Anyone else dealt with seperation anxiety?

[PNCTink]

Here's a little background. My DD has been home with me since she was 14 months old. We don't live near any family and don't leave our children often. I am always home while the kids are awake. In February I had an acute case of pancreatitis caused by a gallstone and was in the hospital for three days. I went to the ER in the middle of the night. When I came home DD became very clingy to me, and i understood why.

I'm sure she's still being affected by this hospital stay, but her anxiety is escalating. I can't even pee without her going into a mini panic attack. Sometimes she comes into bed and wakes up yelling, "Mommy!!" Then she'll put my hand over her and go back to sleep again. Our plan is to start having me go out for short periods of time about once a week (on DH's day off) to show her that I will come home again. She's also newly enrolled in a dance class once a week for 45 minutes, but all the other mothers stay. Does anyone have any other advice or at least a BTDT?

[mtbmomma]

I don't really have any advise, but we are experiencing a bit of the same thing here with my 22 month old DD. It doesn't sound as bad as yours, but I have to do everything for her, put on her clothes, brush her teeth... DH isn't allowed to do any of it. She also has a major melt down if she wakes up and I am gone, and it takes anywhere from 10-20 minutes for DH to calm her down. I assume this is just a stage and, from what I have read, it is best to try not to push it to much and eventually they will realize you aren't going to leave them and get over it. So far we do about the same thing as you are suggesting, having DH watch her for short periods of time, and also having him spend more time with her when I am around. I think it is helping a little, and I figure it will soon pass.

[dahlialia]

When you leave her for short periods, can you also leave something of yours with her? Something she can have, to focus on, to help reassure herself that you aren't gone for good?

[sobamom]

As the mom of a toddler who's gone through some pretty rough (and looong) bouts of separation anxiety, my first instinct would be to assuage your daughter's fears as much as possible--i.e., maybe hold off on trying to encourage independence from you, for now. I know how stressful it can be. But I think the more confident she is of you being around, the quicker she will recover (although I know you wrote this started in February, which was quite a long time ago--hang in there!). When my daughter's anxiety was at its peak, I pretty much brought her everywhere with me. Forget about peeing in private--LOL! Anywhere I had to go, I'd just pick up my daughter and bring her with me because if I didn't, she would always run after me, screaming and in a panic. Do you have a baby carrier that can do a back carry? Sometimes it's so much less stressful to just strap your LO on and go about your day. All the best to you, and I hope your little girl feels better soon! 

[PNCTink]

Thanks for your replies. She is getting better. I used to carry her all the time on my back, but she weighs 48lbs. now and I have some pinched nerves in my back. :) We've been going to three classes during the week and while she's participating I am still there. In each one she will come to see me a couple of times for a kiss or hug and then she goes back. Good news is she's leting me pee AND take the dog out without shrieking. I just need to let her know where I am going, and give her a kiss.

[mommyjamieof2]

I deal with this with my daughter and she is 4!  She has a hard time going to preschool and grandma's while I am at school twice a week and when I am home she is constantly watching my every move.