Did your ASD 3yo do this in preschool?

[AnalogWife]

My DS is a muffin muffin muffin. He has an Autism dx and has a profound speech delay and is cuter than you would ever believe. I sort of feel like The Man in the Yellow Hat with him...DS may not talk, but he's "there" and I understand his babbling and his gesturing and pointing, and the signs that he uses. When he started preschool last June at 3y1m I gave the school very little info on him, I didn't know what info would be helpful other than what he arrived with, I figured they were the "experts" and I'm sort of a "fly by the seat of yr pants" kinda gal, so.

I was a *little* surprised...not completely, but still a little...with the casual progress reports, discussed when I picked him up after school. It appeared to me that they were rating his skills lower than what they actually are. It wasn't a giant difference, and most of it seemed to be that either DS wasn't using his signs, or they weren't understanding them.

I do know that DS can be adamant about things he doesn't like (displayed by instant mini-tantrum, usually easily calmed by picking him up) and he's never ever ever ever even given me so much as a "no" headshake whenever I ask him if he wants/is ready to go to school. On the contrary, he's usually excited about it, and this indicates to me that he enjoys school. Even if he has an occasional outburst, it appears he accepts them as a part of his day, his life, and the FUN aspect heavily outweighs any aggrivation over the heavily administered schedule. This pleases me a lot.

The school wanted to get him (and got him) a 1x1 aide, and they also recommended OT and PT on top of his much-needed speech therapy.

We had an IEP meeting last week, and it was conveyed to me that they do not see the progress in the classroom the way they hoped or expected. They said that he has solid foundational skills but has a difficult time "carrying these skills over with the support of an adult" That he is "unable to access his classroom environment w/o the support of a 1:1, due to the language barriers and the high need for hand over hand assistance."

Usually when I pick him up, the issue is over Circle Time. He's not into it and it appears that it is disrupting the class. Are there any Mamas here with a child who is/was like this? I am trying to picture and to believe that he will someday be able to independently follow a classroom routine--or even follow it with the aide. He's in an inclusive classroom with NT peers and they agreed that this is where he should stay.

I'm also "weirded" that I get along with DS so well, and so easily, things are so easy-going, usually. Reading this IEP notice consistently refers back to DS's "difficulties" with the summer program, and the difficulties he has in the classroom. Almost as though he is a bona fide problem. But he loves it so much! What is going on here?

***ETA,
FWIW, at that same IEP meeting, the PT told me that 2 of the younger aides were fighting over him. The OT joked that he was 'popular' and I asked whether he was popular, they all popped out with favorable reports on how cute he is, how cute his "ways" are. One of them said he wanted to take him home. The following week there were more "cuteness" reports, so I know on some level they really like him. I'm just not sure how to process the other messages of his classroom behavior. He is my only child and I admit that I don't have a solid grasp on how 3yos are supposed to develop, behave. Is it recommended that I calibrate? How/why would I do so? I also admit that I love love love our little family life and sometimes dream of just living together on a farm somewhere, happily. It's when the "real world" breathes down at us that I get anxious and a little sad about DS's future. TIA

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by AnalogWife

It's when the "real world" breathes down at us that I get anxious and a little sad about DS's future. TIA

I complete relate to this! My DD is now 13 and in many ways is just a peach. I really love spending time with her one on one. The "real world" however, just freaks her (and therefore me) out.

It wasn't a giant difference, and most of it seemed to be that either DS wasn't using his signs, or they weren't understanding them.

I think it's very hard for people to figure out exactly what is going on with an ASD kid. Because the communication piece is so difficult, it can be very hard for to figure out is going on in their heads.

Usually when I pick him up, the issue is over Circle Time. He's not into it and it appears that it is disrupting the class. Are there any Mamas here with a child who is/was like this? I am trying to picture and to believe that he will someday be able to independently follow a classroom routine--or even follow it with the aide.

We didn't do preschool (which now I kinda regret) but DD can now sorta follow a classroom routine. She went to public school last year with some success, and is doing VERY well this year in an alternative school. There is hope.

FWIW, at that same IEP meeting, the PT told me that 2 of the younger aides were fighting over him. The OT joked that he was 'popular' and I asked whether he was popular, they all popped out with favorable reports on how cute he is

A lot of my DDs teachers like her, even her mainstream teachers at public school. She's sweet, quiet, and thoughtful. She barely speaks to people outside our family, but other people like her anyway.

[laurata]

Originally Posted by AnalogWife

Reading this IEP notice consistently refers back to DS's "difficulties" with the summer program, and the difficulties he has in the classroom. Almost as though he is a bona fide problem. But he loves it so much! What is going on here?

I think this is really really common with educators, based on what my son's autism doc and my mother (an educator/ admin) has said. Teachers tend to focus on areas of weakness and tend to forget to focus on areas of strength.

My son really couldn't "do" circle time the last two years. I'm not sure if he's doing better with it this year or not. However, some of the tools that have helped included "This OR That" options (eg, You may sit on your carpet square OR sit in the wobble chair), fidgets, and picture schedules.

[RemiJP]

One thing to keep in mind with IEP meetings is that the school team HAS to use certain language in order to justify the type and frequency of help the child needs in the classroom. Trust me, no teacher or therapist is thrilled to talk about a child's "difficulties" or "disruptive behaviors" in this light. Often times this is much harsher language than we'd use to normally describe a students abilities. So it's not that your son is a problem student, it just means he should continue receiving the therapeutic services he's had. But when it comes down to it, this is how we get children the help they deserve. You should take those quick conversations and short progress reports from teachers and therapist seriously because that language is the heartfelt, honest truth about your son! Everyone does seem to know how sweet he really is!

[DaughterOfKali]

My son is almost 8 and still has difficulty with 'circle time'. Having him sit in a soft, cushioned seat with a back helps.

At age 3, my ds couldn't handle preschool. It was too much stimulation. (I did bring him to preschool for PT, ST, OT.) He did (and still does) much better in smaller groups.
Also, it takes the teachers (each year) time to understand how he works.
Give it another month and see if things get better.

[mama516/419]

My son has no language skills ( he cant understand what we say or talk) but he does have a few basic signs. He has an EI pre speech group we go to for an hour every friday , hes gone all summer and still turns into Tazz during circle time . We tried chairs, sitting on my lap, vibrating mouthing toys, lots of stuff . He just doesnt like it - I figure he feels like I would feel forced to listen to a lecture in Latin . He may be able to grasp pieces but is mostly frustrated. I hope when my son goes to Preschool he gets a 1:1 that knows to sign