Having a midnight freak-out about DS's school, help!

[limabean]

DS went to an absolutely wonderful school last year in kindergarten, but then we moved (just a mile up the road and actually closer to his wonderful school, but apparently into a different school district), so he's in a new school for first grade this year. I'm trying to take it in stride, but it's so difficult to not compare this school to the old one. The facilities, the procedures, the enrichment programs, the test scores -- all worse at the new school. They're not horrible or anything, but we were pretty pampered last year and it's difficult for me to not be wistful.

We were the "poor" people at the old school (living in a condo with many classmates living in an exclusive gated community), and we're the "rich" people at the new school (living in a single-family home with many classmates living in apartments). I did worry about being surrounded by consumerism at the old school though, and before we moved I looked forward to having a more realistic atmosphere where we are now. But then today Oprah had a whole show about how our country's schools are broken and I got all freaked out. I looked up the stats for the high school DS will eventually attend if we stay here, and one source said that "93% of students from [that school] enroll in college" but another source said that only "43% attend 4-year college" (maybe the 93% included junior colleges too or something?).

I know I shouldn't get all bogged down by API scores and college enrollment rates, but I'm totally wigging out for some reason -- my heart is pounding and I have a sick feeling in my stomach like we just ruined our kids' futures for a bigger house.

I've considered an interdistrict transfer, but there'd be no guarantee of acceptance from year to year, and no guarantee of acceptance for our DD once she starts school, so that'd be too stressful to have to apply and hope every year. Plus I want to be a part of our neighborhood community, and all of the families who live near us attend (and apparently like) this new school. I've also looked into private schools, but at a cost of about $600/month (times 2 once DD starts) it's just too expensive.

So, it's only been 1 week since school started. Obviously I should give it a longer chance before making any rash decisions. Help, talk me down from my irrational panic!

[GuildJenn]

It'll be okay.

I would take it year-by-year. When there's a problem be prepared to respond. Until then, breathe a bit. How is it going this year so far?

We got great advice from my son's Montessori teacher to save our money during the elementary school years so that if we needed to go private for whatever reason in the high school years we would have a fund. Admittedly the spread between good and bad schools is not as large where we are because schools are funded provincially, not via local property taxes/voting. But I still think that was sound advice- then we get to know what our son's exact needs are.

Even if you never are able to do that I think there are many many ways to enrich education and keep education at the top of your kid's agenda. In some ways your child may learn to take more responsibility for his own learning that will serve him well.

Also the junior college stat could well be a function of tuition and not admissions right?

[limabean]

Originally Posted by GuildJenn

It'll be okay.

I would take it year-by-year. When there's a problem be prepared to respond. Until then, breathe a bit. How is it going this year so far?

We got great advice from my son's Montessori teacher to save our money during the elementary school years so that if we needed to go private for whatever reason in the high school years we would have a fund. Admittedly the spread between good and bad schools is not as large where we are because schools are funded provincially, not via local property taxes/voting. But I still think that was sound advice- then we get to know what our son's exact needs are.

Even if you never are able to do that I think there are many many ways to enrich education and keep education at the top of your kid's agenda. In some ways your child may learn to take more responsibility for his own learning that will serve him well.

Also the junior college stat could well be a function of tuition and not admissions right?

Thank you.

The middle school and high school the kids would go to are actually rated fairly high (except for that weird college discrepancy I found last night -- I'll have to figure out the real story on that), it's just that we happen to go to the poorest elementary school that feeds into those schools. So I was thinking it'd be fine, but then last night this huge "but THESE are the formative years!!" thought hit me. We do lots of enrichment at home, and I'm pretty confident that whatever the stats for DS's school are he'll do well because he has a supportive, engaged home environment. I'd just hate to be having to struggle to make up for what the school lacks instead of enhancing what they offer.

[cristeen]

Theres jr college, community college, technical college, they all feed the first stat. The 2nd stat usually doesnt follow them beyond immediate matriculation, its usually only talking about right out of hs that percentage go to a 4-yr. It doesnt cover transfers at a later date (no way to track that).

But seriously, w the state the country is in, a 4 yr college educationmeans less and less every day. At the same time, the internet is makng it easier and easier to get a degree. I wouldnt worry about it at this point.

[Geofizz]

GuildJen is very much correct on the college numbers being a consequence of the socio-economic differences. 93% enrolling in college is a huge proportion for a graduating class from a public school. That's fantastic. Community colleges are a fraction of the cost of a 4 year school (even CA CCs compared to Cal State system), you can live at home (saving $$), and the credits transfer just about anywhere to complete the 4 year degree.

But you also just have a first grader. Focus on elementary school for now. Who knows what will come down the road. If your kid's needs are being served now, that's what's most important.

[LynnS6]

I'm a college professor. I agree wholeheartedly that the college stats are all about family expectations. Do you know the people most likely to drop out of college? First generation college students. They have no one to help them with the expectations and the culture of college.

Because I'm college educated and dh is college educated, and our entire extended family is college educated, my kids already assume they'll go to college. When ds was 7 and planning on being a city bus driver (a decent job with good benefits by the way), he would say "I'll go to high school, and the college, and then I'll be a bus driver."

Now that he's moved on from his bus obsession, ds is considering other professions. The other day he and his sister were talking about schools, and which ones they'll go to next. Ds said "first I'll go to middle school, then high school, then college, then graduate school, and then I'll get a job." I'd be willing to bet that 1/2 of his classmates don't know the difference between college and graduate school! But ds has parents who not only know the difference, but who can help him get there if he really wants.

If it makes you feel better, our kids are in a school with 'bad' stats. We're a high poverty school, with 80-85% free and reduced lunch. 70% of the kids are in ESL because English is not the language they speak at home. We don't look as good on paper as the schools who are lily white and middle/upper middle class. And do you know what? Our school is great. The teachers are phenomenal. Much better than at other schools. My kids are learning what they should be to succeed, and they're naturally around a lot of kids who aren't very much like them. The life lessons they're learning are priceless.

Finally, don't forget that high school is 8 years away. That's a long long time. A lot can change. And honestly, I've taught some college kids who would have been much better off not going to a 4 year college, but going to trade school or something of the like where their talents would be put to good use. My BIL actually was like that. He went to 2 years of college, did a service project restoring old houses and fell in love with carpentry. He's married to my sister who's a high powered prosecuting attorney. On paper, you'd think they'd be very mismatched. But they're not. He's an incredibly smart man who was excellent at his job.

[limabean]

LynnS6 -- thank you so much. That's exactly what I needed to hear. I was making myself crazy. I so appreciate you putting things into perspective. Thank you thank you thank you!