Night weaning without help

[marieangela]

My dd is 19 months old and only nurses a couple of times during the day, but then wakes up multiple times during the night to nurse. She even wakes up sometimes during a nap to nurse back to sleep. My dh works very long hours and gets home late at night (often after I've nursed dd back to sleep once or twice), so he can't really help. My dad is able to get dd to sleep for naps and even back to sleep when she wakes up from naps. I know that it's possible, but she just associates me with nursing. The last time I tried to get her back to sleep without nursing she was up for at least two hours in the middle of the night and I found it quite hard to function the next morning and get the boys ready for school.
My dh and I are taking a weekend trip in early Nov and will be gone for three nights. My inlaws will be staying at our house with the kids. I'm wondering if I should bother trying to night wean now or just let her time with my mil help her learn to get back to sleep without nursing/not wake up so much.

[ASusan]

I'd wait until the trip.

But, she still might want to night nurse when you get back.

I went on a 5-night trip w/o DS when he was 15 mos old. There was a little night weaning that occurred, but he still nursed at night after that. I would say night weaning took place very gradually over the next 18 months (yes, 18 months). I took out the 1am-ish feed next and let DH settle him through that one. Then I took out the 4am feeding alone. Meaning I walked the floor, sang, held, recited chant-y books and poetry almost every night until DS went back to sleep. Then I moved his early morning (5am-ish) feeding to "when it's morning" meaning when the sun comes up. And that's been gradually been moving later and later through the summer, of course. And we did backsliding when we went on vacation, because I went the course of least resistence (nurse in the early morning) to get more sleep because we were all staying up late and wanting to sleep in to 9am.

He's almost 3, and he still wakes at 5:30ish and asks to nurse. For US, it was/is a VERY long process. (then again, he nurses only 2 times a day, when he goes to bed and when he wakes up)

[alegna]

I'd try increasing daytime nursings and see if that helps. Toddlers at that age really still need the milk as well as the comfort so I would see if I could get more milk in while awake.

good luck!

-Angela

[himariya]

Same boat here. Dh can usually get him (12 months) to sleep or back to sleep pretty quickly. He says "Just hold him on your chest and sing to him". Yes, but I have MILK, and ds knows that! I've noticed now recently that he doesn't usually seem to nurse as if he's really hungry during the night. Not sure how nightweaning will go, but looking forward to the sleep when the time comes!

We did ec with both kids, and they both wake up when they have to pee. If that is the case (and may be if yours is nursing a lot at night), you may be able to catch her early and take her to the bathroom and/or change a diaper before she's fully awake. Also you may be able to gradually decrease the duration of each nursing session, so that even if she's waking at night she won't miss the calories.

[Shanny2032]

We were in a similar nursing pattern for night and naps. I honestly wouldn't wait because I would find it hard to relax and enjoy myself the 3 nights I was gone worrying about what was going on not just for the baby but your MIL. I am a single mother and nightweaned my daughter 21 months - about a month ago. It was not picnic for a few nights but not nearly as bad as I thought or as bad as previous attempts. I think she was just ready. The key is to not give in once you've started or you back track and basically have to start over. It isn't perfect but there have been some nights in the last few weeks where she has slept through the night completely. There are still times when she wakes up very mad and isn't easy to get back down but as a whole it has gone well and I am glad we did it and stuck it out this time. Good luck.