Im new mommy and bf until I was 8.5 yrs old...want info on other mom's thoughts letting child...

[tammylogan]

Hi there all, Im 20 yrs old and a new mommy of an almost 7 wk old dd

I bf until I was ~ 8.5 years old and it was an amazing experience and joy I got to share with my mom. My mom and bf say I turned out normal (LOL).

I can tell you now that I have my dd that being a mom is so wonderful and the bonding exp with my dd as she nurses is precious and incredible.

I can still remember the bond with my own mom while bf and she let me self wean, and it was something that we kept between us as I knew that my friends no longer bf and it was a special time I had with my mom and it was not for any else to know about and none of their business.

I applaud you mom's that stand up for your right to bf and this forum as a sounding board to help others in the same situation I would love to speak with other mom's and get your thoughts on this and to learn your experiences with yourself bf and that of bf your older children.

I plan on letting my dd bf until she feels she no longer needs to, I don't care what the calender says her age is 4, 6, 8+ I will leave that up to her, if she needs to nurse then I will be there for her always as her mommy.

I appreciate your time and only wish to speak to other moms who are positive and not here to judge me or call me names.

Please message me.

Thanks!

Tammy (happy mommy)

[Chloe'sMama]

that is so awesome. Thank you for sharing. DD1 is almost 2.5 and loves that my milk came back when DD2 was born (3 weeks ago)

[Kristin0105]

Congratulations on your new baby and for having such a loving and caring Mom. My dd recently turned 5 and it's hard not to start thinking wow this little girl is getting kind of big to be nursing. Thanks you for your post.

[tammylogan]

thank you moms so much for your support!

the one thing it seems i have read through the different threads about extending breast feeding (child lead weaning) is the concern of what others will think, why should we concern ourselves with what others think when it comes to the relationship with our own child and what we feel is best for them.

it seems as though society tells us what we can and cant do or what is wrong or right...i dont see it this way at all.

again my mom let me nurse until i was ready to stop, she was always there for me and loved me as her baby...i will do the same for my dd.

when i quit nursing my mom at 8.5 years old a big reason i remember was feeling a peer pressure knowing my friends didnt nurse their moms anymore or atleast i assume they werent, it was a special time i had with my mom and i kept it that way and never talked about it with others, it was something that we shared together.

i would be happy to message with any moms that want the point of view from a childs stand point that i had, and now as a 20 yr old and a mom myself my view is exactly the same as i believe its what is best for my child.

take care and the best to all you moms, just go with your heart and love your baby as you see fit and your child will feel that love that only a mommy can give to them

tammy

[mom2threenurslings]

Tammy - it's great hearing from someone who self-weaned! I have five (living) children and four of the five have self-weaned ... two at age 5, two at age 7. My 2.5 year old continues to nurse.

In the beginning I was basically "giving breastfeeding a try" and didn't think I'd get beyond 3 weeks, then 3 months, then 6 months ... etc. I got pregnant with my second when my first was 9.5 months old. By the time my third was born when my oldest was 3.5 years old (and still nursing), and I was happily triandem nursing, I no longer cared what others thought of me nursing an "older" child ... or multiple children. The transformation I went through in 3.5 years was amazing...and the support I received was wonderful. There were still those who thought I was crazy, but, well, I am (but not for nursing my children until they were ready to be done ).

Thanks for sharing your story!

[ElliesMomma]

still nursing at almost 4.5.
i do tell her that she should not tell her friends b/c they would be jealous.
don't know if that's a good tactic or not, but i really don't want her to get any negative flak.
what do you think?
how did you and your mom handle that aspect?

[tammylogan]

Originally Posted by mom2threenurslings

Tammy - it's great hearing from someone who self-weaned! I have five (living) children and four of the five have self-weaned ... two at age 5, two at age 7. My 2.5 year old continues to nurse.

In the beginning I was basically "giving breastfeeding a try" and didn't think I'd get beyond 3 weeks, then 3 months, then 6 months ... etc. I got pregnant with my second when my first was 9.5 months old. By the time my third was born when my oldest was 3.5 years old (and still nursing), and I was happily triandem nursing, I no longer cared what others thought of me nursing an "older" child ... or multiple children. The transformation I went through in 3.5 years was amazing...and the support I received was wonderful. There were still those who thought I was crazy, but, well, I am (but not for nursing my children until they were ready to be done ).

Thanks for sharing your story!

mom2three that is wonderful and soo happy for you thanks for sharing as well! how did it change when nursing your older children from when they were younger as far as how often and how they would nurse?? i would nurse 3-4 times per day until i was 8.5 years old and then after that it was only when i was hurting or feeling down and was more of what i would call comfort nursing.

