What's Going On and What am I Doing Wrong?

[ThankfulMama]

DD is 15mos. She has been waking up in the middle of the night M.A.D. if I don't instantly latch her on she will kick, scream, hit, scratch, flail, you name it. I initially wondered if she was still asleep so we would end up turning on the light and then working on calming her, but it did not make much of a difference. I am trying to gently ease off a bit of all night nursing, but I'm not sure it is 100% related to nursing. For example, DH got up in the middle of the night and she started to get upset even though I was still with her. She does the same if I get up. I usually hold her or sit near her and let her work through it, but if she's kicking me or hurting me I tell her that's not OK and that mama needs to step back so I feel safe. I just don't know, and the longer this lasts the more I question whether I am doing the right thing. I *think* she understands about me stepping away because when I do, she gets more upset but then when I ask if we can try again with soft touches she frequently calms down. I just don't know!

Please help! I not feeling very confident about my mama skills. suggestions? BTDTs?

ETA-Just realized maybe this would be better in nighttime parenting. . . (??)

[entiti]

Aww, sorry to hear this.

I went through the same thing with my dd (now 20 months)around the same age. Teething really set us back in the nursing all night department. We had a really bad night one night, hours of both of us bawling, fighting, throwing tantrums for 'boobies'. She just wouldn't give up, so around dawn I just gave her what she wanted. The next morning I raced to the nearest LLL meeting, and poured my heart out!
It finally came down to the fact that she just wasn't ready to night wean. The trouble it took not nursing her, and the fight she put up was just not worth it. So, I gritted my teeth and nursed her when she wanted to, and of course it was under five minutes before she was passed out, and I could go back to sleep each time.

I tried a couple of months later to implement a night weaning plan, by asking her to lay her head down next to mommy, and telling her 'boobies going night-night', and she fussed for a sec, and laid her head down and said a stern NIGHT-NIGHT! And she was sleep

Now, I let her nurse once a night, and she pretty much sleeps the rest of the time.
Sounds like she just may not be ready to part with night time nursing just yet. When she is, it won't be so hard on you both. It's such a touchy time at this age, you may just want to give her what she wants until she gets over this hump.
This WON'T last forever, hope you both find peace....and sleep!

Good luck, mama!

[crunchy_mommy]

I wish I knew. DS doesn't hit/kick but he does get very very mad if he wakes up & I don't latch him immediately. Any attempt at cutting back night nursing (which I do want to do because he wakes as often as every 10 minutes these days) results in hysterical screaming.

[belltree]

I've had a similar situation a couple months back. At that time it turned out my child had a bad ear infection and was in pain, I just hadn't read his symptoms right and I felt aweful after realzing.

Another thought might be a growth spurt she is going through?

It so hard not to be able to help, when our children are sad or angry.

[ThankfulMama]

Thanks so much for the support and feedback. I just don't know.

I guess 'll try to ride it out. It is good to hear that I'm not in it alone.

[Honey693]

DD went through that around 21-22 months. I still have no idea what it was, but it eventually ended.

[ThankfulMama]

Thanks. It helps to know that she's not the only one.

Yesterday I started to wonder if it might be related to molars (gums swollen). . .

[CrunchyChristianMama]

My DD went through a stage where she would throw a fit like that and no amount of reasoning or trying to figure out what was going on would help. I would usually just step back for a while and let her do her thing and then go back to trying to calm her down. Thankfully it was a relatively short-lived phase. Hopefully it will be for you as well!

[Super~Single~Mama]

Originally Posted by ThankfulMama

Thanks. It helps to know that she's not the only one.

Yesterday I started to wonder if it might be related to molars (gums swollen). . .

I think definitely. Molars are HORRIBLE and they were literally the most awful teething we have EVER had and I HATE MOLARS!! I mean, I know they're important and all, but why can't kids just be born with the stupid things?

Have you tried tylenol or motrin before bed? That REALLY helped our nighttime issues during the molars. I hate to overmedicate, and I'm really cautious about it, but we couldn't get through the molars without either tylenol or motrin right before bedtimes every.single.night. Once they came through we didn't have any problems - but they were MISERABLE and the bane of my existence until they came through.

[ThankfulMama]

Thanks!

I realized today that she hasn't been wearing her amber necklace so I will try to get it back on regularly (here's hoping). We can't do meds as she is corn intolerant. . .