Tell me good things about 3 year spacing between kids - Page 2

[sarafi]

double post

[Marylizah]

My boys are about 3 years 8 months apart and it's a great spacing for us.

DS1 was potty-trained, sleeping through the night, weaned and in pre-school when DS2 was born. There has been basically no jealousy, there's lots of love both ways. DS1 understands and communicates really well, and he is at the age where being a "big boy" is really important to him. He likes feeling bigger than his little brother.

Physically, emotionally, mentally and financially we weren't able to do a closer spacing. I was worried that the sibling relationship would suffer, but honestly I think those relationships are more dependent on personalities than on spacing.

GL to you!

[shnitzel]

We will probably also have a 3 year gap, and I too would have preferred a smaller gap. What I do find comforting is that both DH and I have about a 3 year difference with our own sibling and we are both really extremely close to our sibling. It sound like a huge gap when comparing a newborn to a 3 year old but my sister and I played and bonded and supported each other, and were definitely closer than a lot of our friends who had siblings closer in age. Now at 20 and 23 the gap isn`t even really there anymore. We are both married and DD will have a cousing 18 months younger than her

[transylvania_mom]

we have a 4 and 1/2 year gap between ds and dd... it wasn't planned that way but it works great for us. Ds was an avid nurser and a poor sleeper when he was little... we managed to CLW when he was 4. Tandem nursing would have been difficult for me and I'm glad he was a full-term nurser.
Now he's in full time kindergarten and I have all day at home with baby dd... we go to playgroups and swimming lessons and we can be at home for her naps, without having to worry about ds's activities.

They get along great because they're not sharing the same toys. When the baby bugs ds sometimes, he can just go to his room, close the door and play by himself for a while. He's a great helper too...

Good luck with your decision

[lorijds]

My daughters are three years apart, and it's awesome. Starting when the youngest was about a year old, they played together very, very well. When the oldest turned 11, she started to outgrow "playing", and by the time she was 12 or 13, while they were friendly to each other, they were just at such different developmental ages, they weren't really friends who hung out. Now that they are 15 and 12, they are growing closer again, have similar interests, and have started doing things together again (independent of us). As in, my oldest daughter was going to ride her bike downtown to go shoe shopping, and completely unbidden she asked her sister if she wanted to go with her. That sort of thing.

My husband is younger than his brother by 3 years, and they were very close as young kids and again starting in high school (similar to what I'm seeing in my own children). He and his older brother lived together during college and grad school, and later in life, for about 10 years our families both lived in the same town and they were the best of friends. They probably saw or talked to each other almost every day and would hang out together when they both had free time. They moved across the country several months ago, and I see the hole that this has left in my husband's life. He misses him a lot, even though they talk on the phone at least once a week and facebook each other regularly. He's 40 years old and he misses his brother terribly!!!

So I'd say, yes, three years is fine. In my experience there is about a 3-4 year time period where developmentally they are just too far apart, but once the youngest hits middle school, they reconnect and continue to seek out and enjoy each others' company.

[justKate]

Hey OP, we're in the same position. I always thought my kids would be close in age, but with DD approaching two and being terrible (and wonderful, too, of course), we're now looking at more of a 3-4 year age gap. And that's fine, because it is what will work for our whole family (not just me).

My brother is 2 yr. 3 mos. younger than me, and we HATED each other growing up. Adding him to our family was incredibly traumatic for me (my first memory). Although we're close now, and he lived with me and Huz for a while after he finished college, there's no guarantee that kids close in age will get along. I think the best age gap is the one that works best for all of the members of the family.