s/o listening to your body

[kalamos23]

What do you do when you have no faith your body will work correctly? How do you regain that trust in yourself? I still listen to my body, but it has failed me so many times this year, I don't trust it anymore, if you know what I mean.

[Sihaya]

and because I'm totally in the same boat right now.

With DS, we had no ultrasound, no doppler except during labor and I had complete and total trust everything would go well (and it did). After two losses in a row, though, now I need the early ultrasound and doppler, I need the frequent early contact with my care providers, I need the interventions to stay sane when all I really want to do is UP entirely.

[bleumoose]

Maybe some journaling might help? Birthing from Within (book, or classes if you have an instructor near you) is a really helpful resource that uses art as a therapeutic approach to preparing for birth. There's also a book called An Easier Childbirth by Gayle Peterson, which uses traditional journaling. She has prompts to help you write things out.

IIRC both more or less assume you had a traumatic birth the last time and are wanting to move past that, but I am sure that you could use the methods, with minor tweaking perhaps, to learn to trust your body throughout pregnancy.

[Lauren82]

I wish I knew the answer to this. Every moment for me is uncertainty.

[Pavlovs]

My answer would be to use hypnobabies or other similar practice - I just initiated a post about it.

[Adasmommy]

I struggled with this after my cesarean because I felt like it was all well and good to trust my body, but how could I trust the man-made incision that was never meant to be there?

The cesarean was accompanied by a horrific birth loss, as well, however, I knew something was up with the pregnancy, so it's not like my body wasn't communicating. I just didn't know it was something devastating.

Anyway, I've come out the other side and I do trust my body again. For me it was addressing the loss and the surgery until neither one had any power over me--reducing them to memories/experiences, rather than something I'm still stuck in and reliving and treating as if it applies to today instead of yesterday. I did this through Dianetic counseling (my dad did it for me) and I did a detox program to get all the drugs from the cesarean out of my system before conceiving again. I was surprised to find that the detox program relieved me of a great deal of grief even though it was addressing my physical body and had no emotional component (I wasn't talking to anyone about the experience, or anything).

Those two things restored my faith and knowingness and comfort. I proceeded to have a home VBAC that went perfectly and I never had a slight tinge of fear or worry, beyond the usual labor "this is impossible--I'll never make it!" type feelings!

I'm planning a homebirth now with no ultrasounds or doppler use. I realized that bodies heal, even when organs are cut open, and I can trust my body to do that.

So my recomendation is to work through what happened because there's a difference between learning from your experiences and living in fear because of them. Love and luck to you!

[Adasmommy]

Sorry, but I have such strong ideas and experiences about listening to your body! I did want to add that once you address your losses, you may rationally decide that an ultrasound, doppler, etc is the best course of action. And that's cool. If you're listening to your body and that's what you decide is appropriate, then do it. These are tools, after all.

I personally feel that frequently such tools rob a woman of her communication with her body because she relies on the tools (and the medical professional interpreting the results) instead of being in tune with herself. But it doesn't have to be that way.

[Skippy918]

I get worried when my nausea symptoms aren't as severe as the previous day. How can I be sure that my baby's heart is still beating and that he/she is still growing? I'm not showing yet and all my pants still fit too.

[kissum]

I have a lot of fear, but not as much as I thought I would. I had a partial placenta abruption with DD, that was recurring. The chances are only 20% that it will happen again this pregnancy, but since I had quite a bit of spotting from weeks 5-7 (+ implantation spotting @ 3 wks) I am nervous about it. That's how it started last time, leading up to me almost losing my DD at 18 weeks. And then I had to be induced at the end of my pregnancy (they were worried about placenta function), which really made me feel out of control. DD had to spend a couple of days in the NICU with an "infection" (never proven) and had trouble breathing. I don't know if her problems were due to the induction, and not being ready, or if they had to do with the placenta problems. At the end though, she's fine. Completely healthy and bright. I do feel a doppler is a great tool for me, because it was the one thing that reassured me my DD was fine when the docs suspected I might have lost her. I got off the phone with the doctor, and was immediately able to find her heart beating away.

BUT I do feel that my body really let me down. I was only 21 when she was born, I can't believe I had such a difficult pregnancy. I've always been very healthy. But pregnancy is scary for me.

I'm really working on trusting myself to get through this pregnancy without any major problems. I've been sort of talking to myself about it. Telling myself I believe I can do this, etc. I'm not there yet- but hopefully I will get there.