Sleep, elusive, sleep

[TreeRose]

I came on to the forum, reading threads about sleep with the intent of posting a new thread about sleep. I feel like our "issues" are so small compared to some that I'm reading! At the same time, I don't want to fight with my DH or have to constantly defend her by saying, "She's a BABY, there's NOTHING wrong with her"... I know there's nothing wrong with her but is there something wrong with us, not soothing her correctly?

She's approaching her 4 week birthday (new baby, unpredictable obviously right?) - and during last week, she was sleeping through the night (BF breaks, but not fully waking). And now, she wakes up every time and has to be walked and rocked through the house to go back to sleep. When we're that exhausted, it's hard to wait for her to be in a deep sleep and that's when the arguments start - why isn't she falling back to sleep at night? Why is it so hard to get her into a deep sleep?

I envy the books and suggestions that nursing her down will help her but she doesn't fall asleep when she nurses (70% of the time), instead she gets happy and relaxed for a few minutes and then is either alert or fussy OR she is crying WHILE eating which makes me feel TERRIBLE...

There's nothing consistent enough for me to speculate food allergies / intolerances, etc... I've even tried TumEase drops, Rescue Remedy, and Essential Oils to calm her. Sometimes she's calm but other times she's not. Will there ever be consistency or predictability? I have great anxiety about going out in public or having guests because I don't know if feeding will soothe her, or if she'll have a meltdown while trying to sleep, etc...

Anyway, thanks for listening.

[raqi]

I think it's at about six weeks when they start to do the bulk of their sleeping at night asnd are awake more during the day, so hopefully you're in for a little reprieve soon! I even got a few 6-hour stretches before the four month regression hit! Haven't gotten them since, though...

[ErinYay]

Aww, poor momma.

It's totally normal for such a young, tiny babe to sleep inconsistently.

Have you tried swaddling, cosleeping, and/or pacifiers? Have you looked into possible oversupply or over-active letdown issues, as your LO is crying at the breast?

Hang in there- it'll get better (but then it'll get worse, lather, rinse, repeat for 18 years )

[LadyCatherine185]

another vote for normal new baby behavior. And she is so brand new. Have you tried swaddling her? My DS never liked it, but others swear by it. Do you colseep? THat worked really well for us because DS would be less disturbed.. any picking up and putting back down woke him up too much. Have you tried white noise? Do you have the room pitch black?

I also wanted to say that around 4 weeks we started to notice some of DS's allergy and reflux signs, and they were really bad by 6 weeks. Keep an eye out, because those things really affect sleep.

[jecombs]

I'm pretty sure this type of behavior is normal, because I went through it with my DD and more recently with my DS. Their sleep patterns will be all over the place this whole first year and yes, there will be a lot of night waking for unknown reasons. It's just par for the course! We have continued to have guests at our house, but they know that they may be woken-up by crying in the middle of the night. IME, going out actually decreased the crying. I think all the new things to see and hear kept my babies so distracted that they forgot about fussing for awhile.

I know it's hard on you and DH. What made it easier for us was trading-off who got to sleep-in the next day. If it was my day to sleep-in, DH gets up with the kids around 7 AM. He only disturbs me if DS needs to be nursed. I can usually get a solid block of sleep between 7 and 9AM.

I think it's important to work out your nighttime parenting system during the day. That way you're both on the same page, which should minimize conflict at night. But your DH does need to realize that this is just normal behavior for a 4 week old. Babies are not meant to sleep deeply; their brains have to remain a little "awake" to remind them to breath! It is thought that this is why BF babies are at lower risk for SIDS than FF babies-- FF babies sleep more deeply than BF because their tummies stay full longer.

Check out this link from Dr. Sears. He explains is way better than I do!

[somegirl99]

It got a bit better for us after 6 weeks or so.

Originally Posted by TreeRose

I have great anxiety about going out in public or having guests because I don't know if feeding will soothe her, or if she'll have a meltdown while trying to sleep, etc...

I too was a bit hesitant about going out in public, but we went on a weekend trip to a wedding last weekend, and DS did great, much better than he had at home previously. It helped that I wore him in a wrap most of the time when we were out and about. We were very pleasantly surprised at how well he did, and actually he seems to sleep better at night on the days we do go out and do things in public (admittedly I wasn't up for it in the first few weeks).

We also have fussiness during nursing, mostly due to my overactive let-down. DS sucks in lots of air so we constantly go back and forth between nursing (cradle position) and burping (upright). If he still has a burp to get out, he screams when I put him back to the breast.

Anyway, I went ahead and NIP on our trip, and it ended up being no big deal (just had to be a bit coordinated about covering myself up while burping him). In fact I was going through the whole routine on the plane at one point, and the lady across the aisle made the comment to her neighbor "the baby doesn't want to lie down" as I guess she couldn't even tell I was nursing him.