Originally Posted by kathteach
I read this article--I wish I could find it for you. I think it was in ReadyMade magazine. The author was a child in this kind of situation and if I remember correctly it broke his heart when the arrangement broke up after some years and he lost his "sisters."
What about it appeals to you? (I'm asking because I really want to know.)
The idea was not to have many more kids in this union. Perhaps just one more child, if any. The purpose of this union isn't having/raising more kids.
What appeals me? A lot, actually. First of all, as intellectually stimulating as my husband is for me (he is a VERY smart person, the smartest I have ever met, actually), he is not very stimulating for me physically. I am pretty advanced physically (martial arts, gymnastics, yoga, rock climbing, etc), I like extreme sports with adrenalin rushing through the blood. I need my partner to be able to challenge me at that, to be better than me, stronger than me when it comes to that matter, it is very important to me, as I realized recently. DH can not
. I also am tired from an old good--but boring--vanila sex (don't get me wrong, our intimacy is satisfying for me physically, but not emotionally for the reason I have mentioned earlier...I want intensity, I want my male partner (or one of my male partners, for that matter) to be able to give me this intensity. I want this wonderful sisters-like connection with another girl. It just all sounds very special.
Furthermore, I think a marriage of four is a much more ballanced relationship (or at least has a potential to be as such). For example, in a marriage of two, in the moments when you feel angry toward your husband or "sick and tired of him" you are there stuck in it, blowing all the anger and frustration right into his face. In the marriage of four, on the other hand, there are two more people to ballance individual arguments out both with their calm uninvolved (into this particular fight) energy as well as for example lituraly taking you for a night out and letting your steam go out in a healthy way instead of blowing it at the partner you are angry with. And of course when the girls are sick and tired of boys we can go have our own night out instead, ranting and venting about the boys to each other till we both feel much better
. And so on. Sleeping arrengements can be also thought in such a way that there will be a place to sleep for all of us, there will be also a bed for two or just a place for one person to crash if this is what one feels like doing. So it would really open up alot of freedome and sexual possibilities in this marriage.