Because it's safe to vent here.

[dexlor]

Hi all, so let's see, my life is pretty darn good. But today was not such a hot day...well actually it was...but just read on. So, day 4 of my period is still ridiculously heavy flow. I'm exhausted, I think because of that and just lots of stuff going on...put almost $1000 into '01 car, got a new job. That sort of thing. Today it is super hot. Planned whole day around taking my 2.5 year old DD to Cornell. They look for volunteers to do observational stuff with toddlers. Cornell is it's own world. The traffic is absurd. On top of that, the Czech Rep. prez was visiting today so lots of security right at the spot where I'm supposed to park. Needless to say...already frustrated and grumpy.

My DD is very slow to warm up. She is a smart, brave, adventurous chatterbox. But she clung to me like glue and hid behind me the whole time. I told her ahead of time we were going to the baby lab (that's what it is really called) to play games and play with toys. And she's been there before. I was so royally P***ed at her. I get so sick of this shyness. I know this sounds so mean and it may have come out of left field. And I know this may be something that will pass. But I was painfully shy and got picked on so much and still struggle but she sees me and DH talk and mingle and seek out others so why is she like this? It worries me and it angers me. But I keep it in. I just told her when we had to leave early that I was a bit mad and I wished she just played. Even that, she doesn't need to hear. Shyness isn't a crime and I certainly don't want to make her feel bad about an honest emotion she is having or make her feel guilty in any way. So I vent here and tell my DH.

Lastly, everyone says girls potty train early and today with this experience I had with her today I was also feeling frustrated b/c she has no interest in the potty and has told me she likes to pee/poop in her diaper. I was tempted to come home and say "off w/ the diaper, off with the pants" but I realized I would just be doing that mostly out of this day's frustrations. I would love for her to experience more naked time as I think that would help. But she loves getting and staying dressed. Ugh.

Need to stop wasting time sulking on the computer and go play with her. Need to splash cold water on my face and breathe and enjoy her because she is such a great little person and I am just acting like a jerk.

Okay. Done. Thanks!

[justKate]

Nope, not a jerk. It's okay.

I was horrifically shy as a child, and would hate to see DD the same way. I was serious, observant, verbal, and didn't like the rambunctiousness of other children. They scared me. I think it is a part of the personality that you have to grow out of. I say do what you can to help her feel confident, and beyond that, try to accept it. But you already know that. I'm sorry you had a rough day.

[swd12422]

I could have written your post on any of a number of days over the past year and a half. DS is extraordinarily social (to the point that even as an infant, he'd be miserable and crying and cranky at home with me and all smiles and happy as soon as he got into the grocery cart). We have a baby/toddler lab at the U here too, and the first time we went, he did nothing but cry. The second time, he pooped as soon as they took us in, and we nearly missed our entire appointment (only 20 minutes long) b/c I had to take him all the way back to the car to change him since I didn't think I'd need the diaper bag for a 20 minute appointment. The third time, he agreed to sit, but not for long, and basically refused to cooperate. I can't believe they ever let us come back after those first three times.

The only "social" outlet he has other than an occasional playdate is library story time. At the park, at the mall, at playdates, at the gym he runs off and has fun. At library story time, the one time I can sit in a chair away from him and watch him enjoy himself from a distance, or (heaven forbid) even read a book and zone out, he won't leave my lap. I have to sit on the floor with him and practically force him to do the motions to the songs. Not fun on day 4 of Heavy Flo.

IDK what it is, but they seem to have a good radar for just what's going to put mommy over the edge. Today it was poop in the naptime diaper after being potty learned (and no poopy diapers even overnight) for six months.

You're not alone. I know it'll get better (for us, it already has in some ways, other than today's random poop, which really isn't a tragedy, and could've been worse by being done in pants). It's definitely hard to remember that some days, though. Hang in there! Tomorrow will be better!