Trilingual 2 and a half year old boy

[Orro]

Hello mothers.

I was wondering if there’s anyone who can help up with my condition, my son (2 and a half years old) is currently staying at home with me ( i love it and considering homeschooling ) he knows many things and most of the words he knows in all the 3 languages (Japanese, Hebrew and English) the thing is he is completely not into communicating yet he is completely skilled in naming objects
which his father really likes but to me (after about 6 months of collecting words and repeating them constantly every day - mostly cars trains trucks submarines robots and such) it is rather frustrating because he hardly uses words of communication unless he wants something specifically and instantly and even then he would name the object but would not say -"Mom i want that or this"
He would simply say "lets go" in 3 languages but without specification of where to - he would drag me to the door when he wants to go out but would not say "i want to go to the park"
i really don’t know what to do about it and feeling like it must be something in my instructions/guidance that is completely wrong
Thank you for your time

[MusicianDad]

Children develop language skills at different times. Really I wouldn't worry too much about this for two reasons.

1) He's only two, at that age there is a rather wide variation in language development.

and 2) bi and multilingual children do have a higher tendency to be behind the curve language wise in the early years. This, however, often reverses itself to the point where at an older age these children can often have a higher proficiency in all their languages than a child with only one language they speak fluently.

[ShwarmaQueen]

My DD was only saying simple, short phrases at 3 (raised with English, Arabic, Urdu), but now, she never stops talking! It is pretty normal. Just keep speaking in full sentences, in your language (or however you do it).

[meemee]

is it creating a problem?

are you having trouble communicating?

its a personality thing and some children form language in different ways.

it really has nothing to do with trilingual. my dd grew up speaking 6 languages at ur son's age but she had no problems communicating. that was just her style. she started talking really, really young. it was mostly me having a problem since i didnt know 3 of the languages she'd picked up from my neighbors.

also be prepared. he just might turn out to be the child who does not like communicating very much.

i would not be concerned unless it was affecting your life. meaning he wasnt able to ask for orange juice in a way that you would understand. he is still pretty new to speaking if he has been collecting words in the last 6 months. dd didnt speak in sentences or string words together long enough for one thought till a year and a half after she started talking.

so him saying lets go is actually quite ok. so you ask where and he will tell you. i see no problem with that.

[Orro]

Hey you all!

Musiciandad and Shawarmaqueen
it is great to hear all that warm encouraging words here.
quite delighting indeed.

the thing is Meemee - i am not a great communicator myself and so is his father (socially speaking)
although we can communicate quite nicely over the internet , writing letters etc.
now that i am thinking about it i am almost certain that somthing in the way we interact with him might cause him to be sort of lazy about it because we have the patience and the will to direct him to show what he actually means ,the problem is when he interacts with other children at about his age and here in Japan the kids are quite impatience especially when it comes to a wild child as my son () who doesn't follow rules without testing "why" first.
and so it turns out that they simply dont understand him and treating him quite nasty i would say ,with other halfish he actually manage quite well and even showing some effort to express himself in anyway i do not see any connection to him being "uncommunicative" potentially.
i do try however to see what is the mistake i am doing - if at all.

[Eclipsepearl]

I'm not hearing anything unusual.

My son didn't talk AT ALL until he was 2 1/2. He's not a very "needy" child and really didn't feel a great urge to express himself. He's still like that BUT today he's trilingual.

My second spoke early. I fed them the same things and loved them both the same but I heard sentences at 20 months, in both languages with no mixing. The one difference; she is still very high needs.

Everyone said "first borns speak latter!" or "girls speak earlier!" Perhaps true BUT we had a third. A girl and our third. What did she do? Spoke almost as late as her brother did. Go figure!!!

She's totally bilingual too (learning her third at school).

Here's a video of the third one at about 2 1/2. She would say "Oh" for something she wanted, so at the end, when she says "Oh pee pee", well, you can figure it out.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KS8tOVwr5gQ

So if your son is not pointing at the right body parts either, take heart.

P.S. How exactly are you organizing the three languages? Some organizing might prompt him to talk earlier.

[Orro]

Eclipsepearl

thank you for the cute cute video she is adorable!!!!


regarding our "organization" of the 3 languages he hears constantly it goes about like that
at the beginning he was mostly exposed to Hebrew and English -his father didn't use much of his Japanese skills until he was about 1.5 year old when we moved to Japan.
for the last year or so he hears Japanese quite rapidly around him that is in the house -his father and grandparents , uncle ,English - since i am raising him at home we go to all sorts of play group where the children and parents both speaks English (and so when we are together with them i speak English with him)
his father and i speak a mixture of Hebrew English and Japanese ,and at home when theres just my charmo and i we speak Hebrew.

[physmom]

Originally Posted by meemee

i would not be concerned unless it was affecting your life. meaning he wasnt able to ask for orange juice in a way that you would understand. he is still pretty new to speaking if he has been collecting words in the last 6 months. dd didnt speak in sentences or string words together long enough for one thought till a year and a half after she started talking.

