3 year old needs surgery, how do I prepare him?

[chelsmm]

We just found out that my 3 year old son needs surgery for an undescended testicle. It will be day surgery. He will get general anesthesia. I can be with him up until he is asleep, and I can be there right after he wakes up. I'm not sure how much to prepare him though. We don't have a date yet, but it's going to be in the next 2-3 months. I am not going to mention the surgery until much much closer to the actual date, but I want to be prepared so when the time comes I can do it right.

He's quite verbal, but he's still only 3 (or will be about 3.5 at the time).

One of my concerns is that I don't know how to explain what they are going to do. It's not like I can say "the doctors are going to fix (something that bothers you or something that hurts)" because his undescended testicle isn't exactly bothering or hurting him. It's not like he'll notice a difference after the surgery, you know? We talk a lot about bodies and how they work. We have been working on making body books (mostly with his big sister, but he listens in on the talks and colors the pages too), so I can do a lesson on the male reproductive organs, I guess. But he IS only three!

Any ideas on what I should tell him? Anyone btdt?

I'm scared enough as it is, I want to make sure he's not scared out of his mind too.

[pbjmama]

I'm sorry I don't have any great advice but I know other mamas will chime in and the hospital should have some resources on how to talk to him also.

[LaLaLaLa]

Are you having the surgery done at a dedicated children's hospital? If possible, I would choose that option. My DD is six years old and has a huge birthmark on her face that is gradually being taken off with plastic surgery. She's had five major surgeries (under general anesthesia) so far, the most recent this summer. (two when she was one year old, and two when she was four years old, plus the one this summer when she was five)

We go to Children's Hospital Boston, and have had nothing but a wonderful experience. These people have thought of everything and really know how to make this a nontraumatic experience for kids. Everyone we've met there, from nurses to surgeons to anesthesiologists, has gone out of their way to be kind and soothing.

No IVs are started until DD is completely out with gas. She doesn't like the gas mask, but they at least try to make that better, too, but offering to put a scent into the mask (they goop flavored lip gloss on the inside, I think, to cover a bit of the gas scent).

They encourage DD to bring a stuffed animal, which they put a hospital bracelet on and put a mask on, too.

A parent is with DD into the operating room, until she is knocked out with the gas. Both of us are in the recovery room as soon as she wakes up, and they give her ice pops and stickers and drive her out to the car in a wheelchair.

No lie, my DD thinks surgery is great. It's a morning entirely focused on her, with everyone paying attention to her, and she gets ice pops and stickers, plus an exciting early-morning ride to the hospital in her pajamas. Afterward, she gets cards and stuff in the mail and we let her watch extra TV. She's never been particularly bothered by the pain, and although they always give us prescriptions for Tylenol with codeine, she generally only takes about one dose of that stuff before she decides it tastes gross and she feels better.

DH is an absolute wreck (hiding it well in front of DD) every time DD has surgery, but she thinks nothing of it.

I'm so sorry you and your little guy have to go through this! I know you're worried about talking too much about it in advance, but we actually have taken the opposite approach, bringing it up at every opportunity until it becomes no big deal, just one more thing on the schedule. "So, Monday is the last day of school, then on Tuesday we'll go to the amusement park, and Wednesday is your surgery. Then over the weekend we'll go to the mall or the library." It makes surgery seem like less of a huge scary thing when we discuss it in the same bland tone of voice we'd discuss going grocery shopping.

Good luck with the process; I'm sure everything will be just fine.

[Attached2Elijah]

Originally Posted by LaLaLaLa

Are you having the surgery done at a dedicated children's hospital? If possible, I would choose that option. My DD is six years old and has a huge birthmark on her face that is gradually being taken off with plastic surgery. She's had five major surgeries (under general anesthesia) so far, the most recent this summer. (two when she was one year old, and two when she was four years old, plus the one this summer when she was five)

We go to Children's Hospital Boston, and have had nothing but a wonderful experience. These people have thought of everything and really know how to make this a nontraumatic experience for kids. Everyone we've met there, from nurses to surgeons to anesthesiologists, has gone out of their way to be kind and soothing.

No IVs are started until DD is completely out with gas. She doesn't like the gas mask, but they at least try to make that better, too, but offering to put a scent into the mask (they goop flavored lip gloss on the inside, I think, to cover a bit of the gas scent).

They encourage DD to bring a stuffed animal, which they put a hospital bracelet on and put a mask on, too.

A parent is with DD into the operating room, until she is knocked out with the gas. Both of us are in the recovery room as soon as she wakes up, and they give her ice pops and stickers and drive her out to the car in a wheelchair.

No lie, my DD thinks surgery is great. It's a morning entirely focused on her, with everyone paying attention to her, and she gets ice pops and stickers, plus an exciting early-morning ride to the hospital in her pajamas. Afterward, she gets cards and stuff in the mail and we let her watch extra TV. She's never been particularly bothered by the pain, and although they always give us prescriptions for Tylenol with codeine, she generally only takes about one dose of that stuff before she decides it tastes gross and she feels better.

DH is an absolute wreck (hiding it well in front of DD) every time DD has surgery, but she thinks nothing of it.

I'm so sorry you and your little guy have to go through this! I know you're worried about talking too much about it in advance, but we actually have taken the opposite approach, bringing it up at every opportunity until it becomes no big deal, just one more thing on the schedule. "So, Monday is the last day of school, then on Tuesday we'll go to the amusement park, and Wednesday is your surgery. Then over the weekend we'll go to the mall or the library." It makes surgery seem like less of a huge scary thing when we discuss it in the same bland tone of voice we'd discuss going grocery shopping.

Good luck with the process; I'm sure everything will be just fine.

Not OP but really wanted to see the replies for this and I thank you for this. My daughter AND son are about to have surgery at Columbus Children's Hospital (DS for inguinal hernia, DD for eye surgery) and that made me feel a lot better about how they will be treated on the day of surgery. I was worried about the IVs as well and knowing they will probably do them after they are out reassures me. We haven't talked about it too much other then in a matter-of-fact way and wasn't too sure how to broach the subject either. So anyway... thank you

[zebra15]

While DS has not had surgery we've had our share of ER visits and I can 2nd the the vote to use a deciated CHILDRENS HOPSITAL (if you have the option). Ds has horrible asthma and the complications that brings on can be something fierce. When I have the time and option I always take him to a pediatric ER or Pediatric urgent care for treatment. They are so much better relating to kids, they have staff to deal with kids needs. Everything is kid sized. The staff understands the psychology of kids. Because the drs and nurses and 'child life specialists' understand kids, mom feels better and DS recovers quicker.

Now if you dont have a kids hospital, I would still see if you have a pediatric wing and look for books and articles they could send you. See if the floor has a 'child life specialist'. Ask around and see what the staff does for kids and how the day is planned out for your DS.

[chelsmm]

Thanks everyone!

LaLaLaLa- thanks for writing that all out. I think I'll end up starting to talk about the surgery/hospital once we get a date. Our library has a litkit with several books, puppets, and dress up costumes (dr and nurse) and I picked up 2 patient gowns at work last night for the kids to play dress up.

He's having it done at Children's Hospital of Boston at Waltham. I have heard good things about it there.