I need help, seriously

[mommariffic]

Growing up we went through periods of having more than enough money, and having so little money that we lost our home [once] and had to go on assistance [for a bit] and so I'm used to both worlds. My husband and I started off doing okay - living paycheck to paycheck, getting by, etc. Now he's doing very well, and my freelancing is going okay, and I'm spending too much and have no idea how to stop.

I need to budget, I need help on finding coupons and sticking to my guns and living on a few hundred dollars a week for both food/activities. I know some of you don't even have that so please don't mock me or anything because I want to live a little more simply, and spend less.

Some questions:
What is a reasonable budget for food each week? How much do you spend and how do you find out about sweet deals and coupons?

Activity wise, how much do you put aside weekly? We do a lot of free things like play dates, and park trips but I do want to have either a weekly or monthly budget for museums and whatever else.

I just, I need help because each week my husband puts money into my account and I'd like to make that stretch out as far as I can. I'd like to have money for extras like a pumpkin latte or a book for my daughter but I would also like to live within a reasonable budget so we can save.

I just need help. BAH

[cappuccinosmom]

Food cost depends on where you live. But if you are deliberate about meal planning and sticking to your list, you should see your spending go down even without coupons.

Activities--what about yearly passes? That way you could go places as often as you want, without worrying about whether this time will put you over budget? You know what was spent, and you can plan ahead for the next year to have saved the money for renewals.

Other stuff--I think you might benefit from recording *every* penny you spend, so you can see where the money is going. Then you can determine if these things are really what you want to be spending money on, and work out a reasonable amount of spending for these categories.

[cristina47454]

I second the yearly passes thing. I just looked into it online for myself, and for science museums it looks like it's about $65 for a family membership, and that includes reciprocal museums! Aquariums and zoos also have family memberships available.

I see you are in NJ. We are in MA. I've given up on organics for now bcs things are a challenge, but I try to keep food at around $125/week. This includes stocking up when there are good sales. For me, good sales means meat at $1.99 or less. Bagels/Bread at $1.99 or less (whole grain, all natural), canned tuna/chicken at $1/can. But we have no wiggle room for meals out, but that is sometimes included in people's food budget.

You def. need to write down what you currently spend on things to see where the excess is and work backwards from there. You may find that you don't NEED to spend every penny that gets put in your acct, and you may be able to start saving for holidays, vacations, special treats.

Good Luck. It's a great position to be in!

[Crunchy*VT*Mom]

For me I found that writing EVERYTHING down helped me.

Because then at the end of the month I could see in black and white what I had spent money on...and then think it through for myself if that is truly where I wanted that money to go.

Often I spent a couple of hundred dollars on take out food -- and I enjoyed the food, but really? Did I want to be spending hundreds of dollars on that? Or would I rather put that money towards paying off the house?

Just TRACKING helped me squelch the urge to go through the drive-through.

It made me more conscious everytime I pulled out my wallet to spend.

[GuildJenn]

I agree with all the advice here. Tracking, planning meals/buying on sale, and yearly memberships.

For groceries we do a farm share ($27/week, organic) and then we spend about $100/week further, which includes paper products but not cat food. In the winter we'll do a meat/egg/storage veggie share for $42/week (ethically grown, organic) and hopefully get the bill down around $80/week. That does not include eating out, which we do a couple times a month ($100). But I will say that amount is after learning where all the bakery outlets are in our area and gradually decreasing our budget. We didn't start there.

In our case because we are profligate museum & zoo goers, we pick two yearly memberships per year and those become our outings for that period of time. I like the pass because if my child is cranky etc. we can just - leave. I don't have to feel I'm getting my money's worth. We might add in one more activity per month. ($40 ish?)

For lattes etc., while you're tracking or if you don't want to, I would try setting a cash limit per week and when it's gone, it's gone. Mine currently is $20. That includes lunches and snacks and coffee at work. (Meaning if I don't bring lunch etc.)

[sunnysandiegan]

I hear what you are saying. My advice is to think about what you DO want from money. What are your financial expectations? Short-term? Long-term? In-between? What is your relationship with money? Do you like it? Are you a bit afraid of it? Is it a means to an end? There is no need to answer here. These questions are just meant to get you thinking.

Do you handle the family finances or just your own spending money? Either way, I recommend setting aside time once a week to go over your finances. Match receipts to your accounts online (or in Quicken or whatever you currently use). Sticking your head in the sand is a good way to lose touch (been there, done that - no criticism) when times are good. Take the time to think about your financial goals each week. It is a quick process. Develop a visual aid, if you like.

If you do not handle the family finances, it is probably a good idea to get involved. Start learning the details on how your DH does things and where papers are kept, etc. Start some financial goals together. Discuss your views on these issues. Make a 1-year, 5-year, and 20-year plan (loose plans, general goals). Choose the most important to you both and turn that loose plan into a more concrete plan.

Meanwhile, I agree with tracking every penny you spend for awhile. Just tracking does wonders for most people. Visual aids, like spreadsheets or little books, help a lot, as well.

YOUR numbers will give you all the information you need. What other people do will reflect their values. What are YOUR values? That's what counts.

Hugs! You can do this!

[kkfum]

ITA with the PPs about tracking your spending. I was--and still am a bit-- in your situation, where I knew we weren't spending/saving wisely, even though we weren't struggling at all. I have been tracking our spending for over a year now--just about every penny-- and have just recently put together an actual budget based upon my findings.

I'd be happy to pm you the tracking spreadsheet I've used...it's tailored from someone else's I found online in Excel. It's pretty detailed, but you can definitely tailor it to reflect your own spending habits.

Once you see where you are actually spending your money, it will be much easier to set priorities/goals and see what is worth/not worth spending on in the future. I've also found that reading forums like this and other financial-themed blogs (like The Simple Dollar, Get Rich Slowly, etc.) helps keep me motivated. I also check my checking account and credit card balances (I pay off any purchases every month) online almost every morning.

You don't have to be struggling financially to decide to take control of your finances, so definitely don't feel weird about asking for advice. I have found, though, that there is a lot to be learned from those who work with smaller incomes, whether they are small by choice or by circumstance.

Good luck!

[redvlagrl]

We have a budget and we make sure there are categories for everything:

$600 for food - we rarely eat out (maybe once every month or two at most) and we love food and buy some organic veg and local, ethical meat. It's a generous budget - we can eat more or less what we like (but not steak every night. Luckily we love eating cheaper cuts of meat)

$50 each per month for spending money. This is just for pumpkin lattes or lunches out etc. DH tends to spend his on wine

$100 per month for the kids - clothes, museum entries (not that we go to any), other kids' activites. If there are specific things to spend on that month - like a car seat this month - we will add to it

$50 per month for home repairs/maintenance.

$45 for haircuts (we get them alternate months)

$20 toiletries

$20 non-food groceries

I think that's about it. We do a new budget at the beginning of each month and tweak the figures. Like this month we will have to add $200 for a new car seat for DS and maybe some extra to buy an extension ladder.