I didn't celebrate as a child and our family doesn't now. A few things come to mind: Does your daughter know why your family doesn't participate? That helped me when I was younger. Instead of hearing "We don't do this", I had a good reason why our family sat it out, so to speak. While I naturally wanted to fit it, I learned to take pride in my family and our beliefs and I learned that it was okay to be different. While I didn't/don't celebrate Halloween, we always did other fun things. Not to take the place of the holiday, but just because. If she loves to dress up, have a dress-up night at your house, or let her wear her costume to the store or grandma's house on another day. I agree with the other posters about "harvest festivals". They can be so much fun for families. If she is attending school the day of the party, can you make alternate arrangements for her to sit in the library while the festivities are going on? Then pack a special treat bag for her-notebook and stickers, etc. for while she is there to keep her occupied.