When do you stop babyproofing and start saying no?

[DevaMajka]

Ds is 15 mos old, and has been super mobile for way too long. Our main area (living room and kitchen) has been babyproofed, and is gated off. As his abilities increase, we increase our babyproofing. He can open all the drawers and cabinets with the exception of one, so anything breakable or openable has to be out of his reach (which is not easy). He can move the step stool so he can get up to the counter, so that has to be kept out of the kitchen (even though ds1 needs it to use the sink). and so on and so on.

But he keeps getting better at getting into stuff! Last night, he climbed up on the computer chair, and got up to the computer desk. We can't possibly keep everything off the computer desk! He keeps finding new things to climb on, and I won't be surprised if he gets up onto the counters somehow in the next few months.

At what point do we stop trying to keep up with him with babyproofing, and just start telling him he can't get certain places and do certain things? At this point, which one is going to be more work?

[Daffodil]

When my DS was probably just a month or so older than that, I discovered that simply telling him "no" in certain situations ended up working better and being less work (and causing less unhappiness) than trying to prevent through babyproofing or redirection. I kept using babyproofing in situations where I could make it work, but there were certain things he could do that I couldn't easily prevent, like getting onto the table or my filing cabinet, and constantly moving him when he started to do it was getting old (and was frustrating to him.) When I very sternly told him "no!" and made it clear that he was simply not allowed to do that anymore, he was (of course) very unhappy and frustrated at first, but he quickly got the message and gave up on trying, and then it was a lot less frustrating for both of us. (I wasn't super mean about it, but I was stern enough to make it very clear that the activity was NOT OKAY.)

So that was my experience, but both my kids were (I think) unusually compliant from an early age, so I can't say how well the saying no approach would work for a typical under-18-month-old.

[ShyDaisi]

My house has been baby-proofed for Micah's age and abilities since birth and the level has morphed as time has gone on. I didn't add a lot of gadgets or gates or anything like that; I just moved things I didn't want him to touch out of his reach. I think that 15 months is a little early to think he should have an understanding of what is off limits, so I continued to raise the level of baby proofing throughout his 2nd year and well into the 3rd. It wasn't long before the counters were within his scope because he could drag around his chair and stand on it to reach whatever looked enticing. Impulse control has just within the last 6 months become a possibility, but Micah was always pretty impulsive.

Of course, being a single parent, I needed to be able to start dinner, take a shower, or throw a load of clothes into the laundry without worrying that diverting my attention would result in him touching something that was off limits. It just seemed much easier to make sure that everything that was within reach was acceptable to touch or play with.

[The4OfUs]

18 months seemed to be the magic age where it was almost as if a switch went off for both my kids where their comprehension and abilities seemed to get to the point where a gentle, firm, consistent NO was less effort than the keeping things out of the way.

[just_lily]

I agree with the pp that around 18mo my DD started to become verbally redirectable. Before then I had to physically move her every time, which is exhausting. I found 12 to 18mo to be the hardest age with her, thus far.

[eloise24]

We were consistent with things we didn't want DD to touch as soon as she was mobile (11 months). Of course we put away dangerous things, but we couldn't move EVERY.THING. (TV, etc.). So we would pick her up and tell her "no touch" or "touch this."

BUT like PP said, between 15 adn 18 months there is a huge developmental switch when you can look at them and say "don't touch" and they "get it." Consistency is key though. Decide what you do and don't want and be consisten . . . EVERY TIME! They'll get it!

[sugarpop]

We have limited the baby proofing. DD is 12 months, so we will see how it goes. We moved hazerdous stuff and blocked off outlets, but stuff she isn't suppose to have we have tried to talk to her and say no and explain. I am a little relaxed about what she can do though...so that may help. She can go through my cabinets, rip clothes out of my dresser and take a book off the book shelf, she loves to pretend she is reading my books...so funny. I figure, 15 minutes of enjoyment is worth me picking my clothes back up off the floor.

