Carpool parents - Page 2

[Emmeline II]

My ds rode the bus for a brief time (we were worried about his behavior on the bus and we were right) and he had to be at the stop at 6:40am--when we drove I left the house at 7:26. That is a big time difference in the morning.

Though I once heard some teachers complaining about the number of pick-up parents and why don't they put the children on the bus!? Actually, I heard several comments complaining about parents, once while I was practically sitting at the teacher's feet!--one of several issues I had with that school; save it for the teacher's lounge please .

Now ds goes to a school with no buses and there are staggered pick-up times to control traffic; it also limits idling.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by junipermuse

Are you saying its bad for parents to drive High Schoolers to school? My parents drove me every day of high school.

The high school bus is much more likely to have fights, kids talking about sex, etc. Little kids are pretty tame, big kids not so much.

A great deal really depends on the exact circumstances. Where we used to live, I couldn't believe how far the high school bus stop was from our house (about 4 blocks) and the amount of stuff the neighbor kids carried around -- backpacks full of text books, musical instruments, gym bags, etc. -- while trekking around in sometimes horrid weather.

When we moved this summer, we picked the school first and then the house, and my kids have a 5 minute walk. They are in 7th and 8th grades, and I walk them to school but they walk home on their own most days.

[ollyoxenfree]

Originally Posted by junipermuse

Are you saying its bad for parents to drive High Schoolers to school? My parents drove me every day of high school. It was about a mile and I usually had to walk home at the end of the day, unless I could convince someone to drive me home (except my freshman year when i went to a school that was much farther away, then my parents drove me and I took the bus to the closer highschool and walked home from there). Most of my friends had cars or were allowed to drive their parents car to school by 11th and 12th. I'd certainly want to drive my kid to school rather than make them walk if it was possible. High Schoolers are so busy with activities and homework (and they need more sleep than adults, so its good to save them the morning time as well) it seems mean to not drive them if you can so at least you've saved them the 20-40 min of walking/riding the bus.

First, let me say that my kids have been driven to school when they were young, so I understand that it may be the only option available. But we carpooled when we could and used school buses or public transit when available, rather than have a single passenger/single vehicle situation.

There may be good reasons to drive a high school student to school. Some posters in this thread have given examples. In the case I referred to, the teenager refused to take the bus and wanted a personal chauffeur and the mom complied, yet she disparaged moms who walked with their younger children to school. She admitted that he was capable of taking the bus and he had no other excuses - no bullying issues etc. - but she didn't want to endure the grief he would bestow if she left him to take the bus. I don't know how she resolved the inconsistency (they were helicopter moms, she was simply supportive of her son's needs).

It seems mean to me to drive a high school student when there is a convenient public transportation option and it isn't necessary for other reasons: conflicting schedules for other activities, safety issues like bullying, or others mentioned above. It's mean to the environment to chug oil and spew noxious exhaust from idling vehicles into the air around schools. It's mean to create an unsafe traffic zone around schools where drivers double park, make U-turns, back up without care and otherwise endanger children. It's mean to foster dependence and physical inactivity. I think that if public transit (including school bussing) is available, then people should be encouraged to use it and high school students have fewer excuses than elementary school students to forego this option. By the time my kids attended high school, I wanted them to be able to manage situations of bullying, drugs and anything else they could face on a bus - since those situations could arise just about anywhere else they go.

When I look at all the cars idling in front of schools - including high schools - I know that every single parent has a justification for driving their kids every day. I wonder though. I wonder because some of these same parents make a big issue about healthy food in the cafeteria, but don't seem to care about the exhaust fumes that the kids on the school playground are breathing. I wonder because the bullying they avoided on the school bus just takes place on the playground and in the hallways and bathrooms and on social networking sites instead. I wonder because any drugs available on the school bus are also going to be offered on the school grounds and in the bathrooms and at the parties my high schoolers attend. I wonder because there is a huge dependence on fossil fuels and maybe there won't be enough left in the future for our grandchildren and great-grandchildren to enjoy being personally chauffeured to school - or heat their homes, for that matter.

