Narrowminded Vent! Learning only happens in textbooks!!

[MrsJewelsRae]

Does everyone else find this? Why do people seem to think that just cause your kid's nose isn't buried in a textbook or completing a worksheet, they must not have learned anything? And it's like they assume that every day at public school is filled with learning and teaching every hour they are there. We got off to a great start with homeschooling this year, despite having been through one heck of a horrible month prior with my toddler having whooping cough and myself quite ill as well. Then last week we had another bump in the road, I had a wisdom tooth abscess- very painful!!! So we packed up and went to my Mom's house 4 hrs away so she could take care of the kids while I recovered as dh had to work. I was in bed for most of the week hopped up on T3 for the pain. The kids had a great time- Nana took them swimming for hours every day in the next door neighbour's heated pool and hot tub (got to practice the things they learned in their summer lessons), Papa took them fishing, they baked, they did crafts, they read books and did Sudoku, they gardened, they went for long walks and to the park and the beach. Certainly not a lost week.

So we get home and MIL and FIL come over for a visit. They were never supportive of hs from the start (FIL taught for 30 yrs in ps) but have gotten better over the last year. MIL asked dd what she learned at school that day (friday) and dd happily chirps "nothing, we didn't do school today!". So MIL looked at me askance and I just ignored her, then she asked if we had a PA day. I was showing FIL our pics of the kids swimming and fishing, and MIL says "well it doesn't look like you could have gotten too much school done with all of that". Hello, I had to have unplanned surgery, can you give me a bit of a break!!?? Besides, they are 6 and 8- how much could they have really missed!!?? So I just openly and confidently stated that we took the week off and she was all worried about them needing to put in extra hours to catch up. Oy. So annoying!!! They can read! They can write! They are great in math! They are versed in ancient history! They learn Bible stories every day! What more do you want!!??

Why do people think that learning stops once kids exit the classroom?

[kittie313]

Because it is too deeply ingrained in our minds, that is why. I'm in my second year hsing with dd1, dd2 on down have never been to ps, and I still have trouble with that thinking at times. We have spent our lives being taught that learning happens at school, and that the only way the kids are going to learn anything is if they spend hours a day working on workbooks and worksheets and doing formal instruction in a structured environment. I'm having trouble with this thinking, and I expect that many out there who don't hs (and even some of us who do) also have the same trouble with seeing the educational opportunity that real-life can provide.

[Lillian J]

And I think there's even more to it than the notion that "learning" only happens under school-like conditions. I think a lot of it is the notion that children need to be tamed and molded through the ongoing process of putting them through ritualized school-like routines. The belief is that to not have to be put through that is to be getting away with something - and to not put them through it is to neglect instilling the proper discipline. I think people who've been through school know good and well that there's lots and lots of time there when not much of anything is being "learned," but they feel the ongoing discipline of sitting there and having to follow instructions is crucial for developing their character properly. We're always hearing stupidity like, "How are they going to be able to get up and go to college classes or work if they never had to get up to an alarm clock for to school?" or "How are they going to learn how to stand in lines if they've never been in school?" I think the notion that they need to be hitting the "schoolwork" every day is closely related to all that even more than it's related to concern about "learning." - Lillian

[tammyw]

I think it's just one of those things that some people will never understand. We live in San Diego in what's considered a good school area, yet I hear the parents complaining all the time that there are 38 kids to one teacher, and that their kids have HOURS of homework each night, so much that they are having to give up extra-curricular sports in some cases. Yet when they hear we are homeschooling, they say "I don't know how you do it". I mean they were JUST complaining about the system, but still they don't understand. I just shrug!

[LuxPerpetua]

I was just wondering about this too. We were at the park the other day and one mom was talking to another mom (I was unashamedly eavesdropping) and they were discussing their issues with school and how they hate it but could never homeschool because they don't know how they'd make their children do worksheets. Honestly, I get so tired of people thinking that homeschooling = worksheets and flashcards. I truly wanted to tell her that we homeschool and I never plan on using worksheets, or at least for a LONG time. MIL and FIL keep sending us flaschcards, which I find totally boring and bizarre. If they aren't sending us flashcards they are sending us materials that are far below dd's learning level. Ugh. I wish they'd ask.