We had the same experience. DD was an early talker also. But it took her between 1-1.5 years after she said her first words to be able to speak in sentences. I posted something similar awhile back and many mentioned the same experience with bilingual/trilingual kids that it took longer for them to form sentences. We never had a delay in the number of words she spoke (actually she's always been quite a bit ahead on that) but the sentences seemed to take awhile. When I made my post someone mentioned something interesting. It takes about 50-500 words first before kids start speaking in sentences. DD was probably closer to 500 words before she started (although we've long ago stopped counting).

I was also concerned for awhile because DD just does not talk to other kids much. Her at home speaking skills are very different then when she's in public (she's pretty much mute). However, when I posted about that too people said it was pretty normal even up to about 5 years old!

The only thing that comes to mind. You say that your husband and yourself have poorer communication skills... do you read a lot to him? If that's the case he's at least can get proper sentence formation from books (and even if you have good communication skills I've noticed that some books include sentences forms that I would not normally use so it gives DD a wider range of sentences to hear).

[meemee]

i am not sure if you talking a lot to a child makes them into a talker.

i think communicator depends on their personality. one of my friends who parented similarly both kids has a quiet kid and a talker. their dad is a talker but mom quiet.

so i dont think you are doing anything wrong.

i think it just might be a family trait. my ex and his whole family are that way. 5 boys and none of them are talkers.

it is sad thought that he is being treated so shabbily by his playmates. it is so sad that children learn so young that if you dont fit the box they are up for teasing.

perhaps i think instead of communicating you want him to be assertive. that again is a personality trait.

does your son get upset by their behaviour? does he notice?

here's a story. my dd's bf with red hair totally ignores bullies or anyone that teases him. has since he was little. it isnt that he is scared or upset. he really doesnt care. dd on the other hand is a fire cracker and will voice her opinion. in fact she goes and 'defends' him if the teasing happens in front of her. its funny to see he completely ignores the other child, while my dd chases that child all over the playground.

[Orro]

Originally Posted by physmom

The only thing that comes to mind. You say that your husband and yourself have poorer communication skills... do you read a lot to him? If that's the case he's at least can get proper sentence formation from books (and even if you have good communication skills I've noticed that some books include sentences forms that I would not normally use so it gives DD a wider range of sentences to hear).

the thing is ,its not really about us having poor communication skills,it is more about our family being slightly isolated ,i would say that in the area where we live in Japan we are not really managing to well socialize i guess it has to do a lot with the fact my husband is not a very social person and in some ways so is myself - i am not sure if thats the right way to describe myself since i do have some close friends in my homeland and even here it is just that they live quite far away...
i do read him quite a lot and he indeed enjoys books and reading very much - he is also progressing learning how to read by himself (we work on that almost every day since he is a great fan of letters and numbers!)
i do thank you though it calms me down to know that theres nothing much to worry i mean i tend not to worry and when i do that my husband makes me worried for not being worried...

[Orro]

Originally Posted by meemee

it is sad thought that he is being treated so shabbily by his playmates. it is so sad that children learn so young that if you dont fit the box they are up for teasing.

perhaps i think instead of communicating you want him to be assertive. that again is a personality trait.

does your son get upset by their behaviour? does he notice?

here's a story. my dd's bf with red hair totally ignores bullies or anyone that teases him. has since he was little. it isnt that he is scared or upset. he really doesnt care. dd on the other hand is a fire cracker and will voice her opinion. in fact she goes and 'defends' him if the teasing happens in front of her. its funny to see he completely ignores the other child, while my dd chases that child all over the playground.

Luckily he isn't getting upset that much he simply ignores them ,i just find it hard to handle mostly because some of them are mainly teasing him for being halfish ,but then again it seems like i am getting hurt by their behavior more then he does because in a way he have an exploring muse that always manage to help him leave the scene before things are getting rough...
funny thing is that whenever he goes with his father to play in the park the way the children are treating him flips upside down and they hardly find themselve in such situations - i guess it is I who is causing it

[meemee]

AHA!!!! yes children are little geniuses. they have this built in radar to know EXACTLY what buttons to push on you. they pick up waaaaay too much.

i know it is our natural instinct to protect our children from what we think is wrong. so i can totally relate to you.

what i will say is work on yourself. i have a halfish too. learn to completely ignore that behaviour. i dont know how you can do that. whatever it takes. look upon on it as jealousy for what your son has being halfish rather than 'fullish' no eye surgery. no bone surgery probably.

those bullies are pretty sad boys actually. they dont know how to properly challenge their desire to have what your son has. a whole other country as home. or some simple thing.

i think your son behaving the way he does is really great for adulthood. i wish my dd had it instead of being assertive. she being assertive means she is getting 'hooked' and thus upset and affected and sad. i would much rather she be able to just ignore the emotional aspect of it.