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Should I have minded my own business? Drama - Page 4

post #61 of 89
Wow, you definitely did the right thing. I'm sorry meat mom is just not getting it, if she keeps pressing you and you want to try and explain, think of something she feels strongly about (religion, politics, etc.) and ask how she would feel if you went completely against her wishes behind her back? Not sure if this friendship will be salvageable since she isn't understanding why what she did is a big deal. Just because eating meat is not a big deal to her, it doesn't mean it isn't a big deal to others. Some folks have a harder time then others understanding that, though I think it is something we all struggle with to some extent.
post #62 of 89
I'm going to be the lone voice of dissent here -- just kidding. I agree with everyone else that you totally did the right thing.
post #63 of 89
you were right!
post #64 of 89
You did the right thing and you are a great friend! I am sorry there is drama.
post #65 of 89
Did Meat Mom say anything about whether the 3 year old likes meat? If not, you could say something like "If it's any consolation, I don't think he's accepted any meat, he didn't seem very interested and I think Meat Mom would have used it as a defense of her actions if he had." to Vegan Mom. That might help smooth things over?
post #66 of 89
Quote:
Originally Posted by mammal_mama View Post
I'm going to be the lone voice of dissent here -- just kidding. I agree with everyone else that you totally did the right thing.
LOL

You did the right thing OP! They are lucky to have a friend like you and hopefully meat mom will realize that
post #67 of 89
I think it's funny that she's been dubbed "Meat Mom"
post #68 of 89
Add my vote to the "you did the right thing" category.

Quote:
Originally Posted by EviesMom View Post
What meat mom did is exactly like feeding a Jewish child pork. It's just morally wrong. I can't imagine how anyone could do that on purpose! If she had held out a piece, and when you called her said "oh, shoot! What was I thinking?" and got the kids' actual food, then I would probably not have told, even if the kid ate a bite of the burger first. That to me is an accident, and when it's not an anaphylactic allergy, I think saving the friendship would be more important.
post #69 of 89


Were that my child, I would have been beyond livid.
post #70 of 89
You did the right thing.
post #71 of 89
what makes me angry OP is her reaction after you pointed out should she be feeding him meat. and even after you pointed it out she continued feeding him.

has she ever brought up her concerns about being vegan to the other mother. as much as i respect her concern for the little boys diet she has no right making the decision. the rolling of hte eyes totally shows disrespect towards the other mom's parenting rights. i mean just the fact that she is angry with you and calls you a tattler just shows what a fanatic she is - how stubborn she is.

however i dont 'blame' her for what she has done. there is soooo much misinformation in this meat based culture. to be vegan is just unimaginable by them. we rarely eat meat, and i hear this all the time. even though one is aware of people from india who have been vegetarians for generations - milk being the only animal product they eat and drink, people still dont trust that it could be a healthy choice. i just dont get that.

the best part about all this is it shows up her character. and there is no way i would trust her with respecting my wishes as a parent.
post #72 of 89
Quote:
Originally Posted by earthmama369 View Post
Anyone else kind of hoping the Meat Mom (*lol* love it) wanders in here and sees how universal the opinion is that she made an unethical choice? That it's not just the OP and Vegan Mom being uptight? If Meat Mom keeps her current attitude, she's going to keep running into problems. Time for her to admit she made a mistake and change her thinking a bit.
So true.

I kinda want a "Meat Mom" t-shirt though. I can't stop saying it. MEAT MOM!
post #73 of 89
Sometimes it's not easy to do the right thing, and the results aren't always pleasant - but the true mark of character is that a person does indeed do the right thing. I commend you for this, as you surely knew this wouldn't go well.

I am going to disagree with the observations that Meat Mom is embarressed. People only get embarressed in situations like this if they were caught doing something they felt was wrong, and she doesn't believe that her actions were improper. I'd guess that in her mind she was doing the "right" thing to "save" this child and you ratted her out and caused the drama. Clearly this is a load of bunk, and you did what any responsible friend would do.

What continues to strike me about this whole thing is that the Vegan Mom sent acceptable food with her child. I could see it if the other mom didn't realize something had meat in it or just didn't have anything else to feed him, but the food was already provided. That alone speaks of the dedication the Vegan Mom has to this diet, and to blatently disregard that is rude, insulting, potentially dangerous and very dishonorable. Her continued defense of her actions says that she doesn't get it and probably never will.