That being said, I do pull paper out of her mouth and I don't really leave her alone at all...so like I said...we shall see where it goes lol

[koalove]

my ds2 is almost 15 mos and we do tell him no. we are in the same boat as you~ hes incredibly active and has been for a long time and now that hes climbing on the counters and tables, eh eh eh has become a daily phase for us. and he does get it. he walks over to my computer and with his hand almost touching (and an oh so sly grin) he shakes his head no. usually, when i say no no, he goes right on doing what he doing. i think he gets that i dont want him to do that, but he lacks the impulse control. plus the consequence is me running over and scooping him up to whisk him off to some other fun activity. he probably thinks no no means "here i come to tickle you and spin you around and play!"

[mckittre]

Less than 1yr, maybe 10-11 months? But we started with only a few important ones - not touching the woodstove, not touching electrical cords, not pulling animals' fur. As soon as he was mobile enough to cause trouble. I think he had those pretty well down by 12 months. We slowly added more as he seemed ready. But I think he's unusually compliant for a toddler (so far). He's 19 months now, and can understand everything and will almost always do what we ask.

[CookAMH]

We've been saying no for months with our 17mo DS. Granted, he's more reserved and just loves to walk around and isn't a climber, but we don't have issues with pulling the TP off the roll, throwing things in the toilet, etc. We don't really have things at his level that could break or be ruined but there is definitely stuff he could get into if he decided to do it. He leaves the books alone that are on the shelf. There are plenty of toys interspersed for him to play with. He can wander freely on our main floor and doesn't very often get into things he shouldn't. When he does, I make sure he looks me in the eye, I say "No, do not play with that. You need to obey Mama. Leave it alone." I know that he understands that and often listens and sometimes pushes it. In the last two months his comprehension of verbal instructions has increased greatly.

ETA: the only things technically baby-proofed are the baby latches on the two cupboard doors that have the garbage can and dish soap behind them, outlet covers, and we have a gate at the top of the stairs leading to the downstairs family room.

[JessieBird]

We never really baby proofed other than the most serious dangers. We instead use a combination of no and simply ignoring or down-playing the behavior. These days (at 22 mos) saying no more often than not results in a devilish little grin and repetition of the act in earnest. Simply making no big deal out of a mess (or standing on a chair or throwing clothes in the toilet or whatever as long as it's not life or death dangerous) results in DS getting bored and moving on and not being interested in doing whatever it was again. I balance that with really engaging when he is doing something appropriate like playing with toys or rearranging cushions on the couch, etc. This seems to really work for us. DH says no a lot more often than I do and it always ends in tears because he has to be overly firm in order to get over the 'no = fun' reaction. I find it to be more punishment than the offending act warranted most of the time but I respect that we parent differently and that's okay.

To minimize the damage caused by my more laissez-faire approach, there are no breakables in drawers that DS can reach and our house is very minimal and sturdy. The computer is in a hutch that can be closed, that sort of thing.

[redvlagrl]

We babyproofed pretty well here but around 18 mths I began telling DD no for certain things. For instance banging the keyboard while I am trying to be on MDC!

From the very beginning we have told her not to touch the stove/oven because it's hot ("Don't touch; hot!"). As she gets older (she is almost 2) we have become relaxed about leaving the stair gate open as she is fine ont he stairs now and there are potential chokables - we let her play with coins etc. Most of our cabinet latches don't work well so poisons like dishwasher tablets go on top of the fridge. Knives are out of reach on the countertop (pushed to very back). There are breakables out. So I suppose we are in the middle - some babyproofing but not overkill.

The steep stairs down to the basement have a door to them which she can open but there is no lock. So far no problems. Our house is open plan so pretty much I know what she is doing. I don't allow her upstairs without me.

I think it depends on your kiddo, though. DD is fairly laid back. Adventurous to some extent but not a really really active toddler. So she generally doesn't get into stuff she shouldn't. She also tends to listen, especially after one warning.

[blessedwithboys]

Both of my kids were super HN babies and toddler, although ds1 was way more kinetic than ds2.

I was able to undo certain baby-proofed things around the 36mo mark, like take the garbage pail off the counter and put it back on the floor. By the 4th b-day, both were pretty much able to stay out of trouble long enough for me to turn my back and maybe even take a shower while they stayed in the LR.

[CrunchyChristianMama]

I'm not big into baby-proofing (although we did some). I would rather my children learn what is and what is not theirs to touch so that no matter where we go I can tell them what is off limits and they will understand not to touch it.

