Stress - How Much Of a Risk Does It Pose?

[gummibears]

In a perfect world we'd never have stress, but it creeps up even when all seems to be going well. So, from your personal experience, how much is okay before risks are posed?

With DS I had extreme stress a few days and seriously worried about the effects, only to find he was fine the next week at my sonogram. Of course this stress was 11wks, later first tri.

I just clicked over to 7wks today, and have had bouts of mild to fairly bad stress. My doctor said stress is not a risk until you find it interferes with sleep and you are unable to function in life. But apparently anything short of that is okay? Is that really true?

Because there's been days where there were short lived (we're talking an hour or less - then some worry about if baby is okay afterward) of pretty bad stress but it wasn't debilitating enough to stop anything and sleep came easily (and I'm one to have troubles there without stress) those nights. I've started to leave it in His hands and pray that the baby is safe. Somehow it helps, I think.

So, how about you? Have you endured great amounts of stress - particularly early first tri - and had all be okay? And of course we all know babies have been born under extremely stressful situations and been just fine and all that, but I guess you can't stop being concerned for the little one even though it's probably just fine.

[Tresa]

Most stress comes and goes...at least our response to it might rise and fall in intensity. It sounds like this is the case for you.

I think there's adjustment that happens every time you enter a new phase of your life, every time there's a change, and getting pregnant, settling into the newness of it, isn't an exception. I think your doc is right, that unless it's physically wearing on you, the baby is okay.

[WifeofAnt]

Everyone has stress sometime or another. Healthy babies are even born during times of civil war and in prisons. I can't even imagine how stressed out animals in the wild might be sometimes (always looking out for enemies and predators) and the animal kingdom hasn't come crashing down yet. Now I might be worried about the effects (and the reasoning behind it) if you were so stressed out you were fearing for your life but we're not china dolls.

[zuleicamoon]

When I was pg with dd2, my husband flew out of state to take care of some legal stuff. His attorney said it would be in and out, they would dismiss the case and he'd be home the next day. That was stressful. What was even more stressful was that the judge gave him six months in county jail ,plus fines. I had no job, he lost his obviously and had no way to pay the fines he needed to get out. I had a lot of sleepless nights worrying about how I was going to come out of this ok, and manage to take care of my kids as well. We worked it out, he was home in time for the birth and she is a healthy, happy four year old.

While pg with dd3, I also had a lot of stress. She was very unplanned, I was trying so hard to finish school, working two part time jobs, juggling a 4 year old and a one year old with a partner who was too busy drowning his sorrows in a bottle to be any help. Dh was laid off twice, we lost our house, dh broke his leg and then needed spinal surgery (his fourth). That pregnancy also progressed without complication, dd3 just turned two a few months ago. (this whole post so far makes my dh sound like a complete jack*** -- he is really not, those just were some very rough years for him).

I am now just shy of 5 wks with another unexpected bean. There is some stress around money, our living arrangements and the fact that no family will be supportive of this situation. But I truly think that having developed effective (and healthy!) coping mechanisms over the years and finding that Zen space where I can accept what is happening without attachment or expectation for the outcome brings me more peace that if we were to just have a stress-free life. Because life happens, you can't plan for everything, and there are some great benefits to being able to roll with it all without getting too flustered.

[gummibears]

That's kinda what I thought as well. It's a hectic point in life, and there's bound to be some stress along the way. I've heard of others with longer lived stress days and days on end fair well, too. Mine just is fleeting an hour or two here and there - not a daily thing sometimes not even weekly, and I have to remind myself that I had a really bad day early on before I even knew I was pregnant, and things 3 weeks later seem to be going well.

It's funny I was just telling DH about how people bore children through wars (not knowing how early on they were at the time of course) and all that when I was rationalizing the situation and calming down. It's the "oh crap, is this bothering the baby" feeling that bothers me more. It's short lived most of the time DH calms me pretty well. That's his big job and he excells at it.

Goodness, I can't wait until my apt when we can hopefully hear the heartbeat. Once I hear it I'll be calm and know all is well. Until then I'll have to trust that it is.

[gummibears]

Originally Posted by zuleicamoon

When I was pg with dd2, my husband flew out of state to take care of some legal stuff. His attorney said it would be in and out, they would dismiss the case and he'd be home the next day. That was stressful. What was even more stressful was that the judge gave him six months in county jail ,plus fines. I had no job, he lost his obviously and had no way to pay the fines he needed to get out. I had a lot of sleepless nights worrying about how I was going to come out of this ok, and manage to take care of my kids as well. We worked it out, he was home in time for the birth and she is a healthy, happy four year old.

While pg with dd3, I also had a lot of stress. She was very unplanned, I was trying so hard to finish school, working two part time jobs, juggling a 4 year old and a one year old with a partner who was too busy drowning his sorrows in a bottle to be any help. Dh was laid off twice, we lost our house, dh broke his leg and then needed spinal surgery (his fourth). That pregnancy also progressed without complication, dd3 just turned two a few months ago. (this whole post so far makes my dh sound like a complete jack*** -- he is really not, those just were some very rough years for him).

I am now just shy of 5 wks with another unexpected bean. There is some stress around money, our living arrangements and the fact that no family will be supportive of this situation. But I truly think that having developed effective (and healthy!) coping mechanisms over the years and finding that Zen space where I can accept what is happening without attachment or expectation for the outcome brings me more peace that if we were to just have a stress-free life. Because life happens, you can't plan for everything, and there are some great benefits to being able to roll with it all without getting too flustered.

Well said, and gosh, I can't imagine how the stress was for you those times. I think we bog ourselves down too much with the big picture sometimes. I'm taking it little by little anxiously waiting to hit 10 weeks when things are usually pretty stable. That includes the upcoming move which is also pretty chaotic and I think it's also making me a bit anxious and maybe even mildly stressed because I just want to be in there already and settled.

Hopefully all will work out with your bean and the monetary side of things.

[kcparker]

Chronic, high levels of stress are not great for a fetus, but they are survivable. Maybe a kid born during a war has higher levels of cortisol and is at greater risk for depression or anxiety as an adult, but maybe not. Humans are tough and resilient. And, lots of pregnancies stick, lots of them miscarry, due to nothing a mama has done or not done. Making a new human is complicated, and between conception and the age of viability, about 60% of fertilized eggs do not become live infants. Many of them don't even survive long enough for a mother to know that she has conceived.

Women worry so much about every little thing we do, think, eat, wear, and how it will affect our growing baby, and the stress of all the worry is often worse than the thing itself. Don't take on yet one more thing to feel guilty about. Don't beat yourself up if you have a hectic day or are a ball of nerves for a week because you have a major deadline at work and are fighting morning sickness or something like that.

[gummibears]

kcparker, I'd heard that it's genetics that cause miscarriages, but still can't help but worry.. just a bit. You do give great advice about guilt and beating ourselves up. Think I'm adopting all that as my mantra. Seriously.

I don't dwell on it too much, though, and I think that's the best way to get though it all. I tend to have less than an hour of worry just to address it and not bottle it up, talk with DH cuddle, then leave it in His hands with a prayer and it's gone. It seems to work because without that "ritual" I'd just keep worrying over and over. It's kinda like burying it, I guess.

We do try to limit stress and I do try to stay calmer than normal (and I have been or I would have had far more stress had I not) so, that's all we can really do, right?

Now, to move and hear the heartbeat (which I assume should happen at the 10wk checkup which I'm due for the week we are to close on house and are hoping to move.) Not much longer now and my nausea is very comforting at the moment since I've not really had much all this time.