[Linda on the move]

I used far less gas driving my kids back and forth to school last year than I did when I was homeschooling, so that whole line of reasoning doesn't work for me.

The parents I know who drive highschoolers to school are usually doing on their way to work. For some parents, its the only one-on-one time they have with that child.

[Alyantavid]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move

The high school bus is much more likely to have fights, kids talking about sex, etc. Little kids are pretty tame, big kids not so much.

A great deal really depends on the exact circumstances. Where we used to live, I couldn't believe how far the high school bus stop was from our house (about 4 blocks) and the amount of stuff the neighbor kids carried around -- backpacks full of text books, musical instruments, gym bags, etc. -- while trekking around in sometimes horrid weather.

When we moved this summer, we picked the school first and then the house, and my kids have a 5 minute walk. They are in 7th and 8th grades, and I walk them to school but they walk home on their own most days.

I don't know about that. My kid goes to a K-12 school and rides the bus home everyday. I hear many more issues about older elementary kids than middle or high school. And most buses here have the younger kids up front and the teens in the back. I know that's just in our case, but it wouldn't surpise me if it was the same in most schools.

[madskye]

DD just started in kindergarten this September and is taking the bus. She loves it. It's her time with "the big girls" and kids she knows in the other kindy class. I thought she'd be intimidated but I was wrong!

I was actually planning to drive her. I thought 5 was young for the bus. But, it stops right at my driveway both ways and pick up is at 8:45 AM, which is actually later than I would leave with her. (I would have to worry about parking spot at school) The only downside (kind of) is that school is over at 3 and she's dropped off her between 330 and 340--so she's last one picked up in the AM, and last on the way home. The school is roughly a 2 minute drive from my house. It's not a bad walk, either, but we don't have sidewalks and it's a busy "country" road that people treat like the autobahn.

Our school doesn't allow idling. You have to park and walk to the school doors. One thing that is nice about not taking the bus (at my non-idling school) is that you get a chance to see the other kids and parents.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by Alyantavid

I hear many more issues about older elementary kids than middle or high school.

In the city we lived in last year, a high school boy had to be hospitalized after being beaten up on a bus. I've never heard of younger children being able to do that kind of damage to each other. It's really not the frequency (middle school boys are more likely to get into fights) but the seriousness of the injuries when they do happen. (Girls get into fights, too, of course.) But the amount of damage that 16-18 year old young men can do to each other and the bus driver's ability to put a stop to it is VERY different than what happens with children.

I don't understand the judgment of parents for driving kids to school -- no matter their age. Different things work for different kids and different families.

[moondiapers]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move

The high school bus is much more likely to have fights, kids talking about sex, etc. Little kids are pretty tame, big kids not so much.

A great deal really depends on the exact circumstances. Where we used to live, I couldn't believe how far the high school bus stop was from our house (about 4 blocks) and the amount of stuff the neighbor kids carried around -- backpacks full of text books, musical instruments, gym bags, etc. -- while trekking around in sometimes horrid weather.

When we moved this summer, we picked the school first and then the house, and my kids have a 5 minute walk. They are in 7th and 8th grades, and I walk them to school but they walk home on their own most days.

Here, the highschoolers ride the bus with the little kids....that is MY reason for driving.

[Sneezykids]

Last year I drove my ds nearly everyday to 3rd grade...I didn't have a problem with the bus...I just could not get my lazy butt out of bed to get to the stop in time (at the sub entrance, still needed to be driven THERE). Many times I dropped him off in my PJ bottoms and hoodie.

[jen in co]

We live too close to qualify for the bus, but just thought I'd pipe in with a few other reasons people drive.

1) I volunteer at school a fair amount (avg 2x per week), so I drive for meetings or volunteer times.

