I tend to compartmentalize my love and family lives for the sake of ease. I am doing so less and less, but I am still not ready to wholely blend the two.
I have been seeing my beau for a year (but on and off before that for another 1.5 years). I spend on average 1-2 days a week with him, but when he travels, we might go a few weeks without seeing one another. We talk, text, send videos and email a lot to otherwise stayed connected.
Right now, I typically only see him when my child is with his father, a friend or family member. But that is also usually the beau's free time as well. Very occasionally, he might come over on a weekday post-bedtime but not be here in the morning.
I tend not to blend the two beyond a social friend level because it's not right now for my life (one day
). Because my child is school aged and spends weekends with his dad, our time together is limited and I like to focus that time on my child. Plus this means I have the weekends already free and take advantage of that time. So circumstantially, this is easier for me.
I think it depends on the situation, on the type of relationship and even the age of the children (I have a lot more child-free time as my child gets older). I think it's about being honest with yourself and working to balance everyone's needs. I know my particular choices would not be ideal for everyone. But it's the best choice for me and my child and my partner right now.