She is far from perfect at it and needs a lot of reinforcement and reminders, but I still find it preferable.

[DevaMajka]

Originally Posted by The4OfUs

18 months seemed to be the magic age where it was almost as if a switch went off for both my kids where their comprehension and abilities seemed to get to the point where a gentle, firm, consistent NO was less effort than the keeping things out of the way.

Yeah, it's probably a bit early for saying no to be easier than baby proofing (for the most part). There are a few things that can't be easily changed (like he can now climb up on top of the computer :eyeroll). I think we'll start with "no" on the things that just can't be changed, and try as hard as we can to babyproof the rest.

Originally Posted by Daffodil

So that was my experience, but both my kids were (I think) unusually compliant from an early age, so I can't say how well the saying no approach would work for a typical under-18-month-old.

That was my ds1. He was very compliant from a young age, PLUS he was easily kept away from getting into things. I could have put a piece of cardboard in a doorway, and it would have kept him from going through it. Now, he would have whined his head off until I moved it, but he wouldn't move it himself.
Ds2, no such luck! Speaking of which, it sounds like he's doing something that needs my immediate attention. le sigh.

[dawncayden]

We haven't really babyproofed. We have a gate at the top of our stairs. Since we have 20 stairs leading into our living room it makes me nervous to have them running around our living room with the top of the stairs right there. So gate, I think that is it. I don't have chemicals at the kids level, they are up high. Everything else is within reach of the kids except the chairs need to stay pushed into the table or ds2 will climb up there. I keep vases and breakables away from reach.
I always found (with my kids) that babyproofing seemed to make them even more curious about the items I was trying to keep away, so they seemed to get more and more crazy with getting into stuff anc I couldn't keep up.
When ds2 gets into the cupboards I let him for a bit, then I get him to help me put stuff away. If he gets into the cupboard with glass pots and pans I just distract him away from there. We've never had a problem with outlets with both kids. They both know that only plugs can go in there and I get them to help me plug and unplug the vacuum and fan when need be.
Getting into stuff doesn't seem to interest him, so it's pretty easy right now. He's 17 months and has been like this for at least 5 or 6 months.

[The4OfUs]

Originally Posted by DevaMajka

There are a few things that can't be easily changed (like he can now climb up on top of the computer :eyeroll).

<snip>

That was my ds1. He was very compliant from a young age, PLUS he was easily kept away from getting into things. I could have put a piece of cardboard in a doorway, and it would have kept him from going through it. Now, he would have whined his head off until I moved it, but he wouldn't move it himself.

Ds2, no such luck! Speaking of which, it sounds like he's doing something that needs my immediate attention. le sigh.

Don't you hate how they hornswaggle you sometimes by being SO different?

Good LUCK for a while! I remember it well.

[red and lulu]

dd is 14 mo and has been walking for over 3 months. we have the house minimally baby-proofed, as in there are no outlets she can stick her fingers in or heavy, breakable things she can pull down. mostly, we've just consistently been saying "no" and redirecting and it has been much easier than baby-proofing the whole house. now she'll even walk around and point to things she knows she shouldn't touch (like the plants, the cat's water, etc.) and say "no" as she shakes her head and walks away. it's pretty cute.

[LROM]

DD is going on 22 months and I've always felt this secret shame - I work for child welfare and yet we've pretty much hardly babyproofed... ever! But mostly it's because we followed her cues. Early on she understood the concept of "hot" and even things that weren't actually hot but were dangerous (like outlets) if we said "No! Hot!" she got it at like 11 months and older.

She's just never really gotten into dangerous things, and at this stage even the cabinets with cleaning materials in them where we had the few child-proof locks, those are rarely locked because she simply isn't interested.

Granted, we also don't let her roam totally unsupervised, ever. Someone's always got at least one eye on her, and when we need shower or for her to be safe, the bedrooms are all childproofed so we just close the door and she can go in and out of the bathroom/bedroom if I'm in the shower and I don't have to worry.

Long way of saying, I think a lot of what's easier/harder/too early depends on your child's personality and how attracted they are to dangerous stuff. No works just fine for some kids from an early age, but obviously there's some stuff you don't want laying around when you're not sure how your kid is going to be.