9 month old is weaning to bottle, won't nurse

[wallacesmum]

I was hospitalized suddenly 3 weeks ago and had chemo. My son took to the bottles of donor milk like a fiend. He's been great about not being able to nurse, and my supply has all but disappeared. Now I'm home for a few weeks, trying to get my supply up but he's totally rejecting the breast, and he's all dad all the time. I have three more courses of chemo coming. At my heart's end, don't know what to do.

[Baby~Braatens~Mama]

I don't know what to say, but I couldn't read your post without responding. I applause your strength and courage at this time. You and your family are in my thoughts, I hope you find a positive breastfeeding alternative for you and your LO.

[heartandhands]

I'm so sorry. You sound like a very strong woman.
A few things come to mind: since he won't nurse why not rent a good hosp grade double pump and start pumping 8-10 times per day? Would you consider a galactagogue such as fenugreek or even domperidone at the same time, while trying to re-establish your supply? I'm not sure if that would be ok considering the chemo treatments.
I am so glad you have donor milk. If you can't get your baby back to the breast and if for some reason you can not pump enough then please be proud of what you have done! 9 months of bf is such a wonderful gift and is a lot more than a lot of babies ever get. Be kind to yourself.
Sending you good milk supply vibes and prayers for health and healing.

[texmati]

I'm so sorry mama. We started supplementing due to pregnancy around 10 months, and I was shocked at how rapidly my supply disappeared. My son will no longer latch. Would you consider using something like a lact-aid with donor milk/formula?

[texmati]

Oh, and this might be frowned upon here, but I often nurse my son In a bra or cami, tummy to tummy nestled in just like he were nursing, on our glider. I put the bottle right next to my chest, and let him put a hand on my breast just like old times.

It's not the same, I know it's not, but for us, right now, I really enjoy having a taste of that closeness.

[wallacesmum]

Thank you for the replies. It is hard, emotionally and physically. I am pumping and taking More Milk Plus, but I hadn't thought of using one of those lact-aid systems. That might not be a bad idea. I'll look into that.

[cristeen]

It is very hard emotionally. I suggest you read up on the 9 mo nursing strike on kelleymom. My guy wound up weaned because of the 9 mo strike. I'm sure the chemo break didnt help any, but it is fairly normal behavior at this age.

[smeep]

Everything everyone said. Do you have a hospital grade pump or just a regular double pump? What you need is a hospital grade pump and you may be able to get insurance or WIC to cover it since baby is unable to nurse at the breast.

I strongly recommend the lactation aid/supplemental nursing system!!! It is my first go-to source for mums with low supply and a baby who has nipple preference. You can start with a med or large size tube and then slowly go down to the smallest size and eventually wean off altogether. Kellymom.com has great info including a page on weaning off of supplements, though you obviously won't want to start that until your chemo is completely done. I would also recommend that you only use the lactation aid when the chemo is out of your system and you can freely nurse, but it will help with nipple preference and supply. When you cannot nurse, use a hospital grade pump frequently (kellymom has details on that) and I would also use it even when you can nurse. drjacknewman.com has a section on lactation aids...while you can buy the special ones (Lact-Aid or SNS) you can also just buy neonatal feeding tubes and put one end at your breast and the other in a bottle of donor milk/your expressed milk/formula. It's much cheaper, but that's all really up to you.

If you can just make it through your chemo treatments then you can work on weaning from the supplements and nursing only at the breast. Good luck!!!

[wallacesmum]

I have a hospital grade pump, and I can try to get some feed tubing - I have a pretty good relationship with the hospital! I have three more rounds of chemo, so I pump and dump during those and I drink it myself when I am on the hi-test antibiotics. I am struggling emotionally, and with the tedium of pumping, but I am just trying to stay in the moment about this as I have with everything else.

[smeep]

Originally Posted by wallacesmum

I have a hospital grade pump, and I can try to get some feed tubing - I have a pretty good relationship with the hospital! I have three more rounds of chemo, so I pump and dump during those and I drink it myself when I am on the hi-test antibiotics. I am struggling emotionally, and with the tedium of pumping, but I am just trying to stay in the moment about this as I have with everything else.

How long do your chemo rounds last (from start to being able to nurse your LO again) and how often will they be? In other words, I'm just wondering how many weeks/months before you will be done with it altogether. It kind of seems like you're in limbo until that final round because, while you can continue to pump and you can try to nurse your LO when you're not going through a round, you can't really put a full effort back to getting him to nurse until you're totally done. And that breaks my heart for you. My DS went through nipple preference and absolutely refused to nurse but I was lucky to be able to quit my job, get rid of ALL bottles, and just make it clear to him that either he nurse or he won't eat at all. (It was after the fact that I learned about a lactation aid which in hindsight would have been a much safer alternative as my supply was low in addition to his refusal to nurse.) Anyway, we DID get back on the breast! It was the hardest thing I've ever gone through and it was about a week of fighting EVERY time, another week of fighting nearly every time, and then another two weeks of occasional fighting before we finally got back to normal. But it was worth every single moment. He was only 3 1/2 months old at the time and we went on to nurse until he was 27 months. That was the hardest but most rewarding fight of my entire life.

[smeep]

Oh, and in addition to a page on lactation aids there is also a video as well on drjacknewman.com.

[aramat]

I've been supplementing my baby from birth, as she was a preemie, and we have struggles ALL THE TIME where she prefers the bottle and doesn't really want to nurse. You've got good advice already, but want to add two things:
1. Nurse while baby is sleepy. I keep baby cosleeping specifically because she is much more receptive to nursing when she is half-asleep.
2. When you aren't using the SNS, you can give baby a bottle, but every few sucks, draw the bottle back a bit, making the feeding take much longer. Babies like the bottle because it is FAST. When I give my baby a bottle this way, I feed her on my breast, and when she has taken about half of the bottle, she turns her head and takes the breast for a while. She may go back and forth several times from bottle to breast in that one feeding, but she does end up taking less of the bottle this way, and she does become more patient with the breast. (Btw, I don't take the bottle so far out of her mouth that she gets upset, and I keep it rhythmic.)