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TRAUMATIC car rides - DESPERATE for help!!! - Page 2

post #21 of 47
If she's really hot, try getting her one of those battery-operated fans with the foam blades. It might help her cool down and give her something to play with all at once.
My DD gets super-hot in the back seat of our Civic, even though she's FF already, and she always gets really fussy when she's hot. If I'm on a surface street, I'll roll down the window by her just a bit so that she can get better airflow, and she loves it, so that's an option if you don't want to get her a fan.
post #22 of 47
I am glad you figured out what may be causing her distress, and have a plan to fix it

To pp who said that you don't know anyone whose toddler was killed in a car accident and don't know anyone whose life was ruined by a "legal carseat adjustment" talk to Kyle David Miller's mom, you may not know her personally, but I can assure you that she deals with the trauma everyday of making a "legal carseat adjustment" that led to her sons demise. Just because you don't know anyone doesn't mean it doesn't happen and doesn't mean that parents should just hide their head in the sand when it comes to the issue.
post #23 of 47
I keep a damp washcloth in the freezer for ds when we get in the car, helps keep him cool and he likes to chew on it (even though he is 3 he chews everything still!)
post #24 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by provocativa View Post
I also vote for turning her around. Rear facing is not safer in this case. Another option is an osteopath, but a chiro might also help. My first was like this from the beginning, and it was not safe for me to drive at all. I bought an old steel tank, and put her in the front seat (which you can't)- but most of the issues went away when she was able to be forward facing in the back. I didn't hear about the chiro / osteo possibility until afterwards. Statistics are difficult things to analyze- this board wants everything to be safest. I know so so so many people whose lives are ruined by sugar addiction. I don't know a single person whose life was ruined by a legal carseat adjustment, nor do I know anyone whose toddler was killed in a car wreck. It was very hard for me to make the decision to put my baby and toddler in socially unacceptable seating, but we did it, stayed off the highway of course, and were able to get to the store without almost dying every time.
Car accidents are the #1 cause of preventable death. I don't think 'sugar addiction' is anywhere on the chart... Plus too much sugar is something that can be reversed, internal decapitation/death is not something you recover from.

Besides, many kids go through this at that age, its not always a RF/FF thing. Sometimes turning the seat "helps" b/c its something new for the child, but so is changing the install of the seat or getting a new one and keeping it RF


OP- glad you figured it out! ds loves his radian, so hopefully getting a new seat will solve your problem for ya.
post #25 of 47
Unfortunately not going places wouldn't work for our family since that would mean we would be trapped in the apartment for 5-6 months out of the year..

Radians are awesome! I love the one we have for our oldest. I'm debating getting one for our other daughter since she doesn't like the seat we have for her (we have the Costco Scenera). She has chunky thigh issues as well and the Scenera seems to cut into the chunkiness.

ETA: I think its easy for people to judge circumstances outside of their control on what "they" would do but its harder when you are sitting there. You have to make the BEST decision for YOUR family. Ideally children would go to the limits rear facing but its not always possible. If people want to judge for that so be it.
post #26 of 47
My ds SCREAMED in the car from 0-8months (stopped when we got a convertible), and then again from 15-19ish months (started/stopped for no apparent reason).

So I was in the same position. I'm not judging anyone, but for me, I'd rather have a screaming child and limit outings as much as possible, vs. having a dead child from FF too soon.

At 3, he loves his carseat and doesnt mind being in the car, but I did go though some AWFUL times with him screaching for hours on end. Not fun.
post #27 of 47
How are things going?

I know this thread is from last month, but I had a carseat screamer. He screamed until he was just past two. He started tolerating rides of maybe 15min around then. At 3.5y, he now tolerates longer rides.

We also have a Blvd. We bought it when kiddo was 7.5mo, hoping that he'd stop screaming (it was cushier than his bucket). Didn't work and the screaming continued for ages. I think the headwings make it hard for younger toddlers to see out. Once he could actually see (we have a sedan, so he sits lower), he was much happier. Until then, one of us always sat in back with him.

Did you try the upright install as described? You leave the Blvd in the reclined position, as that is required. You pull it about an inch away from the bight of the vehicle seat and then press down on the front/foot area while tightening the belt (or lower anchors). This gives a more upright angle and it's perfectly acceptable (and very safe) for an older child to be at an upright angle. An upright install helps pacify my kiddo, for sure.

