Help me not feel guilty about hiring a bi-weekly house cleaner

[Amila]

DH finally agreed, since we are trying to sell our house, I have #3 on the way, am taking 2 classes, and he can't take off of work for more than a day when this little one arrives. We can def afford it, but somehow I just feel guilty or something. I generally suck as a housekeeper, though the place is usually picked up- I just don't have time to scrub tubs and stuff.

Help me learn to love this new arrangement! (I really really want to!)

[Caneel]

If you keep the house generally picked up, you absolutely deserve to have a cleaner as a reward!

Seriously, you are providing someone with a job. There should be no guilt in that.

[peainthepod]

Why should you feel guilty, mama? You can afford it, you're providing a job for someone who might otherwise be unemployed or underemployed, and it will help you find more time to do things you want to be doing.

I've had a housekeeper off and on since my first was born and don't regret a thing. Nobody says on their deathbed, "Man, I wish I'd spent more time scrubbing toilets!" The time not spent cleaning is time spent with your family, or pursuing a hobby, or just sitting around taking a few minutes to yourself for a change. These are worthwhile ways to spend time even when they look like nothing.

Don't feel guilty for taking care of yourself. There's nothing wrong with hiring help when you need it...or even if you just want it.

[weliveintheforest]

It is a good use of time and money! A professional can get a lot done in a short time, and free you up to do things that are more important. When we can afford it, we will absolutely hire a cleaner.

[eclipse]

OMG, I love having a house cleaner! It felt weird at first, but a year later and I'm OVER it . It really reduces stress in our house!

[RiverTam]

Originally Posted by peainthepod

Why should you feel guilty, mama? You can afford it, you're providing a job for someone who might otherwise be unemployed or underemployed, and it will help you find more time to do things you want to be doing.

This.

You need help. Somebody else needs a job. I hire privately, so that I can be sure my housecleaner is paid fairly, but other than that, I don't feel guilty.

[blizzard_babe]

No guilt. Our hunter-gatherer ancestors shared resources and labor and therefore increased their productivity. One was an adept berry-picker, so another woman would watch (and often, cross-nurse) her kids while she brought in more than the two women could have done if they were both chasing after kids. One man might gather firewood for several households, while another, a very skilled hunter, might bring home meat for several. Shared labor. We weren't meant to do it all in a two-adult nuclear household.

What you're doing is just the modern version. You're sharing resources (money... our equivalent of berries, firewood, and meat) in exchange for someone else's assistance.

It just feels weird because we, as a society, are kind of stuck in this "SuperMom and SuperDad should be able to do the work of an entire village, because their home is their castle" mentality. We feel weird accepting help from someone, even when they are justly and fairly compensated.

Anthropological jabber aside... I had a friend who worked as a housekeeper and she said that a decent chunk of here clients were middle-class (not upper-middle-class) SAHMs. She found that SAHMs spent all day PICKING UP and didn't have time to clean. WOHMs didn't have the clutter of an entire day to deal with. Vacuuming is easy when there are no toys on the floor because the kids haven't been home (though as a WOHM, I know that finding the ENERGY to vacuum is totally another matter).

I know that DH (who stays home with DS during the day) and I (home with DS in the evenings) spend most of our time PICKING UP, and very (very, very, very) little time actually cleaning... until the weekend, when one or the other of us just gets completely fed up and cleans and the other keeps DS out of the way and prevents him from creating further mess. During the week, keeping a "zero balance" of clutter is the full-time job, never mind scrubbing toilets.

[shelleyd]

DO NOT FEEL GUILTY for devoting less time to scrubbing! Seriously if you can afford it just enjoy it. It means more time for more important things and a job for somebody else. I wish I had a housecleaner. I feel guilty when I don't spend enough time with my family, but not my cleaning supplies

[EFmom]

I know exactly what you mean, and you shouldn't feel guilty.

I should do it, too. We don't have money to burn exactly. But we come up with money for violin lessons, flute lessons, tae kwon do, Y-guides, campouts, ballet and tap, college funds, etc.

Why is it that I never put my foot down and say, hey, what about me? I hate cleaning and don't have time for it and it's always hanging over my head and making me miserable?

[Snapdragon]

no guilt- it is great to have a clean house- and having someone help clean it frees up lots of energy for other things. I got a once a wk housecleaner for a couple months after ds was born. It was great except I started feeling really weird about having her in my personal space. She did a good job but I didn't like her energy- and it made me feel super uncomfortable. So now I don't have one again but I keep thinking how nice it would be, if I can find someone I feel fine with. No guilt, it is a nice thing to have someone help you with this!

[DariusMom]

Originally Posted by peainthepod

Why should you feel guilty, mama? You can afford it, you're providing a job for someone who might otherwise be unemployed or underemployed, and it will help you find more time to do things you want to be doing.

I've had a housekeeper off and on since my first was born and don't regret a thing. Nobody says on their deathbed, "Man, I wish I'd spent more time scrubbing toilets!" The time not spent cleaning is time spent with your family, or pursuing a hobby, or just sitting around taking a few minutes to yourself for a change. These are worthwhile ways to spend time even when they look like nothing.

Don't feel guilty for taking care of yourself. There's nothing wrong with hiring help when you need it...or even if you just want it.

This. All of it.

Plus, men, in general, don't feel guilty about taking a car to the mechanic, hiring someone to mow the lawn, etc. Why? Because they know how to take care of themselves plus, in general, there is no guilt associated with traditionally male jobs being outsourced because they are "skilled" jobs. But, somehow, traditionally female work such as housekeeping is considered "unskilled" and, therefore, anyone should be able to do it. Not true. My housekeeper is much more efficient and skilled than I could ever be. Furthermore, there's this pervasive idea that housekeeping is so denigrating a task that having someone else do it is exploitative . . .. . interesting that a traditionally female job/work should be considered in that way . . ..

[karika]

if you can afford it, it is absolutely a wonderful thing. People that clean houses for a living need to have a way to make a living. You are stimulating the economy and possibly helping to ensure another family a Christmas to remember and being able to afford Thanksgiving. Any time a person can afford to hire help for the house or garden, they are spreading the wealth.

[Linda on the move]

totally agree with the others!

It's the best money we've ever spent on my mental health, and it puts me in such a good mood, that my dh LOVES house cleaning day.

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

Why feel guilty about employing someone in this economy?

Im SUPER JEALOUS actually. I HATE CLEANING. Im alright with maintenance, but when it comes to a DEEP cleanse, i just HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT! Good for you!

[homewithtwinsmama]

No need to feel guilty. I had just reached a level of comfort where I was about to hire someone myself and husband lost his job. Six months of unemployment and used up all savings so now can't even think about it. But, I still aspire to it. I see no reason not to if you can afford it and it makes your life easier and you able to focus on your family more.

[kittywitty]

Guilty? Honey I'm dying of jealousy! Go you!

[kkfum]

Great blog post about this very topic:
http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/20...a-housekeeper/

[LemonPie]

I needed this thread! I just hired someone who came for the first time last week and I think I'm hooked. She did the mini blinds and the ceiling fans and scrubbed out the hard water rings in the toilets and vacuumed the baseboards and knocked down cobwebs (we have vaulted ceilings and they get bad ) and etc etc etc. All the things I never have time to get to.

I agree with the person above who said there is a lot of 'picking-up' but not a lot of deep cleaning. We just started HS this year too and I can't believe how much of the day that occupies. I felt guilty about the money, but honestly we spend more eating out than I spend on my house cleaner. I figure if it frees up some time for me to get a few more home-cooked meals in it will even out. And DH pointed out too that we are helping someone else out in this difficult economy.