play instead of sleep? HELP!

[mommytoalilgirl]

I should first say, my daughter has never slept great. However lately she would rather play than sleep. She will be 16 months next week. She is so tired come night, but she is fighting sleep a lot! When i do get her to sleep, she wakes up, starts "chatting", pointing, and trying to squirm out of my arms so she can go play. I tried not letting her play, say it's nite, nite time, nurse her, keeping the room dark, not engaging her, but it's not working
She always coslept and then a few months ago, she would sleep a bit better in her crib, so i start her out there, and then bring her to bed with me or put her in the crib, depending on what works best that nite. We have a bedtime routine that we have always done but even that is not working.
She is down to one nap a day, and i know she is tired but is just refusing to sleep until she is totally exhausted. That i can deal with at the beginning of the nite, but i don't know what to do at 1 or 3 or 5 in the morning.
Please ladies, give me some advice.
Thank you all so much.

[ellemenope]

No advice, just commiseration. DD has always been tough, too. She did not really fight going to sleep unit 24 months, though. I am so sorry. It sucks.

I hope you get some better advice.

[carrie a.]

sleepless in america is a pretty good resource. the author believes that most kids are overtired and that if we have a good routine and get kids to sleep more hours, they'll sleep more soundly... so, she could be overtired. but personally, i've come to the conclusion that my dd (2 yrs old) just doesn't sleep when she's sick or getting sick or teething. i've tried everything short of a sleep specialist - now i just let her watch tv if she can't sleep. i know it sounds bad but it's the only way to preserve my sanity during the weeks when she's awake from 2-5am. good luck and try to be good to yourself. you're already doing what's best for her.

[mckennasmomma]

My daughter did a very similar thing around 18 months. I used to say it was like her brain was on fire, she'd get up and want to say all kinds of new things, do new things, and basically just go nuts. It got better with time.

Two nutritional things that help: fish oil and inositol (which can be found in some multis). Both are important brain supporters.

from a coping standpoint, I'd say if possible have someone else get up with her or at least trade off with you, and if that is not possible try to just embrace this time. It won't last forever, and she probably is just going through a major mental development.

[ShyDaisi]

She is wanting to play instead of sleep, but not crying, right? If that is the case, let her up to play for 5 to 15 minutes or until she shows signs of sleepiness again (crying, laying down on the floor, etc.). Then, go through an abbreviated night-night routine...Wash, rinse, repeat as necessary....

I had a very difficult sleeper from birth, and the thing that saved my sanity the most is realizing that you cannot force another human being to sleep -- attempting to do so only makes EVERYone miserable. Often, Micah's body was ready to sleep, but his mind wasn't. Allowing him to get back up for 5 or 10 minutes allowed him to "get it out of his system", to wind down, or to get whatever he "needed" to do done so he could sleep. As long as he as content to play or read or be read to, I would let him get back up. Any whininess or crying would instigate the mini-bedtime routine.

This will, of course, not work for all children (as for some the extra stimulation would rev them up), but sounds like it might work for you. It is a suggestion at least...plus, if your LO is happy, isn't that better than crying while fighting sleep?

[smlame]

We spent many a night up from 2-5 or thereabouts with our first. We thought that we were following her lead and that she would eventually get into a better rhythm (and maybe she would have) but then I got pregnant and I just couldn't take it anymore. We read Sleepless in America, did a phone consultation with the author and revamped our dailly routines. THis helped. Plus for us, we needed to stop getting up with her in the night and just stick to the rule of thumb for night time-which is "dark and horizontal." This actually worked and once I mentally prepared for it, I handled it much better. Now if she wakes in the night (which still happens every 2-4 weeks) and is awake for an hour or two, we all just stay quiet, keep it dark and lay still. She sometimes talks to herself and flops around but she does stay in bed and will fall back asleep. In the meantime, instead of laying there being frustrated and angry, I try to focus on the positives....like even if I'm not asleep, I'm at least resting in a comfortable bed. I also try to use that time to think about things or "day dream." Also, just as a little tidbit, that author told us that the average kiddo takes 27 minutes to fall asleep-meanign some will take more than that. So some flopping, playing, fussing, etc in the dark is a part of the process. I used to get really frustrated that she wouldn't just fall asleep right away. Now I understand that that's not realisitc. Sometimes us adults take a while to wind down too!