We're lucky enough to live in a city with adequate public transit, so I just avoided the car if I was by myself. We saved grocery shopping for evenings, when DH could come along and sit in back with DS.
post #28 of 47
I would switch her forward facing. She is probably carsick (my daughter was) and the switch to forward facing will solve the problem (for my daughter it did). I don't think rear facing until 2 makes sense for a child who is that traumatized in the car.
post #29 of 47
My baby started screaming bloody murder in his carseat -- turned out he was allergic to the fabric. His whole body was covered in the awful rash by the time we figured it out.
I'm glad you figured out what was going on, and I think it's good to remember that if your baby is screaming in the car seat as though they're in pain, maybe they are in physical pain.
post #30 of 47
Turning a child forward facing at 18 months is anything but safe. It's 500% less safe than rear facing. That we know for sure both from research and real life experiences. It's basically a terrible idea.

Good options have already been mentioned above. A comfortable car seat is of course important, toys, rear facing mirror, and more upright position take car of most problems.

Some kids have these stages when they are simply miserable regardless of circumstances. My daughter, known as Europe's most active toddler, was a screamer until age 2. It was not the car seat or Rf/FF, she was simply miserable sitting still. After age 2 things turned around and she has stayed RF until now (age 4). It was RF until age 4 or not going in the car at all.

Deactivating airbag is sadly usually not possible in US but it's an excellent option. Other people outside US readin this, those who can deactivate airbag, should definitely try this. Not only is is as safe, actually safer, to keep a child up front (airbag must be deactivated) but it's comfortable for both child and parent.
post #31 of 47
really? It's safe to have a car seat in the front as long as there's no airbag or it's deactivated??
What about side airbags, do they have to be deactivated too?

What are the laws about seats in the front seat in the US? I thought it was only ok if there was not another seat available....
post #32 of 47
Rearfacing in the front seat is supposed to be safe, according to the Swedes, as long as there is no airbag. I don't know about how side body airbags affect car seat installs (I know in my dh's Mercedes SLK the special child seats for it only turn off the front airbag, not the side airbag, so I would assume that one doesn't matter). Side curtain airbags, which cover windows only usually, are fine.

Laws about when children can ride up front vary from state to state. In my state it's children under 12 that cannot, WHENVER PRACTICAL. So in a two seater, all other seats used, or even other seats folded flat to haul a load, a child up front could be justified.
post #33 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by Toolip View Post
really? It's safe to have a car seat in the front as long as there's no airbag or it's deactivated??
Swedish researchers apparently say yes, US researchers say no.
post #34 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by chickabiddy View Post
Swedish researchers apparently say yes, US researchers say no.
is there research in the US on it? Or is it just a theory?
post #35 of 47
Yes, NHTSA has done the research. I don't have it in linkable form, but it's out there.
post #36 of 47
So what's the speculation on the differing results?

Different cars? Different car seats? I'm very curious....
post #37 of 47
I was thinking carsickness like a pp. My son had that. It's a tough situation to figure out...OP did changing the seat help at all?
post #38 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by Toolip View Post
So what's the speculation on the differing results?

Different cars? Different car seats? I'm very curious....
The major difference is that in Europe, cars are made with airbags that have keyed switches, but in the US it's very very rare to find a passenger car with a usable backseat, that has a keyed airbag switch.
post #39 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by an_aurora View Post
The major difference is that in Europe, cars are made with airbags that have keyed switches, but in the US it's very very rare to find a passenger car with a usable backseat, that has a keyed airbag switch.
Quite frankly, it's hard to find ANY cars anymore that have a keyed switch. Even a lot of 2 seaters just have sensors, so you cannot install a car seat in that seat rfing at all (unless you buy a special car seat that turns off the sensor in a few vehicles).
post #40 of 47
There was a picture of a brand new Audi floating around that has a switch (not a keyed switch, but a manual button versus a weight sensor) for the airbags, but that's the only new car I've seen with a switch.

ETA: and the regulations are changing I believe in 2011 or 2012 where new trucks and cars w/out a usable backseat (ie 2- seaters) don't have to have a keyed switch anymore, but can instead just use a weight sensor
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