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mdc nightweaning stats (or something like that)

Poll Results: my NIGHTWEANED (but not fully weaned) little one is:

 
  • 5% (4)
    12-18 mo and sleeps in bed with me
  • 4% (3)
    12-18 mo and sleeps in the same room as me
  • 18% (13)
    12-18 mo and sleeps in a separate room
  • 15% (11)
    18-24 mo and sleeps in bed with me
  • 5% (4)
    18-24 mo and sleeps in the same room as me
  • 14% (10)
    18-24 mo and sleeps in a separate room
  • 36% (26)
    24+ mo
71 Total Votes  
post #1 of 22
Thread Starter 
i think it's time to nightwean so that i don't give up on breastfeeding altogether, but i feel like i'm quitting... giving up... failing. and i don't even know how it'll work.
i guess i just wanted some perspective, see where other folks are at.
post #2 of 22
The baby is still nursing throughout the night, so I answered based on when my dd was nightweaned.
post #3 of 22
I never iniciated nightweaning and my kiddos nightweaning by themselves and 2 1/2 yo and 2 respectively. We also co-sleeping., my first was high need baby, my second not.
post #4 of 22
My first DD was nightweaned around 15 months (had a baby due not long after and couldn't see night nursing both). Ds1 was nightweaned closer to 18 months. Both stayed in bed w/us until after they turned 2.
post #5 of 22
my son nightweaned out of necessity at about 18 months. i was in the hospital for a week, and couldnt nurse at all. he was cosleeping with my sister at the time. hed been starting to sleep through the night more before that, but thats what ended it. when i got out of the hospital, he picked up day nursing again, though less frequently (about 3 times a day), but not really at night.

oh, he turns 3 next week, self weaned at 2yrs 10 months, and we still co sleep
post #6 of 22
i nightweaned mine around 2yo, as that is when i had another baby.

if you feel that you need to nightwean, but continue nursing, how is that "giving up"? you need to do what you need to do, for your own sanity. you're not "giving up"!!! i nightweaned my dd2 at around 2 1/2 and was SO glad that i did. it was getting to the point that i was totally dreading nighttime, b/c i knew my sleep would be interrupted (at the time i was nursing for 7 years straight, including night-nursing.) so i made the decision to night-wean and was so glad i did!!!
post #7 of 22
I never tried to night wean. That is when my active, curious kiddos needed the most to eat since they were generally too busy during the day to nurse until satiated. My youngest daughter self-weaned two months before she turned three years old. My older daughter was also quite the heavy night time nurser until well past the age of 30 months. Since they are only 14 months apart in age, I was dual nursing for quite some time, and I guided them toward taking turns after the age of two-ish. Yes, I was a regular milk machine of love for over four years, day and night.

ETA: We all coslept until this summer when we were finally able to afford a bunkbed, which sits right next to our bed and they still sometimes crawl into bed with us.
post #8 of 22
I nightweaned my 13 month old and it has been great for both of us. He now sleeps through the night on a lot of nights or just wakes up once. For me, I now do not feel like I'm going crazy. I am a refreshed focused good calm mother. My baby went from being very moody and demanding to fun and energetic. I think he wasn't getting the sleep he needed before we nightweaned. DH helped a lot in the process, comforting DS and trying to get him to sleep without nursing. It was a lot of work for DH but now the three of all get sleep and we're all so much happier.

You are not giving up or quiting. You're still breastfeeding in the day. If you child is anything like mine, he'll just switch his eating from the night to the day where it belongs. I have a very opinionated boy and he did cry for 2hrs with DS when I wouldn't feed him and then he went to sleep, but get this. Little man when it was morning and I tried to nurse him, suddenly wasn't hungry and ran off to play instead. So, that helped me realize that he was just eating at night because it felt good, not because he needed to eat. I find that toddlers do not eat a lot and they certainly can eat all the need to in the day with a lot of coaxing, but that won't happen until they are encouraged to not eat at night.

