger sibling in a homeschool context in an effort to motivate them to say "'hey i can't just slack this forever, i need to kick it or my little sister is going to show me up?'."

Looking forward to hearing from the OP on what she's tried. There are so many great resources for a kid with dyslexia who wants to learn to read.

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by chfriend

Voluntarily choosing to compete with an unrelated age peer is not similar to being pitted against your younger sibling in a homeschool context in an effort to motivate them to say "'hey i can't just slack this forever, i need to kick it or my little sister is going to show me up?'."

Looking forward to hearing from the OP on what she's tried. There are so many great resources for a kid with dyslexia who wants to learn to read.

And one of the all too common problems that come with any learning difficulties such as dyslexia is the notion that adults often have that the child is just lazy or indifferent or not trying hard enough. I vividly remember during the first get together of our local Parents Active for Vision Education group when we all went around the circle telling our stories that most of the parents were in tears over what their children had gone through before it came to light that they had vision skill deficiencies. I was the only one not in tears, because we had homeschooled after 1st grade, so my child hadn't been under pressure. One parent told of her son who'd put himself through hell during high school to try to keep his grades up so that he could become a doctor like his parents - his own self-made pressure - at one point, he said he was feeling as if he might have a stroke. When they finally got the vision skill diagnosis and got the therapy, he was finally able to function normally, get into college, and get on with his plans. Everyone in the circle had stories of their children being under pressure - that just happened to stand out in my mind because of the added element of his putting so much pressure on himself that he thought he was going to burst. A child with learning difficulties needs all the support and encouragement he can get about the things he can do well - and those talents may very well be the things that lead to a happy and successful career of whatever kind in the future, whereas the things he may not be that successful with may be things that really are not even that big an issue as time goes on. I've seen this in the case of children I've watched grow up - oftentimes their nature is very obvious from a very early age, but parents are focusing so much on waiting to see them fall into the more traditional molds that they overlook it and are surprised to see it eventually reemerge. Lillian

[aliciahorsley]

After reading the first reply, I was kind of worried about coming back to the thread for fear so everyone responding similarly. I am competitive by nature and that makes me, me. But DS is obviously not as it couldn’t bother him less that DD is more advanced. I’m of the mindset that to each his own. Their personalities and preferences will and should influence the way they learn more successfully than any external pressure I can apply.

Mary3mama: I’ve heard and read similar stories to yours. I just never get tired of hearing it and yours has bolstered my faith. Thank you.

Savoir Faire: I have and he understands the need. He will try but gets so frustrated and I keep thinking maybe he’s just not ready. He’s got a good attitude and loves listening to stories. It’s good to know we are not alone, thanks.

Chfriends: I may just take you up on the offer for a resource list. Thank you for saying what I could not say myself about competition. My younger sisters openly admit to being so intimidated by my excellent academic track record and often felt like the ‘dumb ones’ which is so untrue. It makes me sad. Healthy competition is a fine line and one I am not sure I am equipped to encourage.

Lilian J: WOW! Thanks for the links and info. Will spend some time this morning going through it. With regards to his dyslexia, well….DH is dyslexia and are his father and aunt. I’m not buying entirely into his label because after reading Dr Mellilo about Functional Disconnection Syndrome, I am pretty sure this is more his problem. As such, he’s on a mostly healthy diet with plenty of play and physical activity (gymnastics once a week and fencing twice).

Pathui5: Do you mean therapy?

Greenmama: You may well be very right. That’s why I am reluctant to have his ‘diagnosed’ and want to keep an open mind to the whole thing. He had a very traumatic birth (seven weeks early, I had the full complement of drugs and interventions including an induction and epidural, came our bruised and battered from forceps etc) and I know these things also can affect him.

[aliciahorsley]

Here a bit about what we are like:

I am a voracious reader and read everyday without fail. I try to let the kids be kids and encourage them to play and solve their disputes amicably among themselves without me unles it's dangerous or someone's hurt.

The kids play outside a lot and we have lots of pets which they help to care for. We also run a small pet boutique and do lots of rehoming. The kids know how to handle most varieties of pets safely and can help grooming and rehad work for injured/sickly animals. However they prefer just playing with the orphan kittens and puppies, which is normal for kids so young.

With reading to them, it's quite sporadic. Sometimes we read for hours each day (like when we were into the spiderwick choronicles) and these last two weeks, the weather has been divine and we've been catching tadpoles and harvesting wild bamboo to use in the garden, so not much reading at all! They love being read to but I have to admit sometimes, after a long day, I am just too tired. DH would but he travels a lot and he reads very badly (bless) and kids often complain, cheeky things.

DS does gymnastics and fencing. Both of which he really enjoys. But he can't cycle and finds it scary especially when we try to raise the stabilisers. I have been doing some of the exercises from the Brain Balance Program to help build a stronger connection between his left and right hemisphere. And we are careful but not paranoid about food. So no fast food but we're not organic.

I've tried the ClickN read but I think we will give it a rest and try again in a few months. However, he's pretty happy to write and will do his math mammoth without complaint. He's best when he can do it it in head. He can multiply and divide mentally but if he tried to write it, he'd probably have a headache (I do not exaggerate).

Thank you so much for the ideas, stories, comments and thoughts. It is good to know we are not alone and many have come through just fine.