Anyone had a UC as an overseas military dependant?

[OkiMom]

I'm currently expecting our third child. First was a hospital birth(active duty at the time and told I had no choice, also consented to an epidural becuase labor was freaking my husband out.. they messed up on the epidural and I have lasting back problems because of it) and the second was an unexpected UC followed by a transfer to the hospital (which I totally regret but freaked because i had been told during pregnancy that if I had the baby at home even accidently they would send me and the children back to the states without my husband.. because I transferred they found reasons to keep the baby for 6 days in the NICU, it was hell on me). This time Im a bit better informed, for example I know how that no home births are not illegal in Japan. I was told they were illegal and that is why you would be sent home because you violated the countries laws by having the baby at home.

So, anyone here had a baby UC while a dependent of an active duty person overseas? Specifically in Japan. Suggestions? I don't want my DH to get in trouble with his command but at the same time I REALLY don't want to have the baby at the hospital here (C-section heaven is what its been joking nicknamed by quite a few women I know, they LOOK for reasons to give C-Sections to women). Hes command is actually very lenient, I don't' see there being a problem but I worry because.. well Im a worrier and that is what I do

I'm totally comfortable with having the baby with just my husband. Hes totally comfortable with me having the baby at home given certain conditions. Basically he wants to monitor my blood pressure (with DD1 my blood pressure spiked in labor but I think it was because i was in a hospital and I have an extreme dislike of hospitals) and a way to monitor the baby's heartbeat. Hes told me he thinks I do a better job with it myself than the doctors do taking care of me and the only reason he would see needing a hospital is if something happens where it makes me high risk (high blood pressure basically or the baby's heart rate dropping)

We are going to sit down and talk about this when he gets home but hes at training right now (hes in Guam, we are in Japan.. international reception stinks!) so Im looking for information before I talk to him about it. Thanks!

[MittensKittens]

How about "planning" a hospital birth, and then taking an "Oops, it happened so fast" approach? You don't have to admit to having an intentional UC if you are not comfortable with that.

[spatulagirl]

Well, I had an unintentional UC in Sicily as a military dependent. We called the hospital though and they sent an ambulance. Baby was born by the time they got there. We didn't get in trouble... the UC really was an accident but I also didn't want the baby in the hospital so we tried to time it to arrive just in time to push. Obviously we left the house too late. Baby was born in our car on the side of the road.

A friend of mine had an intentional UC and it caused a lot of problems. They had it out in the economy and didn't bring the baby in for a few days. His command was not happy and he almost got court martialed. When they got pregnant again (this time living on base), they were brought in by the hospital and his command and told he would get court martialed if they had another UC.

So when she went into labour, they got a hotel room on base and popped on over to the hospital to push. She basically got there, pushed over the toilet and her DH caught the baby. The doctor just sat there and watched. They didn't take any crap from anyone, but they were following orders.

Is there a birth center near you? Which base are you at? When I lived in Japan (as a civilian expat, that was where I met my DH who was stationed there) I had a few Japanese and expat friends who gave birth at birth centers with Japanese midwives. They all enjoyed the experience.

[Banana731]

Yes I did, in Okinawa as a matter of fact. It was fine. There are a few things I wish I had known beforehand, but overall, it was not that hard to get the things I needed to have done afterward.

Are you UCing because you want to UC, or just because you don't want to go to the MTF? Because there is a birth center there and hb midwives who are happy to attend American births on base or off (if you are still on island).

PM me if you want info either way.

[Banana731]

Originally Posted by spatulagirl

A friend of mine had an intentional UC and it caused a lot of problems. They had it out in the economy and didn't bring the baby in for a few days. His command was not happy and he almost got court martialed. When they got pregnant again (this time living on base), they were brought in by the hospital and his command and told he would get court martialed if they had another UC.

They would not have been able to punish him in any way legally, and those that threatened him should have been reported. They would have gotten in a lot of trouble. A service member can't even access his dependent spouse's medical records, let alone be considered responsible in anyway for the choices she makes about her care, or lack there of.

Believe me, dh's command was not happy about it, he worked at the military hospital. But there wasn't a thing they could do about it, and we knew it, and they knew we knew it as well. His superiors knew that my dh was too well informed to even try to pull that nonsense. He was pretty infamous around there for a while though!

[lovemyzoo]

Originally Posted by Banana731

They would not have been able to punish him in any way legally, and those that threatened him should have been reported. They would have gotten in a lot of trouble. A service member can't even access his dependent spouse's medical records, let alone be considered responsible in anyway for the choices she makes about her care, or lack there of.

Believe me, dh's command was not happy about it, he worked at the military hospital. But there wasn't a thing they could do about it, and we knew it, and they knew we knew it as well. His superiors knew that my dh was too well informed to even try to pull that nonsense. He was pretty infamous around there for a while though!

If the command pushed it they could get him in trouble calming he was with holding her from receiving medical care. Making the uc his fault for not letting her leave and not her fault for not wanting to go. PLus by not taking the baby in he can get in trouble cause he has the requirement to report all dependents and make sure they fall under SOFA and are able to receive care which technically the baby didn't since they didn't have any birth report or paperwork for DEERS to hold over till the passport come in.
I would look for a homebirth doc or someone even if it means going to standard then then calling them to late and UC you have someone official for the paperwork for the birth report and DEERs paperwork. Plus the look over is done by someone at your house and no need to worry about the clinic keeping the baby as a patient for any reason.

[Banana731]

Originally Posted by lovemyzoo

If the command pushed it they could get him in trouble calming he was with holding her from receiving medical care. Making the uc his fault for not letting her leave and not her fault for not wanting to go. PLus by not taking the baby in he can get in trouble cause he has the requirement to report all dependents and make sure they fall under SOFA and are able to receive care which technically the baby didn't since they didn't have any birth report or paperwork for DEERS to hold over till the passport come in.
I would look for a homebirth doc or someone even if it means going to standard then then calling them to late and UC you have someone official for the paperwork for the birth report and DEERs paperwork. Plus the look over is done by someone at your house and no need to worry about the clinic keeping the baby as a patient for any reason.

That would never hold up, they couldn't prove it.

By that logic, if they had a homebirth under any circumstances than he would get in trouble for not reporting the baby as a dependent the second she comes out of moms vagina. That's just not the case. Homebirth, attended or not, is legal in both Japan and the US.

Whether you "oops" or not, you are going to have a hard time finding a provider willing to sign that report if they didn't see the birth.

There is an "emergency" provisional DEERS enrollment that is good for somewhere around a month so that you can bring the baby in to the MTF to be seen when you like, you can do it without the birth report. (that's what we did) You bring the report of live birth in when you get it and then do the regular DEERS stuff.

You get the live birth report from the city office of the town that you live in whether you live on base or not. You don't have to have a professional sign it as a witness. In Okinawa (so I imagine also in the rest of Japan) you have a very brief interview with an official from the office and then they give you the live birth report that you need to get into DEERS properly and to get the consular report of birth abroad. If you have an attended hb, the only difference is that your midwife fills out that form and signs it for you, and there is no interview. You still have to physically take it to the city office and bring it to DEERS.

[Jacksonmom]

Just figured I'd throw in here that my sister UC'd on Okinawa. I was there. They took the baby in the next day. Minimal backlash.

[spatulagirl]

The story I told occurred in Sicily, where homebirth is illegal and against the SOFA. Hence, them getting in "trouble".

Japan I imagine would be fine. I chose to give birth in the military hospital there with my first and wished I hadn't.