[tammylogan]

Originally Posted by ElliesMomma

still nursing at almost 4.5.
i do tell her that she should not tell her friends b/c they would be jealous.
don't know if that's a good tactic or not, but i really don't want her to get any negative flak.
what do you think?
how did you and your mom handle that aspect?

elliesmomma it was something private with my mom as i got older i knew it was our special time together and i knew my friends were probably not nursing any longer although i remember i did have a close girlfriend of mine that knew i nursed and she thought it was very cute and neat that i got to do that with my mom, and i can even remember her wishing my mom would let her nurse...so i think that was part of the reason i stopped nursing is peer pressure but i remember not wanting to stop my mom never made me feel bad for needing to nurse and left it up to me when to stop...i would normally nurse before school, after school and before bed and at bath/shower time with my mom i would nurse as well, once i stopped nursing on a regular basis at 8.5 years old i continued comfort nursing when feeling down or lonely.

so i would encourage you to continue to nurse your dd, and just let her know its your special private time with her and something you shouldnt feel bad about but to cherish that time you get to spend with her and let her know how special she is...i would be happy to share more with you if you like or have other questions??

thanks,

tammy

[tammylogan]

i also wanted to add if there is any other moms out there that would like to speak about child-led weaning and are not comfortable in a public way feel free to private message me as well, i can share from my stand point as a child that nursed regularly until i was 8.5 years old and now as a mom myself with a dd and nursing her, i only hope that i have the same bond with my daughter as i did with my mom growing up.

[P.J.]

Hi Tammy, Congratulations on your baby!

I kind of have no business being in this forum. My baby's just 5 months old and I have no idea how we'll go about weaning. CLW sounds nice, but I've decided not to make big parenting decisions too far in advance. I was just here browsing around. I like reading the forums I don't post on just to inform myself thorugh others' experiences.

I have to say, I normally would react to the idea of an 8.5 year old child still nursing as weird. But I was very touched by your story. I had never heard from the child's point of view what this would be like. It sounds like such a beautiful, special shared experience between just the two of you.

Thank you so much for sharing your sweet story. It has changed how I see CLW and the older child.

[tammylogan]

Originally Posted by P.J.

Hi Tammy, Congratulations on your baby!

I kind of have no business being in this forum. My baby's just 5 months old and I have no idea how we'll go about weaning. CLW sounds nice, but I've decided not to make big parenting decisions too far in advance. I was just here browsing around. I like reading the forums I don't post on just to inform myself thorugh others' experiences.

I have to say, I normally would react to the idea of an 8.5 year old child still nursing as weird. But I was very touched by your story. I had never heard from the child's point of view what this would be like. It sounds like such a beautiful, special shared experience between just the two of you.

Thank you so much for sharing your sweet story. It has changed how I see CLW and the older child.

hi yah PJ - thank you so much!!!

yes it was the most amazing sweet bonding experience with my mom, i have so many fond memories of nursing with my mom...it was something i looked forward to each day to spend that time with her and how comforting it was to me, probably my fav was taking a bath with her and laying next to her and nursing with the warm water over us...

i would encourage you to nurse your son until he is ready to wean and let him decide when he no longer needs that bond with you, i believe you both will really enjoy that bond and time spent together as he gets older...

let me know if you have any other questions and thanks again!

tammy

[meemee]

aah i come across this now.

i have tried to talk to my dd about this. but she doesnt really say anything. i think its too much an obvious so she doesnt say anything.

esp. being a single mom i think it really helps her. esp. since she has anxiety and is super sensitive. its like free therapy for her. we cosleep too.

i never thought i would ever be nursing my child till she was 8. when i was pregnant i had this vague idea that it would definitely be CLW. but i had no idea what that would be like. i was pleasantly surprised when i was still nursing her at 1 years old and after that there was no thought process. it just continued.

[tammylogan]

Originally Posted by meemee

aah i come across this now.

i have tried to talk to my dd about this. but she doesnt really say anything. i think its too much an obvious so she doesnt say anything.

esp. being a single mom i think it really helps her. esp. since she has anxiety and is super sensitive. its like free therapy for her. we cosleep too.

i never thought i would ever be nursing my child till she was 8. when i was pregnant i had this vague idea that it would definitely be CLW. but i had no idea what that would be like. i was pleasantly surprised when i was still nursing her at 1 years old and after that there was no thought process. it just continued.

congrats!

as i got older we talked about it and i told her how much i enjoyed that time with her so it was our special time with each other, i just liked nursing/suckling and something i just did everyday so it was something very natural and comforting for me...i believe she liked the time together with me too as she always encouraged me to suckle/nurse and made me feel very loved...

it was just me and my mom as well and we also slept in the same bed so it was just a sweet bonding for us together and i know it was therapy for me as well because it made me feel very special and i so much enjoyed that with her...i continued to comfort nurse for some time after 8.5 years old as that helped me when i was feeling sad or lonely...

