2.5 yr old twins won't settle in studio apt. Lost my patience.

[DeerMother]

The stats -
- 2.5 yr old b/g twins each with their own crib
- taking over two hours to settle
- I'm single, just moved to my parents basement, like a studio apt
- they take a calcium/ magnesium supplement and I started them on valerian
- same bedtime routine for over a year
- I can cosleep with ds
- dd does not respond well to cosleeping. She thinks it is a party.
- curtain hanging dividing my space from theirs. I NEED a few hours of alone time to recharge
- ds needs a nap
- dd would like to give hers up but she turns into a crankmonster at 5 if she skips it

I'm at a total loss. I got so angry tonight. They were standing and jumping in their beds, laughing, yelling. I had a dim lamp on my side of the curtain so I could knit. I hear it all- need to potty, need a snack, need a drink, a different book. I do the choice thing with discipline. You can choose to do x and keep y or if you choose to do b, you don't get c. Tried that tonight, I took away imaginary friends, tv, suckers, princesses and storytime. As I'm saying this, I'm thinking, there is no way I can take away their imaginary play. I was just so mad! This was 1.5 hours into the whole fiasco. Now that I've turned off my lamp, they're being quiet. But I'm not going to sit in the dark for two hours waiting for them to go to sleep. Should I read in the bathroom? Sheesh.

If I take valerian, I'm out in minutes. Why isn't that working? I wanted to try calm forte but the store was out. I suppose I could try to separate their beds, but we are in a pretty small space.

Any advice, please. Or if you have a magic toddler wand, I'd like to borrow it. *

[GearGirl]

It will pass, it will pass, IT WILL PASS. I have one the age of your twins, and he is truly hard to get to sleep. I can either nurse him for an hour plus or he keeps getting up. I do know from my older two though that at this age they are often getting too much nap in to really go to sleep at a reasonable time. With my dd (now 7), we had to give up the nap at two and a half because she wouldn't go to sleep before 11 until we did. She was nightmare at about 5, but then her bedtime became about 6:45, and that was pretty nice, and slowly inched up to about 7:30 over the next few years, to finally 8:30 at the age of 7. The same seems to be true for my 2 year old, I think he is going to have to give up naps soon. In contrast my oldest (now 10) would wake up at 5:30 am no matter what, if he went to bed early, late, had a nap, whatever. It was brutal. I guess what I'm trying to say is they are all different, and you aren't doing anything wrong, they just don't seem like they are ready for bed when you are putting them down. I would try something new with their schedule, and go from there. Good luck!

[kinley]

It is always hard to bring up kids in an apartment and in the case of twins there can be no words on the difficulties a mother is going to face. If you can afford to buy a house then it can be of help. But if the answer is no then try to find a full time nanny. It is not easy to choose but I don’t see any other way other than these.

[elmh23]

How long have you been in the new place? 2-year-olds are hard to get to bed anyway, but adding in a new place will set back their routine while they adjust. It sounds like your kids need a dark enviorment to get to sleep, so I would turn off the light until they go to sleep. I wonder if you were to just turn off the light at bedtime, would they be asleep in 10 minutes vs. 2hrs? I know my youngest is like that. He'll stay up playing for ever if the light is on, but turn it off and he's out in 10 minutes.

Good luck!

[lalaland42]

OP, you just moved. I'd keep things as usual as possible and hope they settle back into their normal routine ASAP.

Originally Posted by kinley

It is always hard to bring up kids in an apartment and in the case of twins there can be no words on the difficulties a mother is going to face. If you can afford to buy a house then it can be of help. But if the answer is no then try to find a full time nanny. It is not easy to choose but I don’t see any other way other than these.

Are you going to buy me a new house or pay for my hypothetical nanny after you pay for the OP's?

[starling&diesel]

Well, if buying a house or hiring a nanny doesn't work for your budget or SENSIBILITIES, then how about reading or knitting with a book light? You know, one of those ones that clip on. Or, can you (or your folks if they're handy) build a tall solid divider?
What about Rescue Remedy Sleep?
A white noise machine?
Minding sugar intake?
More physical activities to tucker the heck outta those cuties?
My dd is 21 months and we're taking over an hour to get her settled over these last couple of weeks. I can only hope for myself and you that this phase will pass!

[MeepyCat]

I agree that it'll pass.

I think it's pretty interesting, though, that they settle right away after you turn the light off. Given the choices you have, I'm not sure I wouldn't opt for reading in the bathroom (is there a tub? That could work nicely - you generate white noise while filling it and then you get some you time while up to your neck in hot water). But I wonder if lower, more focussed light would help, or if a more opaque curtain with fewer gaps would.

[Juvysen]

I agree, it'll pass. My only thought that might help is aromatherapy and soft music (I assume you're doing the music, at least?)... but lavender can be very soothing. Just a thought. Give them time, though, moving is tough on kids.