I know it may feel like a failure now, but it's most certainly not. Everybody will benefit from it and you'll be a better mom to your child when you have the energy to give all of yourself to them. Do what you feel is right because as you know, it will take work and probably even more lost sleep in the process, so you have to be firm in what you decide.
post #9 of 22
my vote would be other.

When DS was 12 months, we put our hide-a-bed mattress on the floor in his room and I spent half the night with him in there (sometimes the whole night depending on how hard I slept or how much nursing he seemed to want to do). At around 17/18 months, we got a regular full sized bed set up in his room. By Thanksgiving of last year (so he would have been about 21 months), I started working on nightweaning him.

But I can't answer any of your vote options b/c he spends most of the night in his bed, but then usually crawls in with us in the wee hours of the morning. And usually when he does, he asks to nurse. I tell him that the nursies are sleeping and that when they wake up in the morning, he can nurse. Usually, that's enough for him and he rolls over and goes back to sleep. Then if he wants to, I will start letting him nurse at 5:00 AM (due to work/daycare schedules, we all have to be up by 5:30 on weekdays). If he's sick, then I will let him nurse at night.

So, at 31 months, he is nightweaned, but he isn't. And he sleeps part time in his bed and part time in our bed.
post #10 of 22
My daughter is 27 months. We co-slept until shortly after her 2nd birthday. We moved her to her own bed just a few days after her birthday. That effectively nightweaned her. While we were co-sleeping, there just wasn't any way. She was old enough to help herself. And even if she wasn't helping herself, I would automatically offer the breast when she fussed in her sleep. She has taken to the process very well. In fact, I couldn't believe how easy it was since we'd been doing the bulk of our breastfeeding at night for the past several months prior to that.

I think it's best/ easiest to wait until the time is right. But you won't know if it is until you try. My daughter was a VERY willing nighttime nurser. The first night I laid her in her own bed, I thought there was no way she was going to go for it. She needed her boobs! But she did so well. That's not to say that she never wakes up in the middle of the ni8ght to ask for boobies. She still does sometimes. But I find that if I feed her closer to bedtime, or if I offer her a small snack (possibly in addition to a little nursing) right before bed, then she is much more likely to sleep the whole night through. Perhaps that might be something to try if you're going to continue co-sleeping too. You could offer her a snack and one final nursing session, then wear inconvenient (for nursing) clothing to bed and try your best to distract her when she asks to nurse.

Good luck with whatever you decide. You're most certainly not a failure. Your breastfeeding relationship is fluid and adaptable. If your child needs to continue the same amount of breastfeeding as before, then they will start to make up for it with daytime feedings. At which point, you can decide how much you are comfortable with. (Though I'm not sure how old your little one is... and that would make a difference to me.)

Big to you. I know its hard to make a decision like this. Even though co-sleeping and breastfeeding at night offered us more rest in the beginning... When it came to doing it with a toddler, I found that the act of constantly moving and catering to her nursing needs throughout the night was keeping me from getting a full night's rest. Attending to a night-nurser meant never fully falling asleep for me. There has to a level of consciousness there in order to move and offer the breast-- even if you don't remember it. I can definitely feel a difference now between sleeping on my own and and the nights that she comes into my bed (to nurse). Of course that doesn't mean that it won't work for many people, that just means that if you feel the need to cut it off... it's perfectly understandable and okay.

ETA: So my vote was for 24+ months... But that would specifically be 24 months in a separate room. There was no bed-sharing and nightweaning for us. It just wasn't happening.
post #11 of 22
I night-weaned my twins when they were about 22-23 months. I did a half hearted attempt before that (18 months maybe) but they weren't ready. When we did it closer to age 2 it went smoothly, was done in a couple of days and they still nursed often during the day. Now at 27 months they nurse 2x a day (naptime and bedtime) and they continue to co-sleep.
post #12 of 22
My last few kids nightweaned around age 2. It seems impossible; it seems like it's never going to happen, until it happens! I did have to make the decision and push it for a few/ several nights but at two they seem to be able to understand the new situation, even if they aren't thrilled about it.
post #13 of 22
My daughter will be 2 next month, and is 99% nightweaned now. We've been slowly working towards it, but last night was the first time she actually slept all night. It's definitely working; the hardest part for me was being consistent.

