My mom was a SAHM/housewife *primarily* for her entire adult life. Or so it kind of seemed to me, but in fact she was my father's business partner and worked alongside him in most of the businesses he ran. Not all, because she is disabled (CP), so she didn't do much on the farm when they had one, for example.
I held a few fairly-low-paying but interesting jobs over the years -- armed security, QA at a call center, medical assistant (acting as an RN, probably not legally) at a clinic for disadvantaged youth and brand new immigrants to the US, ESL tutor, etc. Otherwise, I was a SAHM for most of my life.
Then I discovered somewhat accidentally that I could write and edit others' writing, and make a nice living off of it, so my husband became a SAHD for a few years. But then for various reasons (my health, my husband's difficulty with homeschooling), we decided to reverse roles again, and now I'm the SAH parent and he's finishing off the last semester of his degree and will be going back to work early next year.
I never went to college -- or as I like to say, I unschooled college -- but found a lot of opportunities for interesting and rewarding work, anyway. I did consider college and medical school at one point and decided against it because my family matters more to me than my career and it would have been a real hardship on everyone. No regrets.
My DD (6) doesn't seem to have much in the way of gender roles established in her mind and I hope it stays that way. My parents managed to raise me very gender-neutrally and I hope I can do the same. Even my very old, very old-fashioned father (he's a WWII vet) supported the idea of me doing many "typically male" things I thought about doing when I grew up.
As for DD, I'll be happy with whatever she chooses to do with her life. I do hope that if she has a career while she has young children, she will live near DH and I and will let us care for her kids while she's at work instead of sending them to daycare.
Interestingly, she's never expressed a desire to be a SAHM but she is adamant that her kids will be homeschooled or will go to a really great private school. In fact, for the last year or so, her aspiration has been to open her own private school, which she describes as something like a Sudbury school. As for kids, she plans to adopt older (4-6 year old) children from India and enroll them in her school.
I think it's a cool idea and would be thrilled if she really does this, but I know she'll probably change her mind a million times before she grows up.
Before that, she wanted to be a marine biologist, or to hold a bunch of different interesting jobs like her grandpa. He's a WWII vet and was a barber, a vice detective, and owned at least a dozen different businesses -- all successful -- through the years. For a while she wanted to "write articles" like me.
If she decides to "just" be a SAHM, I'd be fine with that, too. Everyone in my family has had kids at an early age (19ish) and it doesn't seem like a big deal to me, but I think not everyone is ready at that age... I don't know, maybe it's a product of how people are raised today. Certainly it wasn't that long ago that having children at 16-18 was the norm for women, and I think they did alright as parents.
Of course it's so much better that women today have choices, but I don't think that *obligates* them to choose a career, either. The point is choice. Same with men, SAHDs rock!
So I'd be happy with whatever my DD chooses when she grows up, but I think I would be kind of sad if she put her children in daycare at 6 weeks old...
--K
I held a few fairly-low-paying but interesting jobs over the years -- armed security, QA at a call center, medical assistant (acting as an RN, probably not legally) at a clinic for disadvantaged youth and brand new immigrants to the US, ESL tutor, etc. Otherwise, I was a SAHM for most of my life.
Then I discovered somewhat accidentally that I could write and edit others' writing, and make a nice living off of it, so my husband became a SAHD for a few years. But then for various reasons (my health, my husband's difficulty with homeschooling), we decided to reverse roles again, and now I'm the SAH parent and he's finishing off the last semester of his degree and will be going back to work early next year.
I never went to college -- or as I like to say, I unschooled college -- but found a lot of opportunities for interesting and rewarding work, anyway. I did consider college and medical school at one point and decided against it because my family matters more to me than my career and it would have been a real hardship on everyone. No regrets.
My DD (6) doesn't seem to have much in the way of gender roles established in her mind and I hope it stays that way. My parents managed to raise me very gender-neutrally and I hope I can do the same. Even my very old, very old-fashioned father (he's a WWII vet) supported the idea of me doing many "typically male" things I thought about doing when I grew up.
As for DD, I'll be happy with whatever she chooses to do with her life. I do hope that if she has a career while she has young children, she will live near DH and I and will let us care for her kids while she's at work instead of sending them to daycare.
Interestingly, she's never expressed a desire to be a SAHM but she is adamant that her kids will be homeschooled or will go to a really great private school. In fact, for the last year or so, her aspiration has been to open her own private school, which she describes as something like a Sudbury school. As for kids, she plans to adopt older (4-6 year old) children from India and enroll them in her school.
I think it's a cool idea and would be thrilled if she really does this, but I know she'll probably change her mind a million times before she grows up.
Before that, she wanted to be a marine biologist, or to hold a bunch of different interesting jobs like her grandpa. He's a WWII vet and was a barber, a vice detective, and owned at least a dozen different businesses -- all successful -- through the years. For a while she wanted to "write articles" like me.
If she decides to "just" be a SAHM, I'd be fine with that, too. Everyone in my family has had kids at an early age (19ish) and it doesn't seem like a big deal to me, but I think not everyone is ready at that age... I don't know, maybe it's a product of how people are raised today. Certainly it wasn't that long ago that having children at 16-18 was the norm for women, and I think they did alright as parents.
Of course it's so much better that women today have choices, but I don't think that *obligates* them to choose a career, either. The point is choice. Same with men, SAHDs rock!
So I'd be happy with whatever my DD chooses when she grows up, but I think I would be kind of sad if she put her children in daycare at 6 weeks old...
--K
. It just give me dim hope for my girls. Sorry to be a pessimist!
