Help me feed my kids :(

[chicmom]

I have gotten into a horrible rut with feeding my kids. I have 3 under 5, one of which is autistic. I am currently going through a divorce and we have been living with my family for 3 months. They pretty much eat the same thing everyday:

Toast w/ nutella or a nutrigrain bar for breakfast

Peanut butter bread for lunch with apples and carmel dip.

Chicken nuggets an applesauce for dinner.


Snacks are yogurt, bananas, or crackers.

They each drink about 3 cups of milk/day.

That is it. I don't offer anything new, because they will throw huge tantrums, throw food, and starve. I hate my self for this. I have totally lost control of meals. I dread every meal because I fear that someone if going to throw a fit and I don't want to deal with a tantrum especially now that I am on my own.

Please help...I am willing to cook EVERYTHING from scratch for them. I want to break this habit not only because it is so unhealthy, but also because it sucks cooking for them. I have to cook a separate meal for myself.

Please help me without being judgemental. This is my biggest failure as a mother .

[HappyTomato]

Hey mama,
I made this mistake with my first son. I would rather see him eat something than cry and go without. When he got to be about 5 I was kind of forced to stop sending special lunches to daycare for him because the daycare center came up with alot more rules about what I could or couldn't send. So that's how it started. It took some time but he eventually started eating the daycare lunches and then the next thing I knew he was talking about how good their breakfast was too! Once we got over that hurdle, I gradually started making him different things for dinner at home as well. This part was hard because I had to stick to my guns. I tried to make at least one thing I knew he'd eat so dinner wasn't a complete disaster but I stopped catering the whole meal to him. I put things on his plate that he wouldn't touch but at least I was offering it. If he didn't eat it and was still hungry, too bad. There was crying some nights but then over time the crying turned into eagerness to try new foods and cheering when I made his new favorite thing to eat. The kid will try almost anything now. I can't believe how far he's come in the past 2 years. We're taking the same approach with his little sister that's 2. I don't send special lunches to daycare and more times than not I serve her whatever the rest of the family is eating at dinner time. There are still occasions that I make them both something different for dinner but that is now the exception not the rule. Start with one meal and do it gradually. Its hard but really worth it for their health. HTH

[berry987]

Do you have a blender? Have you tried making smoothies? My kids LOVE them (even my picky 5yo) and it's nice to know he's getting a healthy dose of fruits and veggies in a glass. They have a smoothie every morning, plus whatever else they will eat (toast, eggs, etc.).

2 c milk (or soymilk, almond milk, etc)
1 c frozen blueberries
1/2 c frozen strawberries
1 banana
1-2 c baby spinach (start with a smaller amount and add more once they start loving the smoothies and stop analyzing the flavors )
1/2 c juice (pomegranate or grape)

Blend it all together, taste and add more fruit or juice if it's not yummy enough.

[mrs.t]

Does your child with autism have sensory issues? If so, this could be affecting what he/she will eat...maybe stick with the textures that your DC likes when introducing something new (i.e., crunchy, smooth, etc.), or maybe it's a certain flavor that is preferred.

[ChocolateNummies]

Don't beat yourself up. Feeding nutritionally less-than-perfect meals does not make you a bad mom (I hope )

That list doesn't look absolutely horrible to me. There's some protein, fruit, dairy in there. I'd work to remove sugary stuff and any processed type stuff and replace it with veggies and more whole grain and healthy proteins.

(Putting on psycho babble hat) Also since it sounds like you guys are dealing with a lot of changes, a food routine that your kids can count on may be helping them feel comfortable. Three plus times a day they know exactly what to expect. I imagine you could just modify what they are used to and gradually work towards healthier meals. Just always offer something you know they will eat.

Originally Posted by chicmom

Toast w/ nutella or a nutrigrain bar for breakfast

I'd wean them off of nutella. Offer whole grain toast with cheese, egg, or nut butter. You could also try kippers or sardines but they may be a hard sell. My kids love them, though. Oatmeal with some honey and fruit, or with grated apples, raisins and cinnamon instead of the nutrigrain bar.

Peanut butter bread for lunch with apples and carmel dip.

