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For those mother's who [ahem] tend their personal topiary

post #1 of 53
9/21/10 at 8:12am
Thread Starter 
Believe it or not, this is actually a parenting question but I wasn't sure where it belonged so, mods, please move if necessary.

There's always something to worry about as a parent isn't there? I had my first post-pregnancy bikini wax today. I don't get a brazillian but it certainly doesn't look natural.

So it occured to me tonight that maybe I should stop waxing/clipping when J gets a bit older. I don't mind if she wants to wax when she gets older but I want her to have a healthy perception of what a normal adult woman looks like too. I think this is just as important for boys too.

What have other mothers done?
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post #2 of 53
9/21/10 at 8:32am
I would continue to wax and tell her that waxing is a part of grooming that women do when they are older.
post #3 of 53
9/21/10 at 8:41am
I agree. I can remember begining to shave that area when i hit my teen years, and it had nothing to do with what my mother did. And we did/do have a very open relationship in term of our bodies, and she NEVER did any grooming "down there". So honestly, I think it can be just as healthy for a daughter (or son) to know we can change things if we want to. Its all a matter of preferance.
post #4 of 53
9/21/10 at 9:07am
To be honest- I don't ever remember seeing my mom "down there" and have no idea what kind of maintenance she does

In other words.... if I have a girl I will continue on with what I do now and not worry about it
post #5 of 53
9/21/10 at 9:17am
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrspineau View Post
I would continue to wax and tell her that waxing is a part of grooming that women do when they are older.
I'd also mention to the child that such grooming is not necessary for all women

I do groom from time to time when things get uh... out of hand BUT I don't wax or any of that.
post #6 of 53
9/21/10 at 9:33am
My mom never really taught me anything about any sort of personal grooming, she didn't do hair, makeup, she did teach me how to shave my legs, but yeah, not much at all. I had to figure it all out on my own, and didn't really feel all that comfortable with talking to her about it. And honestly, by the time I figured some of it out I was already rather embarrassed. (FTR, I love my mom to pieces and don't hold this against her, she's just not a girly person and I am) Because of this if I have a girl I would completely continue to do whatever I already do, and try to teach her that she can be however she wants, but if she wants helps with anything, I'm there to show her. (well not show her *everything*, you all know what I'm getting at)
post #7 of 53
9/21/10 at 9:39am
I would continue doing what you do. Grooming is natural. I do a little of this and a little of that as it strikes me to do it. I want my dds to know that they have options. To wear crazy make up, natural make up or no make up. to have crazy hair color, natural hair color or their hair color. To shave it all, to shave parts or to shave nothing. I do NOT encourage permanent changes of any sort but little temporary ones....sure, why not. Our bodies are a canvas. Especially our hair which grows back in a few days.
post #8 of 53
9/21/10 at 9:41am
Best. Thread Title. Ever.
post #9 of 53
9/21/10 at 9:47am
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Boudicca~ View Post
Best. Thread Title. Ever.


Also, I think you should continue to do whatever you choose. A shaved and clipped personal topiary is no less representative of a healthy, normal adult woman than a wild and tangling personal rosebush. They're both appropriate choices that normal adult women make.

My DD has seen my entire person (except my head) in different states of shaved and unshaven, and has never commented. If she asks when she gets older, I'll tell her that I do it when I feel like it and don't when I don't, and it's her landscaping choice to make.
post #10 of 53
9/21/10 at 9:54am
Quote:
Originally Posted by lynsage View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Boudicca~ View Post
Best. Thread Title. Ever.


Also, I think you should continue to do whatever you choose. A shaved and clipped personal topiary is no less representative of a healthy, normal adult woman than a wild and tangling personal rosebush. They're both appropriate choices that normal adult women make.

My DD has seen my entire person (except my head) in different states of shaved and unshaven, and has never commented. If she asks when she gets older, I'll tell her that I do it when I feel like it and don't when I don't, and it's her landscaping choice to make.
Best quote and followup post ever.

And I totally agree. Also loved lilyka's post, too.
post #11 of 53
9/21/10 at 9:59am
Yeah, I like the idea of presenting it as her choice. In her control to decide how to style her pubic hair, just like she can choose what style of clothing etc. Let it be empowering.
post #12 of 53
9/21/10 at 10:19am
Quote:
Originally Posted by The4OfUs View Post
Best quote and followup post ever.

And I totally agree. Also loved lilyka's post, too.
Absolutely!

My mom was 100% natural for most of my life. She didn't shave, at all, anywhere and had tons of black hair on her legs, armpits and, as lynsage so wonderfully describes it, her wild and tangling personal rosebush.

I am more middle of the garden by personal perference. I can't say my mom's choices influenced me in any way at all.
post #13 of 53
9/21/10 at 10:20am
I agree. It's all normal, it's all good and it's just about what you prefer.

My dd doesn't understand why I don't wear sparkles and a tutu most days like she does, I'm certain she won't understand my personal grooming choices and just come up with her own like she does for everything else.
post #14 of 53
9/21/10 at 10:59am
My boys have both seen it both ways and have never mentioned it. I shave it all once every couple months then let it go until it starts to get out of control.
My daughter is only 2 months old but hopefully she will feel free to do whatever she likes with her body hair.
I didn't shave anything as a teenager/young adult and my mom was very much of the belief that I should.
post #15 of 53
9/21/10 at 11:06am
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamalisa View Post
My dd doesn't understand why I don't wear sparkles and a tutu most days like she does,
post #16 of 53
9/21/10 at 11:14am
I would also advise doing what you do and be orepared to support her in whatever she decides, too.

My mother STILL tells me I 'should't' shave above the knee and STILL acts surprised that I have very visible, dark hair near my bikini line. She refers to it as my 'hair problem'. She's very fair and apparently hasn't noticed that most of the rest of the world's population is not. Still bugs me and I'm nearly 40. I'd prefer to go au natural, but I have a nagging worry about my 'hair problem', so I shave my legs and underarms(OK, going au natural in my case would certainly be a statement as I have very fair skin and very dark hair....there would be no peach-fuzzy middle road for me!).

So....what you do may not sway your daughter, but what you say and the respect you show her will certainly affect her, so I'd just supply her with with support and supplies and possibly some company as she gets older and tries out new looks.
post #17 of 53
9/21/10 at 11:38am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvFSgXpyhoM Had to share. This was so funny.

MammaG is right. My mom got on to me for shaving my leg early and was uncomfortable I would save the sides of my pubic hairs. I swam and I hated the hairs sticking out or getting pulled by my swim suit.

Trimming the rest became a part of the total preventing moisture and yeast infection.
post #18 of 53
9/21/10 at 12:26pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marsupialmom View Post
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvFSgXpyhoM Had to share. This was so funny.

MammaG is right. My mom got on to me for shaving my leg early and was uncomfortable I would save the sides of my pubic hairs. I swam and I hated the hairs sticking out or getting pulled by my swim suit.

Trimming the rest became a part of the total preventing moisture and yeast infection.
The things I miss because I don't have tv. That's awesome.

Yeah, I'm very different from my mom and it's been fine. I'm not going to sweat it.
post #19 of 53
9/21/10 at 12:58pm
Such a good topic!!! My other mama friends and I were just debating this. The conclusion I've come to is that brazilians (which i havent gotten since our honeymoon) may send a message of "hair is bad" but that trimming can be discussed without shaming our naturalness.
post #20 of 53
9/21/10 at 1:03pm
This thread actually reminded me to make an appt.
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