Speaking from experience, I doubt the 3 of you will be friends again. The Vegan Mom may move past it, but it won't be the same. This is not your fault for speaking up, but the fault of the Meat Mom who's actions and attitude were unacceptable. ((Hugs!)) I know this can't be an easy situation to be in the middle of, but you definitely did the right thing!
post #74 of 89
You know, i mentioned this thread to a friend (who i consider to be very intelligent) and she said "but don't you remember those kids that starved because their parents made them be vegan!?" and i vaguely did, so i looked it up. I notice that many stories of vegan children who starved their children make it into the news (and of course NONE of the thousands and thousands more who raise healthy, normal children on a vegan diet). Perhaps Meat Mom genuinely believes the child is suffering and needs the meat? Obviously that doesn't make it right that she would do it behind his mother's back!
post #75 of 89
FWIW: My DH (who is a HUGE carnivore!) agrees that you're in the right.
post #76 of 89
Quote:
Originally Posted by gbailey View Post
The vegan mom wants nothing to do with her. She's wondering if her son was given meat before and she feels violated and is extremely hurt.
That's how I felt when I found out my sister gave DS meat. He had been vegetarian his entire life and I saw her give him chicken nuggets when he was 2 1/2. I FLIPPED out. I was absolutely hurt and felt extremely violated that they would ignore such a simple thing. Really, it takes a few SECONDS extra effort to order a kids meal with just cheese and bread, like a cheeseburger with no meat. Sometimes you have to spell it out for the people because not everyone has the brains to understand what "no meat" means, but it's not THAT hard. I still wonder if they give him any. For me it wasn't just that they gave DS something that I didn't want him to have, it was that they completely and utterly disrespected me and a choice I made as his parent.

FWIW, I think you did the right thing, 100%. That's an incredible amount of disrespect, IMO, and I would want to know if someone was doing that.
post #77 of 89
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoBecGo View Post
You know, i mentioned this thread to a friend (who i consider to be very intelligent) and she said "but don't you remember those kids that starved because their parents made them be vegan!?" and i vaguely did, so i looked it up. I notice that many stories of vegan children who starved their children make it into the news (and of course NONE of the thousands and thousands more who raise healthy, normal children on a vegan diet). Perhaps Meat Mom genuinely believes the child is suffering and needs the meat? Obviously that doesn't make it right that she would do it behind his mother's back!
Nor do the cases of non-vegan parents with sick, unhealthy kids make it into the news. I once watched a child whose mom fed him SO poorly (he at fast food at LEAST once a day and the rest of his meals were processed crap, he seriously ate maybe 2% fruits and his only veggies were ones I purchased myself and stuck in a blender with eggs until they were finely chopped and mixed in and then made scrambled eggs so he didn't know). This child was sick at LEAST once a month (2-3 times a month was not uncommon at all)...his whole diaper area was raw from the constant diarrhea, he was always on antibiotics for one thing or another...this poor baby was being set up for a life of sickness and/or eating disorders. It broke my heart. And of course you NEVER hear stories like that on the news because everyone who eats like that turns out "just fine."
post #78 of 89
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoBecGo View Post
You know, i mentioned this thread to a friend (who i consider to be very intelligent) and she said "but don't you remember those kids that starved because their parents made them be vegan!?" and i vaguely did, so i looked it up. I notice that many stories of vegan children who starved their children make it into the news (and of course NONE of the thousands and thousands more who raise healthy, normal children on a vegan diet). Perhaps Meat Mom genuinely believes the child is suffering and needs the meat? Obviously that doesn't make it right that she would do it behind his mother's back!
Well, the only one I've heard of is where this tiny newborn died because the parents were soooo vegan they didn't feel they should feed Baby any animal milk, including human milk. I can't remember what vegan liquid they were feeding the baby, and I can't remember why they didn't at least do something like soy formula...

But this was just a case of complete idiocy, and it's so weird how cases like this become the "standard" thing some people think of when they hear that someone is vegan. I would imagine that most vegans would be very pro-natural living and pro-breastfeeding.
post #79 of 89
Quote:
Originally Posted by mammal_mama View Post
Well, the only one I've heard of is where this tiny newborn died because the parents were soooo vegan they didn't feel they should feed Baby any animal milk, including human milk. I can't remember what vegan liquid they were feeding the baby, and I can't remember why they didn't at least do something like soy formula...

But this was just a case of complete idiocy, and it's so weird how cases like this become the "standard" thing some people think of when they hear that someone is vegan. I would imagine that most vegans would be very pro-natural living and pro-breastfeeding.
I think I'm thinking of the same story...they were giving the baby nothing but soy milk or something...
post #80 of 89
I think you did the right thing.I would want to know.I am pretty lax with restrictions,so if the kids have anyone over I ask the parents what food is ok.I also restrict tv/games that many parents would probably not allow.

I am wondering how meat mom(I see now someone coined it already!) would feel if the vegan toddler got ecoli from the meat and died.Eating meat totally changes the gut flora.

I am not a vegan/veggie but I did stop eating meat for 3 months and it TOTALLY changed my blood test results.Diet DOES affect your health.

I would probably cut my ties with the mom as I would not feel comfortable leaving my kids with her even if she did apologise.
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