But anyway ... to your question ... you know, I think that most people have been so indoctrinated in Behaviorist theory that they cannot conceive of people learning without being forced or rewarded/punished in some way. I think they generally do not understand what true learning is. To them, learning is regurgitating xyz on a piece of paper to get a reward (a sticker, an A, a promotion at a job, etc.). My parents are short-sighted like this. They cannot comprehend anyone choosing to learn for the sake of finding out knowledge rather than as a means to a material end. Most of the people whom I've encountered who are this way are the ones who view their work as a means to do what they want rather than as a vocation, or their work serving a higher purpose. They tend not to have hobbies other than watching television or sports. (Caveat: This is just my own personal observation and I have no data to back this up.) So, this probably describes most middle class Americans. I also think they have this idea that children need to learn to be miserable to learn, because why else would schools be that way??? Anyway, it is very disturbing and frustrating.

[zebra15]

Originally Posted by MrsJewelsRae

. The kids had a great time- Nana took them swimming for hours every day in the next door neighbour's heated pool and hot tub (got to practice the things they learned in their summer lessons), Papa took them fishing, they baked, they did crafts, they read books and did Sudoku, they gardened, they went for long walks and to the park and the beach. Certainly not a lost week.
Why do people think that learning stops once kids exit the classroom?

Sounds like your kids had a great week doing the following: PE/swimming, biology/fishing, home ec/baking, art/crafts, reading/books, math/sudoku, nature study/gardening,walks and beach. MUCH more than any teacher can jam pack into a 30x30 sq ft classroom... Plus I bet granny and poppy told them history stories of the 'old days', showed them antiques, shared geonology(sp), and while away the kids learned a bit of independent living too....

[Lisa1970]

There is this mystique surrounding the public schools. Most people have no clue as to how the textbooks are written, what is in them, who writes them, etc. I knew a homeschool family, they were actually unschoolers, where the mom used to be a textbook writer. She said it was pretty much a life mission to keep her kids from having to use textbooks ever. Ok, so they ended up having to use it in college, but, for the most part, they never used them growing up.

When you find out the math book is written by someone with a degree in marketing who struggled to pass the minimal math to graduate. People think it is only experts both in the subject matter and in child development and learning processes writing these books. It is all one big magical mystique.

Good luck!!! One thing I would do though is put down my foot about their quizzing and questioning your children.

[MrsJewelsRae]

Yeah, I thought we might have had the problem licked with her quizzing the kids, she used to do it *all* the time to my ds and dh put a stop to it. She even stood up for us a few months ago and defended hs, but you know, her sister was being critical and insulting and MIL let her have it. I just want to tell her, they don't have to make up for time lost, they didn't *lose* anything! And hello, I've taken them this far- can you not trust me to know what I need to make up and what can slide when you know *nothing* about homeschooling!? I just wonder what critical skill it is that people think an 8 yr old and a 6 yr old will not acquire by missing a week of school? Like we're going to end up in college and find out the never learned "xyz" because we took last week off!? MIL was acting like they missed an entire calculus course.

Oh and that is exactly what I was thinking zebra- they had home ec, phys ed, nature study, art, etc. It's great that my parents are so young (50) they have tons of energy still to do cool stuff with the kids! No way am I going to pull out the curriculum when they could be fishing, canoeing and hiking with Papa, he won't be around forever to do this stuff with them, kwim?

[tankgirl73]

Originally Posted by Lillian J

And I think there's even more to it than the notion that "learning" only happens under school-like conditions. I think a lot of it is the notion that children need to be tamed and molded through the ongoing process of putting them through ritualized school-like routines. The belief is that to not have to be put through that is to be getting away with something - and to not put them through it is to neglect instilling the proper discipline. I think people who've been through school know good and well that there's lots and lots of time there when not much of anything is being "learned," but they feel the ongoing discipline of sitting there and having to follow instructions is crucial for developing their character properly. We're always hearing stupidity like, "How are they going to be able to get up and go to college classes or work if they never had to get up to an alarm clock for to school?" or "How are they going to learn how to stand in lines if they've never been in school?"

Lillian, would it be inappropriate for me to say, I love you?

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by tankgirl73

Lillian, would it be inappropriate for me to say, I love you?

Well, I had a great therapeutic massage today that ironed out a lot of the back pain that's been getting me down, so those good vibes are the cherry on top. - Lillian

[OkiMom]

Next time I would be tempted to ask if she thought you would have really sent your children to school and deal with all that work while recovering. Honestly all my friends use public schools and none of them send their children to school after they had surgery of any type (especially emergency surgery). At least your children had a good time and I am sure they learned something.