MIL Demanding to Know When I'll Wean

[martiesmom]

I'm sure others have been through it too, but it seems like know that DD is approaching her first birthday MIL asks me about everyday when I'm going to wean. It's so tiresome. Then she wants to to know if I can just put her on cow's milk as soon as she turns one. I informed her that even formula fed children aren't automatically switched to cow's milk. MIL and her daughters FF. I'm not even going to give cow's milk, I'm planning on soy b/c I think it's sweeter like bm.

Should I tell her that I'll nurse dd until college, unless I can stay at the dorms with her. Why is it her business in the first place. Arrrgh! Why is she so obsessed with breastfeeding?

Thanks for letting my vent.

[williamsmommy2002]

I would just tell her you have no plans to in the immediate future. If she kept going on about it, I would tell her it wasn't really any of her concern. Maybe if you got straight to the point, she would back off. My mil thinks me still nursing is crazy. However, she knows nothing is going to cahnge soon so she accepts it.

[jeca]

I had to telll my grandma this verty thing just today. I will let her wean herself. [well she{s already one[ says grandma. oh but that{s the beauty of breastmilk unlike cow{s milk mine doesn{t expire. it shut her up for a little while.

my keyboard is acting funky.

[polka hop]

*

[1Plus2]

Tell your MIL that you weaned years ago! :LOL

[Geofizz]

Have you introduced solid foods yet?

My current favorite:

"We've already started the weaning process."

[RachelGS]

Grrr. Sorry, Sonia. I agree-- just give it to her straight. Now that Abogail is creeping up on two, the number of people who think I'm totally crazy to still be nursing has risen substantially. I find that a level look right in the eye and a firm comment that Abby will wean when she's ready and not before goes a long way. And it's all worth it! Yesterday she climbed in my lap and said, "I LOVE nurse you." How sweet is that?!

[AnnMarie]

Originally posted by 1Plus2
Tell your MIL that you weaned years ago! :LOL

:LOL I like that one.

I wouldn't be nice about it, but that's just me, well and because my MIL can't stand me and she's no picnic either. :LOL Anyway, I would tell her that it's between my child and myself and she needs to stop asking me about it because it's none of her business. Then if she asked again I would just ignore her. :LOL

[MissinNYC]

I'd just laugh and say, "oh you know better than to ask me a question like that!" pretty elusive and makes her feel foolish, perhaps, without being really rude.

[martiesmom]

Originally posted by RachelGS
And it's all worth it! Yesterday she climbed in my lap and said, "I LOVE nurse you." How sweet is that?!

Rachel:

That's so sweet. I can't believe how long its taken for me to realize that this is you. LOL. The slightly different screen name fooled me a little I guess.

Sonia

[mom2tig99Nroo03]

awwwww rachel that is sweet..

to the op, it depends, is this the only issue you and mil dont see eye-to-eye on? is she a "facts-n-figures" kinda gal, does she think doctors are gods?

[zaftigmama]

My in-laws are dying to know when I'm going to wean. Based on the number of times they ask, it may be the most important thing they don't yet know. I have recently started saying, "I'm guessing she'll be weaned sometime before she starts highschool, but nothings's definite..."

It really irritates them, because it doesn't answer the question. When pushed, I ask why they even care, and then we usually argue. I'm called defensive, they're called nosy and rude, and it gets unpleasant. But, I think they could tell it bothered me and I was never sure how to answer. They love that. So, now that I evade them, don't care, and don't get rattled, they're not having as much fun. Maybe one day they'll stop asking.

I think hearing a child say, "I love nurse you" is one of the sweetest things ever. Halle told an older man in the grocery store that she nurses at night, and Ari nurses 'alla time.' He had no idea how to respond. I thought it was cute she wanted to talk about it with strangers.

Funny how much it bothers people when we choose to parent differently, even though what we do, doesn't affect anyone but our kids.

Take care,

[martiesmom]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by mom2tig99Nroo03
awwwww rachel that is sweet..

to the op, it depends, is this the only issue you and mil dont see eye-to-eye on? is she a "facts-n-figures" kinda gal, does she think doctors are gods? [/QUOTE

I don't know if MIL is either one. She keeps inferring to me that there is something wrong with nursing a toddler. Kind of along the lines if a child can ask to be nursed then they are too old. She always says something about Susan St. James nursing her kids until they were 10 and asking if I'll do that. I don't know how nursing a 11 month old is anywhere close to 10 years old.

I think MIL thinks that she's the know it all of child rearing. She harps on my SIL for giving her 2 year old a bottle of milk (cows) at night.

[mom2tig99Nroo03]

you could either a) point her to any of the studies from dettwyler or newman, or the who..

tell her you are being selfish and nursing *just to reduce your chances of cancer,

or that you are just doing preventative maintencae on her gut, or...

[RachelGS]

LOL, Sonia! I didn't realize you didn't know it was me. You're in good company, girl. You won't believe what happens to your heart when Martie tells you how much nursing means to her. You'll want to bottle it and hand it to all your detractors. There's no amount of know-it-all-ness that can even come close to the power of that.

[rareimer]

here are some good responses.

http://www.rosenbaumcreative.com/responses.html

[Little Bear's Mama]

More good responses...
www.lalecheleague.org/FAQ/criticism.html
http://www.wiessinger.baka.com/bfing...s/whatsay.html

[martiesmom]

Thanks for the links. I think the "When my milk dries up" is the perfect response that I'm looking for.

[Court]

You know, when I see a title like this post, I think to myself "oh this child must be 3 or 4." And when I see that she's not even 1 yet, that just floors me that anyone would be "demanding" to know when she'll be weaned. I guess cause I'm nursing a 25 mo. old, 11 mo. old seems so young. If you want to say something to her I think the fact that a child is at increased risk of illness if weaned before 2 is a good one (AAP?) I think raising a child takes enough energy that we shouldn't have to spend time explaining and educating nay-sayers though. It's really none of her business.

[seraph]

I haven't gotten this question yet, but my DD is one and my in laws are visiting this weekend... we'll see what happens. She just seems like such a little one yet... I can't imagine weaning her at a year. Or two.