Sprinkle the apples with cinnamon instead of offering the dip. Try grilled cheese sandwiches. Chicken salad or tuna/salmon salad wrapped in a tortilla. You can finely grate a carrot and/or apple into the salads to add some variety of nutrients.

Chicken nuggets an applesauce for dinner.

You can find recipes for homemade chicken nuggets - just search this forum or google. Or roast a chicken - super easy to do - and serve some of that alongside a veggie. Green beans may be an easier sell than spinach or other greens. Save leftover chicken to make chicken salad or chicken soup - chopped veggies, chicken, seasonings and broth/water and noodles or rice.

Snacks are yogurt, bananas, or crackers.

If the yogurt is flavored then they're usually pretty high in sugar. You can just add some plain yogurt to the flavored to reduce the ratio of sugar - gradually over time increasing the amount of plain yogurt you use. You can also add ground flax seeds or rolled oats or finely chopped nuts to the yogurt - layer the two with fruit for a parfait. Try offering fresh veggies alongside the crackers with a dip or with hummus as a change.

They each drink about 3 cups of milk/day.

I personally would reduce this a bit and try to get them to just drink water. I may be way off base on that, though, and others may disagree.

Most kids love pasta. You can grate veggies into pasta sauce and it won't change the flavor.

A "chinese" rice may go over well. Saute veggies, add scrambled egg or chopped chicken and toss with brown rice. My kids like soy sauce on theirs.

Hamburgers.

Meatballs in gravy over rice or noodles served with a veggie.

Sloppy joes. I brown some ground beef with onions and garlic, add some tomato paste or sauce, a little bit of molasses, salt, a little chili powder, dash of vinegar, bit of mustard (I think that's it. You can tweak it to your liking). Cook til flavors meld and serve on buns or bread. Again you can grate some veggies into it if you like.

Veggies with cheese sauce.

Tacos and quesadillas (basically grilled cheese in tortillas) are also kid friendly.

Baked sweet potato or baked winter squash. Good alone or you can add butter and cinnamon.



Hang in there. Your kids will probably rebel but they won't starve.

[Biscuits & Gravy]

Another thing to try is to offer new items alongside the food they are used to. Instead of replacing what they expect with something new and different, serve it with the usuals. Give them the nutrigrain or toast, but also serve a small dish of oatmeal or scrambled eggs (or whatever you choose obviously!) Keep the portions small so it isn't overwhelming, also so a lot won't be wasted if they resist at first. Encourage them to take one bite. Tell them it is important to fuel their bodies with the nutrients they need, and this new food will help do that. Be consistent. Keep trying, even if they don't eat the new things at first. Kids need more than one exposure to new foods most of the time in order to accept it. Do you eat with them? I find my kids are more willing to try things if everyone in the family is eating the same thing, and we are sitting down together.

Also, get them involved. Have them pick out a new fruit or vegetable they'd like to try. Look at a cookbook together, one with lots of pictures, and ask them what looks good. Let them help you shop for the ingredients, and either watch you cook or get them involved. Washing fruit/veggies, dumping an ingredient into a bowl, or stirring are all simple tasks that they can do. I've given my 4yo a butter knife to help me cut things. Just a couple of slices makes him feel involved, it doesn't take much.

Taking what you give them and offering a healthier version is great, too. Change the caramel dip to nut butter, or sprinkle the apples with cinnamon. Give plain yogurt with fruit mixed in instead of the sugary stuff. Make your own chicken nuggets.

Baby steps are really important. Don't try to overhaul their menu and present something completely different. Make small changes, keep up with them even if they get upset at first, and be consistent with the changes.

[chicmom]

Thanks so much...I must realize that this may take years to accomplish rather than a few weeks or months.

My autistic child may have some sensory issues with new foods, but I really think that it is more his restrictive behaviors that is causing him issues with food. Everything has to be the same everytime or he gets very upset.

The good news is they are all starting daycare next Friday and no outside food is allowed. They will eat breakfast, lunch, and snacks there. Although they are not the healthiest options at the daycare , it will still expose them to new foods without the option of someone making a separte meal for them. Maybe some good ole' peer pressure from the other kids eating, will influence them to try new foods.