2) Also, drop-off and pick-up are pretty social at our school. Many parents walk or drive/park to pick up or drop off and there's a lot of chatting and getting to know other families. Some of our friends who live far enough away to get a bus, still pick up or drop off frequently for the social reasons along

3) Finally, I often drop the kids off and head off for other errands, meetings, appointments, workouts, etc. So, combining the trip works for all of us...

[Hoopin' Mama]

Ds would have to leave much earlier to catch the bus and I'd prefer to drive the 3 miles than stand at a bus stop waiting. Also, he's in kinder, I'm sure there would be some "fretting" involved with waiting at first.

To me, it's a lot more pressure getting to a bus stop on time from work, than getting to the school. What if there is something holding up traffic? While I know that the driver wouldn't let him off without me there, I would still worry. At this point I feel like our day is generally easier by driving.

[MJB]

My son would have to be at the bus stop 1/2 mile from our house an hour before school starts. I can drive him in 10 minutes. He wants to ride the bus so I'm going to let him try it out but it just doesn't make much sense to me.

[Emmeline II]

Originally Posted by ollyoxenfree

I wonder because the bullying they avoided on the school bus just takes place on the playground and in the hallways and bathrooms and on social networking sites instead. I wonder because any drugs available on the school bus are also going to be offered on the school grounds and in the bathrooms and at the parties my high schoolers attend.

You can avoid bathrooms, walk/run away on the playground, but on the bus you are trapped with one preoccupied adult.

[mattemma04]

When my dd went to ps the first time she rode the bus.The school is 2 minutes from us.She was the last picked up and the last dropped off.The next year when she and ds were going to ps the district decided that instead of picking the kids up at the end of the drive I had to cross a busy road and walk about 500 feet to a new bus stop.No other kids there just mine.I said forget it I will drive.Never much liked the idea of seatbelt laws for cars,and nothing to secure them in buses.

On a final note I really don't like how so many bus drivers are driving these days.Often they speed and are inches behind my car.Driving them atleast the kids are in seatbelts and there is not extra travel time as compared with the bus ride.

I let dd ride the bus so she could see what it was like.She likes the car ride much better.

[cedoreilly]

I pick up my kids one day a week only because my DD has dance class right after school and if I let her take the bus home, she would not make it to dance class in time. Her dance school is in the opposite direction from the school as our house. I hate doing pick up at my older kids school with a passion. The parking lot is small and way too many cars. Also if they are going home, they are the first stop and actually get home faster than if I drove them home. In the morning, they are the first on the bus and have a LONG ride. The two boys have friends on the bus so they don't mind it. My DD has been known to do her reading log reading on the bus.

[Ruthla]

The bus drivers near me are safe drivers. There's enough competition for jobs right now; anybody caught driving unsafely won't remain a school bus driver very long. And I don't worry about the lack of seatbelts in the bus because statistically, kids are safer in the school bus than they are in a car, even in the best carseat. School buses are safe vehicles, period.

The elementary school is 1.75 miles from our house, the middle school 1/4 mile, and the high school 1.6 miles (in the opposite direction from the elementary school.)

Last year, DD2 walked to middle school every day because it was faster than waiting for the bus. DS takes the bus most of the time to and from elementary school, but I do end up driving him on days that we're running late. Some days, when he's a little under the weather and easily over-stimulated, I'll drive him even if we're not running late, so the ride to school is less stimulating for him and he can focus better in class. But I won't do that daily because it's a waste of gas money- I don't mind driving him to school on days I'm going out anyway, but there are days when I don't use my car at all.

DD always take the bus to school. When she stays late for extra help or a club, she usually takes the late bus home, but sometimes I'll pick her up because the late bus often comes half an hour after her club is over. I pick her up every Wednesday because she has a club after school AND a youth group meeting in the evening, and she needs that extra half hour or so for homework.

DD1 is in a private school this year (with private bussing, in a van with normal seatbelts) but she HATED the late bus from the public high school last year. It was very crowded, and the one time she took it she sat between two boys having a very lewd discussion that offended her. DD2 has taken the same bus many times without that experience.