thank you for sharing your story its nice to know other moms share the same sweet bond and joy with their children

tammy

[Kira's mom]

I had to post here. I haven't been to this site in a while. Dd is almost 8. I too thought I'd 'try' to nurse for 6 months. I soon realized that I didn't want to give my dd formula. I stuck it ouy through cracked nipples, plugged ducts and mastitus. At some point CLW seemed right. This forum was a huge part of my life and support system. Two weeks before Kira turned 4 she told me she didn't need my milk anymore. She did try to latch on numerous times over the next year, but the milk was gone. She is known to say 'That was the biggest mistake I ever made in my life!!". I have never regretted for one moment the path we chose together. It may be the best thing I've ever done. I had to visit with you girls. Keep it up!!! xoxox

[sparklett]

Originally Posted by tammylogan 


I appreciate your time and only wish to speak to other moms who are positive and not here to judge me or call me names.
 

LOL.  You've come to the right place.  I don't think there's a single person here that would judge you.  We're not your run-of-the-mill group of mamas.

I can honestly say that if I had children at age 20, I would not have had made the amazing and wonderful choices you're making.  I REALLY admire you. 

I'm another one of those moms who was hoping to make it to 6 months.  Now we're at 3.5 and I figure DS will give up when he's ready. 

[CheriK]

Wow, thanks to the OP for sharing your story.  How wonderful to remember that special time with your mom.  Have you shared this with her?  I bet she'd appreciate it!

When I was pregnant w/ my twins, I planned on breastfeeding as long as they wanted.  I figured that would be 2-3 years.  We had a tough start to breastfeeding.  Once all our challenges were resolved, I couldn't see why I would wean them, after all our hard work.  My DD nursed until 5 1/2, DS until 6+, and I'm now nursing my toddler who will be 2 years on Monday (literally - NAK- with her foot tucked into the other side of my tank so it can get milkies too ;-).  I'm so glad my older two remember nursing.  Although I've loved nursing my babies, I definitely find it more fun to nurse a "big" kid.  As the nursing relationship becomes less about food and more about connection, it just grows more and more special. 

One of my favorite conversations about weaning was with my then 4-year old son.  We were talking about weaning (he'd heard the idea and was still fascinated/horrified about it).  I asked when he thought he might wean.  He asked me when he would be 5, as of course when you're 4, 5 seems really old.  I told him how many months until his birthday (4 months).  He thought about that for a few moments, clearly deciding that was far too soon, then asked how old our big-boy neighbor was (10), since he was clearly OLD.  When even that didn't seem old enough, he announced that he'd wean when he turned 16!  At that point, I didn't know whether to laugh or to cry ;-)

I'd definitely try and find a local community of like-minded moms.  It was so different to birth baby #3, at home with midwives, having friends who are experienced breastfeeding moms or LLL Leaders or IBCLCs (or all 3) visiting and bringing us food and support.  Much more joyful, comforting, and nurturing.  No need to justify our choices to anyone because we all parent in similar ways.  I don't think my children ever experienced any peer pressure about nursing.  Actually, I doubt most if any of their friends even knew they nursed.  By that point, they only nursed once or twice a day, at home in bed, so there was no reason anyone would know.  It was just part of our routine - they wouldn't think to tell a friend "I brush my teeth every night before bed" or "I nurse every night before bed."  I think it was surprising for them to find out that most kids their age weren't nursing.  My older DD's best friend (6 years) is tandem nursing with her baby sister, my younger DD's best friend.  We're lucky to have that sort of community!

Enjoy your little one!

[tammylogan]

thank you all so much!!

yes i have told my mom how awesome it was to nurse/suckle with her and how amazing it made me feel to suckle her breasts as i got older and the comfort it brought to me and she also told me how much she enjoyed that special time with me as well...such fond memories of sharing that bond with her...it was just me and my mom so i think i was much easier than some moms i hear from that have husbands that complain all the time about them nursing and so many moms dont get to have the bond that is developed nursing an older child. I totally agree with you CheriK that as I got older and then once I would just suckle for comforting that it was the bond/connection is why i continued for so long is that it meant so much to me to have that time with my mom each day that was just our special time while taking a bath/shower with her and the warm water over me or laying in her bed at night suckling while i would fall asleep...i miss that time with her and sometimes wish i could go back in time it was so special. I look forward to my dd getting older and hope to have that bond with her and will let her nurse/suckle for as long as she needs and wants that bond it is so special and loving...its not just about the nutrients of breast milk but also about a very special sweet bond between mom and child.

if anyone has questions please message me to hear a viewpoint from a child nursing and now also as a mommy to my sweet dd.

take care all and happy nursing!! :)