Originally Posted by jee'smom
mamarabbit~ i think i remember reading your birth story. i LOVE reading uc stories and twins ones are even more fascinating!!! i can't imagine going through the pushing phase twice.
medicinemansgirl~ thank you so much for typing all of that out! i'm glad you're getting rest! i struggled with not wanting to get pg in the first year (not knowing i couldn't anyway!), b/c i didn't want to lose my milk (i truly believe mamas milk is best for babies), and leaving it to God to choose how many children and when they were to come to us. i ended up choosing to keep my milk until after 1 yr, and then becoming lax about dtd. i ended up getting pg and losing my milk, but they were old enough at that point to just dry nurse, and then tandem with the next baby. so as soon as you get pg and lose your milk, you just put them on formula? doesn't that upset their tummies? or do you mix the two for some time until you lose your milk? (again, i'm asking b/c i've always wanted to know and people get offended when you ask these questions. i'm one of those insanely curious people about the workings of the human body- i'm an anatomy and physiology professor. i really appreciate you taking the time to answer my questions.).
i also think it's awesome that you have the patience to have so many kids. i will accept whatever God gives me (although dh is DONE, but never got the V), but sometimes when the kids are all fighting or whatever, i feel like i can't handle it all, and i only have 3! people think i was nuts to get pg with the third, can you imagine?!!! when i announced my third pg, my brother said to me "well, it's ok this time, but it will be a f***ing disaster if you get pg again." disaster?!!! i told him that a tornado ripping our home away or me getting breast cancer would be a disaster, not having another baby, and that i happen to feel very blessed. i'm hoping for another lately, dh says no. but when you use only the withdrawal system (hasn't failed us in 14 years!) i'd think that eventually you'll get "burnt". his problem is that he feels that he wouldn't be able to give them the individual time that children need. i guess i can understand that, but i really feel that we need to accept all children that God wants to give us. we'll see...
take care! rest up mama!!!
We defintely had some major opposition to overcome wen we chose to keep going....especially with dh's parents. They thought we shouldn't have had #3 and when I ended up pregnant with twins after her they pitched a fit. So, when #6 came along only 9 months after they were born we just didn't even bother telling them. They found out through the grapevine when I was 20 wks and we already knew he was a boy. It embarrassed them to death to not be in the know but after that we just set some boundaries and established the fact we aren't going to put up with opinions and the absolute pessimism they spewed from their mouths. They still quietly disagree though they love the chidlren dearly. And we get ALL kinds of opinions frm the general public...mostly good ones but then you always seem to get the ones that look at chidren in general in utter disgust. After awhile wej ust got really used to it. We just laugh it off now and it's actually become pretty amusing. But, for the most part...I think once we had #7 there really has been very little negative feedback. People usually comment on how well behaved they are, want to know ages and then continue on. It's a good place to be after quite a few years of appalling and shocking comments. LOL!
As for the breastfeeding, I don't ever have enough to both pump and feed baby. Whatever I have is always going into the babby and there's not much to stock up on. It is frustrating....very very frustrating. When my milk begins to dry up it is an entirely hard transition and we usually go through a period where they asbolutely refuse to take a bottle and there's just nothing left to nurse them with. This is with having tried every herbal natural homeopathic remedy in the book. I've taken them all. It lasts about 2 weeks and it's a misreable, heart wrenching 2 weeks. I found that 9 months is usually a good age to make the transition with little to no fuss but anything earlier than that is just stressful for everybody. So, this time I've already talked to a lactation consultant. During this pregnancy we actually discovered my thyroid level is on the low end of the normal range and this probably is contributing to low milk supply to begin with. So, we're going to trouble shoot a little. I'm desperate enough that I've already decided I'll take domperidone if it just starts to fall off like it has in the past. It's worth it to me. So, I figure we'll go the natural route and really working on boosting it up in the beginning to hopefully hold it there but, if not, I can resort to that. Hopefully this will hold the supply up there during another pregnancy also. We'll see. I also found that when I took any kind of b/c it almost immediately dried up my supply just like being pregnant does. All the lovely things your dr never tells you. I started back on the pill when #2 was only 6 wks old and was clueless as to why I lost all of my milk. It wasn't until years later I discovered this is one of the hallmark symptoms of the pill. Ugh. Anyway, for now, I just nurse exclusively until I am pregnant again and then it just dries up on its own and we switch to goat's milk.
As for the one on one time...I've actually found that we spend more time together as a family than what a normal family does. When we only had a few we watched much more TV and stayed entertained by "stuff" so much more of the time. With this many we don't even watch TV and have to scale down on what things we have to entertain due to budget constraints. THey also spend lots and lots more time outside rather than inside in front of screens and things that entertain that way. So, though it is not one on one time, per say, the children actually get much more parent oriented time than they ever did when we had just 3. It definitely changes your perspective and brings to light what the American standard of living is vs what is really bringing a family closer together and creating quality time. And I think once you get to this point you just find time for one on one. I get to where i look for opportunities. Since dh has 24 hr shifts I alternate nights with the oldest 3 and let them stay up with me after everyone else goes to bed. We talk, read, watch a movie together or whatever...just that one child. Funny enough, they are the ones always requesting another sibling or 2 or 3 get in on the party. So, it usually ends up being about 3 kids instead of just the one I started with. When I was having prenatal appts I'd alternate and take just one of them with me and we'd make a lunch date out of it. You can just always find a way...and I"ve found that this many just creates such a closer bond between all of the family members. They're all needed to make it all run and be on time anywhere so they each have thier place and are confident in their spot in the family and the fact they are very much wanted, needed and appreciated for the help that is required of them.
I know the large family is not for everyone but for those who do get to experience it, it's an amazing thing. The dynamic of it never ceases to amaze me. I think it grows each individual in the family, including each parent, into a much better person who's been taught to respect others and look so much farther than themselves.