2 yr old not communicating about pee and poo

[Nova0929]

I've just learned a lot by reading thru the EC messages here. Specifically, I am amazed at how many people go diaper-free with kids way under 2 years old. You see, I just assumed that by keeping up part- to- full-time EC my son would eventually just start telling me when he had to go, and then I would know it's time to use underwear instead of dipes. But he *never* tells me when he has to go. Well, once last week he came running to me and said, "big poopie!" then raced into the bathroom, put his potty seat on the potty, and climbed up himself! Super exciting for me! But it's the only time, alas.

We EC by my catching pees and poos. He almost always poos first thing in the morning so he sits on the potty after waking up. If I take him to pee every 30-45 minutes, I can catch most of his pees then. But if he's running around nakey-butt and I don't pee him, he just pees or poos on the floor, and doesn't communicate to me that he has to go first. Ditto if he has dipes on. In the last month or so he's started pooing more than just the morning, and I never catch that one, even if I have him sitting on the potty throughout the day - he goes in his dipes if he goes more than once a day (And I'm in 1st trimester pregnancy so this is unbelievably gross to me, ha!).

So, he doesn't tell me when he has to go, though occasionally he lets me know if he has just pooed or peed on the floor. I'm so surprised: I really thought he'd be communicating with me about this by now. The only way he can be dry is if I am constantly peeing him throughout the day.

After having read the posts here, I'm wondering what I'm doing wrong! I feel I should be w-a-y more diligent about peeing him throughout the day. Is my assumption that he should be telling me when he has to go wrong, and I should just be peeing him way more? Maybe I should put him in underwear and explain that it doesn't catch pees like dipes do? Should I just assume that he's going to go to the next step and stop putting him in dipes?

Would LOVE to hear your thoughts! Thank you!

Btw, I've just ordered the book "Diaper Free Before 3" which was recommended here.

[kdhfly]

I would switch to underwear during all awake time because it's always been "ok" to go in diapers, and underwear is not meant to be used as a toilet. If you switch, I would switch completely because otherwise it might get confusing. Sleeping times are different, though, so I don't think that would cause confusion to wear diapers then. We didn't do EC with DD1, but she was potty trained during the day at about 19 months. However, she's now almost 2, and she completely stopped telling us when she needed to go. We don't make a big deal about misses. We just say, "oh, you peed in your panties. Remember you can tell mom or dad you need to go and we'll help you go to the potty. Let's go change into dry panties." We say it really matter-of-factly, and that's all. I've also done more of a timing thing with her, but she has not liked it. Lately we've tried going in little potties all around our apartment, showing DD2 (6 months, and we're doing EC) how to put pee in the potty, and having mom or dad hold her on the big potty without an insert just to try to vary it and see if we can get her to like going on the potty again. Just the last couple of days she has started coming around. Today she even told me she needed to go and then went! All this is to say, that it might also just be a "2" thing and a phase that will pass.

One other thing that popped into my mind, if you do switch to underwear, he might consolidate his pees. If he's mostly wearing diapers and knows that it's ok for him to go in those whenever, then he might just let out little spurts (DD1 did this). Once we switched to underwear, she started going more like every couple hours.

[Nova0929]

This is a really good tip, thank you!

For anyone else who has a similar issue: I received two other pieces of advice from friends. One is to keep little potties around the house so he can easily go instead of thinking, Oh, I have to go outside or to the big potty so to make it easier I'll just go on the floor instead.

Another is to simply say, every single time that he pees or poos on floor or in underwear/dipes, something like: "pee pee / poo goes in the potty, honey" very matter of factly.

[sapphire_chan]

If you're going to be ordering some BBLPs or Ikea potties then I'd also order an extra one for your car. Soooo helpful!

[emmaegbert]

Originally Posted by Nova0929

One is to keep little potties around the house so he can easily go instead of thinking, Oh, I have to go outside or to the big potty so to make it easier I'll just go on the floor instead.

Another is to simply say, every single time that he pees or poos on floor or in underwear/dipes, something like: "pee pee / poo goes in the potty, honey" very matter of factly.

we do both of these. my 17mo has lately gotten really good about mentioning that she has to potty, but sometimes, she mentions it AS she is peeing. Ah well. I am still impressed with her. FWIW she doesn't seem to care too much about whether she has diaper, undies, nothing. But then again, she seems to have lots of awareness regardless.

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

If you're going to be ordering some BBLPs or Ikea potties then I'd also order an extra one for your car. Soooo helpful!

Kids are different! My little girl has pretty much refused car pottying all along. She also refuses to pee on the ground/grass/gutter. Will only go on the potty. (DS was ALL ABOUT peeing in weird places).

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by emmaegbert

Kids are different! My little girl has pretty much refused car pottying all along. She also refuses to pee on the ground/grass/gutter. Will only go on the potty. (DS was ALL ABOUT peeing in weird places).

Hey, at least she will go in bathrooms out an about. Half our car pottying is because it's a PITA to carry the bblp into the store just in case.

Oh, and on topic, when it clicks it can be super fast. With pooping dd went from nothing to asking for a potty every time over night. (: that we're finally gotten peed sorted too.)

[emmaegbert]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

Hey, at least she will go in bathrooms out an about. Half our car pottying is because it's a PITA to carry the bblp into the store just in case.

yes, it is good now that she will use out-and-about potties. Before, I just "let" her pee in a diaper when out b/c she actually refused all pottying that wasn't at home. Luckily that passed and now she'll use other potties.

OP- sounds like your LO is getting the idea, actually, if he told you about the big poopie. Don't despair- sounds like you are doing everything "right". (of course, "right" is what works for you). We always did part time and used diapers when not at home, and it seems to have been fine.