How long 'till my milk runs out

[peacemamma]

I've been nursing DD for about 23 months. She still nurses pretty frequently. I'd say anywhere from 3-5 times during the day and through the night, at least 4 times a night. She really loves nursing.

Long story, but my husband and I are getting divorced and so far he's been great about supporting me with toddler nursing. Our DD stays with me every night to nurse. With the holidays coming up, he'd like to be able to do an overnight (understandably so). But, I'm wondering how long I could go without nursing before my milk would dry up?

Not sure if there is really an answer to this question. I'm guessing it's an individual thing, but it makes me nervous to think that she might be weaned before she's ready.

[tibeca]

Most moms can go a day, some as many as 5, before dealing with serious issues of decline with milk supply. Be sure your ex can soothe her at night/nap times, before assuming that an over night will be worth the stress for him and your dd. I would personally pump first thing in the morning to relieve the pressure from not having her there over night. Otherwise, enjoy your night of freedom, get extra sleep and be prepared to nurse frequently when she comes back.

[annettemarie]

Moving out to BBI

[blessedwithboys]

My personal comfort zone was no overnights until 36 mos and then only one every 4 weeks. YMMV

Oh, I nursed ds for 60 mos.

[la mamita]

i nursed my son until 4 years old and he would (on rare occasions) do sleepovers with my parents, away from me, for a day or two at a time. i never had any trouble with milk supply. you can try doing mother's milk tea if you start having trouble, too.

[pdxmomazon]

I've dealt with low-supply since the get go and attempted my first overnight away from my daughter when she was 21 months-old. My supply was fine, but I was not! I got so engorged (for the first time ever) that I left the hotel at 5am and drove home to nurse her, then returned with both kids and had breakfast with my honey. Can you pump? If so, I wouldn't worry about it too much. It's wonderful that your ex is being so child-friendly about nursing.

[junipermuse]

Well I left dd overnight for 3 days (my grandfather had died and I had to travel to help my mother) when she was 14 months. She was still nursing night and day. I found that I was so engorged that I found I needed to pump twice a day to relieve my breasts, but my milk supply did not suffer. And when I returned dd happily came right back to the breast. I bet if you pumped a couple times during an overnight you could probably go 1 or 2 days. Also I wouldn't worry too much about whether or not dd's dad can comfort her to sleep yet. I think as long as he is willing to do everything in his power to comfort her in the night they'll eventually figure it out. My dd was actually nightweaned at this age and our method was to have dd sleep with her daddy and I slept on the couch. My dh comforted her all night long and pretty quickly she got used to cuddling up to him and falling asleep. So its not really much different.

While there seems to be some mamas cautioning you against leaving dd overnight with her father, I think the more accommodating you are to your stbx the more likely you are to continue maintaining his support for yours and dd's nursing relationship. I don't think preventing overnights is in yours or dd's best interest because it could be seen by a judge as you denying stbx's access. My understanding is that after a year, a dad's right to overnights will likely be put ahead of the right to maintain the nursing relationship. You might try x-posting in the single parenting forum though because they might know more about this than I do.

[eclipse]

If you don't have any other qualms about her staying over night, I think your milk supply will be fine. As others have said, you might need to pump for your own comfort. My bigger concern would be that, since she nurses several times a night, that night time might be a struggle for the two of them. But it's a struggle that most loving father/child pairs could navigate.

[lifeguard]

I'm guessing it's different for different women but here's my experience. I've left ds for weekends several times with no affect to my supply. This summer I left him for 2 weeks with the intention to pump while away. After 2 days between the conditions I was in (realllllly hot, lots of exercise, working hard) & time limitations I found I couldn't pump anymore & stopped trying. Figured at that point we were done but when I got home ds picked up like nothing happened. I'm sure my supply dipped in that time but it was back up to normal within a few days of ds nursing again.

[Baby_Cakes]

At LLL, our leader made it clear that as long as you're nursing, there will be some milk. Whether or not its as much as your LO needs is another thing. But there will be something. I've heard it can take years for milk to completely and totally dry up, even without a nursling.

[peacemamma]

Thank you so much to all of you for this advice!
Sounds like it will be okay. I do have a pump and will probably use it. I think I'm more worried about giving her up then anything. But, that's part of the new arrangement.

[Marissamom]

missing the during the night nursings once in a while won't affect your supply too much. Would you be able to work something out where you come to nurse a little before bedtime? and I agree with pumping in the morning, and probably right before you go to bed. my DD night-weaned all in one go, and it took weeks before I wasn't really uncomfortable in the morning.