She still sleeps with us, though she has her own bed right next to ours. I'm fine with it for now, but wonder what will happen when #2 comes along...
post #14 of 22
I was unable to nightwean my little co-sleeper. I helped her wean fully at 27 months because I was completely exhausted from nursing her every 2 hours at night.
post #15 of 22
I voted 12-18, but it was right around 17-18 months when we moved dd to the next room and night weaned. I tried earlier, but didn't think she was ready.
post #16 of 22
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by curious&eager View Post
I nightweaned my 13 month old and it has been great for both of us. He now sleeps through the night on a lot of nights or just wakes up once. For me, I now do not feel like I'm going crazy. I am a refreshed focused good calm mother. My baby went from being very moody and demanding to fun and energetic. I think he wasn't getting the sleep he needed before we nightweaned. DH helped a lot in the process, comforting DS and trying to get him to sleep without nursing. It was a lot of work for DH but now the three of all get sleep and we're all so much happier.

You are not giving up or quiting. You're still breastfeeding in the day. If you child is anything like mine, he'll just switch his eating from the night to the day where it belongs. I have a very opinionated boy and he did cry for 2hrs with DS when I wouldn't feed him and then he went to sleep, but get this. Little man when it was morning and I tried to nurse him, suddenly wasn't hungry and ran off to play instead. So, that helped me realize that he was just eating at night because it felt good, not because he needed to eat. I find that toddlers do not eat a lot and they certainly can eat all the need to in the day with a lot of coaxing, but that won't happen until they are encouraged to not eat at night.

I know it may feel like a failure now, but it's most certainly not. Everybody will benefit from it and you'll be a better mom to your child when you have the energy to give all of yourself to them. Do what you feel is right because as you know, it will take work and probably even more lost sleep in the process, so you have to be firm in what you decide.
thanks for this. i just feel like i'll be a better mama if i'm not running the all-night milk bar. i think it's worth a shot.

thanks everyone for your helpful replies and support!
post #17 of 22
I voted even though my daughter is fully weaned. At the time she nightweaned she was 26 months and sleeping in a twin bed pushed against our king. About 10 months later she was in the twin in our room but separated from our bed. Two months after that she was in her own room.

6 months after nightweaning her little sister was born, 7 months after nightweaning she weaned completely.
post #18 of 22
I nightweaned DD out of desperation at 14 months. She continued nursing though, and is still nursing at 2 years old. I chose "still sleeps in the same room w/me", though it's only for part of the night, b/c she doesn't STTN uninterrupted by any means, but gives us a good few hour stretch before she needs a cuddle from me or DH.
post #19 of 22
Oh, I forgot to say in my post. He is in a separate bed. He started sleeping better when we moved him. That was a very hard transition for both of us. It took about four days of misery and then he was ok with it. Within a week, he went from waking up every two hours to nurse to sleeping five to six hours at a stretch most night. Then when we night-weaned, he'll sleep all night most nights, 9.5 to 10.5 hrs.

I like the person who said, co-sleeping and breastfeeding at night offered us more sleep in the beginning. Now that they are toddlers they can be gently taught without crying it out (although there is a lot of tears and resistance involved sometimes) to sleep in another bed and to not eat at night.

And making the effort to do so has such great rewards for both the kid and the parent. That's at least what I've found. I'm a happy sleeping mommy ready to face the day of a busy climbing exploring wanting toddler.
post #20 of 22
We nightweaned around 26 months and then fully (gently) weaned at 34 months due to pregnancy (and achy nipples!)
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