Will this even be worth it?

[haurelia]

Just want some mamas to weigh in:

I have a 20 month old boy who wakes to nurse 1-3 times at night. He has all teeth but for the second molars. He eats like a horse, and drinks lots of water during the day. He has slept through the night once in his life. I have been committed to child-led weaning, and while I've been thinking about night-weaning, I haven't made any steps in that direction.

However, I am going to be staying with him at my sister's house in late November, leading up to her birth, and staying for a week or two postpartum. She's birthing in a hospital, and so, if our timing works and I am there for labor and birth, my DS will stay behind at sister's house with our mom. My DH will not be there except for one long weekend (Thanksgiving). I'm not too worried about this--DS will be fine during the daytime (he's been known to go 6-8 hours without nursing or my presence in the daytime). But at night, not so much. He needs nursing to go back to sleep with night wake-ups. Even if I'm not there, papa can't really soothe him back to sleep.

So, I want to try to ensure that he'll STTN while I'm there. Crazy plan? I figure I have 2 months to work on it, and I have the Gordon book with his plan. I am a little worried that if I get him night-weaned that travel to a new house with strange stuff happening will just lead to him needing night nursing again, thus putting all the work of night-weaning down the toilet.

I trust my mom to soothe him and care for him, but just don't want trauma for my LO while I'm away helping my sister with her birthing. What should I do?? I'm reluctant to bite the bullet and night-wean because I sense it will give us some reallly bad nights. But, if it works, great. And really, even if there's some crying and upset that one night (if it even works out that I'm away at night), is that really bad overall?

Sorry if this is rambly, just hoping for some advice. Thanks in advance to all who reply.

[LadyCatherine185]

We nightweaned around 19/20 months using the Jay Gordon plan, but took it a little slower. It went great. No crying, just a little fussing, and my hourly waker started only waking up 1-2 times a night.. and would go back to sleep WITHOUT nursing. He now STTN almost every night. I thought it would be tough and traumatic, but it was easy and smooth. He was ready. JME, hope it helps.

[kdaisy]

My two year old was a frequent night nurser all while I was pregnant. I, too, was afraid of night weaning (I still am), he went crazy if it was ever withheld. I had a hospital birth and was really worried about him having a traumatic experience when I was in the hospital, not being able to nurse at night or even to sleep. Turns out, he was fine. My mom soothed him to sleep the first night and he slept all night after DH came home around 1 am. The next night he fell asleep with DH on the couch and slept all night again!

Even when I came home, he slept all night for a few nights. But, those days are gone and he is back to nursing all night. (My 2 mo sleeps better than he does.)

So, I guess my opinion is don't worry to much about it. Nightwean if you want, but you may not need to go through the bother of it. HTH

[julie80]

Here's the funny thing that happened to me...

My son has been a night nursing co sleeper since about 3 months when I got tired of getting up in the middle of the night to nurse. And he's quite the attached little one who will not go to sleep for me unless nursing.

Well, I was at my inlaws and they told us to get out of the house and have some time for ourselves and that they would put him down to sleep.

I was quite hesitant at first because I knew he was going to have such a hard time but I finally gave in and left.

Guess what???

Apparently he went down without a problem for her and has many times since. I figured out that it was just me. When he's with me he still demands to be to nursed to sleep.

[haurelia]

Thanks ladies!

Originally Posted by LadyCatherine185

...I thought it would be tough and traumatic, but it was easy and smooth. He was ready. JME, hope it helps.

Did you think he was ready before you started, or do you think he was ready because it went easily? If he seemed ready before you started, what made you think so? I'm not convinced DS is ready, mainly because he's still soooo nursing-oriented and very angry if denied. He's hard to even distract sometimes if he's hell-bent on nursing during the day.

Originally Posted by kdaisy

...So, I guess my opinion is don't worry to much about it. Nightwean if you want, but you may not need to go through the bother of it. HTH

This is what my DH said too, when we talked about it. He thinks DS will probably be fine without the bother of night weaning. Upon thinking about it a lot, I think he will be fine too and just adjust to whatever the situation is. One of the great things about having a very secure child due to AP, right?

Originally Posted by julie80

...Apparently he went down without a problem for her and has many times since. I figured out that it was just me. When he's with me he still demands to be to nursed to sleep.

My mom has actually gotten DS to nap on her own too, and DH can put him to sleep if I'm not here. I do think there's a lot to do with my presence that affects the situation. DH says he usually doesn't ever ask to nurse when I'm not in the house, just asks to "dink."

My gut right now says not to mess with it and that he'll night wean when he's ready, and just be prepared for a possible rough night while we're there. I suppose Mom could always have a bottle of cow's milk for him as a stopgap soother...he doesn't get bottles now, but had them (with BM) when he was a baby and I was WOH.
Thanks again for weighing in!

[LadyCatherine185]

I sort of "tested" the waters to see if he was ready... Like he would wake up to nurse and I tried "shhh"ing him back to sleep, and a few times he would actually go back to sleep without nursing... if he fussed a lot I went ahead and nursed him, but unlatched him after 10-15 seconds and "shhh" and he would go back to sleep. I just continued this more and more and letting him nurse less and less and he started sleeping better.. It took about a month to fully nightwean this way... But like I said, before starting he was still waking every hour or so. I think he got into the "habit" (though I hate to use that word) and got used to getting those calories at night. And I think since I took a slow and gentle approach, it worked well. Also, I knew he was "ready" because he was very verbal and understood everything I said, as well has having a vocabulary around 200 words by that age.