Planning for the holidays

[Pumpkin_Pie]

I think I remember posting a thread like this last year, but I need to get myself psychologically ready for Christmas again this year. DS will be so insanely excited on Christmas morning, and I can't wait to give him his gifts, but I am so dreading it and unbelievably sad all at the same time.

We have no family. Not one single relative that will be calling, visiting, or that we can go visit on Christmas day. All of my friends have family that they will be spending the day with as well, so no one will be coming to visit. It just makes me want to sit down and have a big old cry fest all day on Christmas day.

I so desperately want someone to share the day with, and to witness DS's joy and to share a meal with. I just can't wrap my head around the fact that we literally have no one in our lives that we can share Christmas with. We could pack up and go visit friends who are with their families, but that almost feels worse for me. DS won't have his brand new toys with him, and I will get to watch how families "should" be (visiting each other, playing with children, etc, etc) and reminded of how dysfunctional my own family is and how very alone in the world I am.

My best friend just informed me that she will likely be traveling on Christmas day, so I won't even be able to go visit her, her son and her mom. I seriously want to put a post up somewhere advertising that I want to hire a family for a day.

[meemee]

mama i wish i knew how to make this easier for you. dd and i have claimed this holiday. sometimes we go to a friends place, but many times its just dd and me. she spends eve and morning with daddy and then she comes over to me.

dd and i do our own christmas thing.

but i am soo sad mama that long to share this moment with someone else. this year our best friend whose family we are invited to join is also going out of town. however we have gotten used to being alone on this day and because the city looks sooo different dd and i do our own thing.

and today i long to do those things with dd. walk thru empty city streets, walk thru an empty mall, watch a movie, go on a hike. we do crazy things. walk thru leaves, throw leaves in the air, run thru the middle of the streets, scream out loud..... but its our thing and we laugh and giggle ALL the time. we do the same on TG day too.

for us christmas IS a family day. OUR family day. dunno though this year we might have all the single students from school over who dont have families here and wont be going home. however i am going to make sure we reserves some time for alone time and go do our christmas tradition.

[doubledutch]

i'm sorry! that sounds hard for you, but doesn't have to be, for him. he has no idea that this is not "how it's supposed to be" and he may grow up to believe that celebrating christmas within a tiny family unit, rather than among a big extended family, is the way to go! actually, that was my experience. christmas eve with just my mom, brother and (sometimes) maternal grandparents, versus christmas day with my dad and his ridiculously ginormous family . . . i preferred the quiet christmas. um, i kind of loved being the center of it, lol . . .

p.s. my b'day is also 3/28! and my ds2 was born on 3/25/07. i desperately wanted him to wait a few more days

[Muminmamman]

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Edited by Muminmamman - 6/25/11 at 5:56pm

[simplemama32]

I'm trying to get my head wrapped around the idea of a very small holiday. My extended family is huge, and the big, noisy celebration is what I grew up with. Lately, I've also been working on our parenting agreement for the holidays (this will be our first one with STBX and I separated), and while it is undeniably depressing to realize that DS and I will not be together for so many holidays-to-come, I'm trying to put a positive spin on everything by focusing on how we can make our own traditions.

If you are at all inclined, could you and DS maybe visit a retirement home or somewhere like that on Christmas Day? A lot of elderly people are alone at Christmas, too, and would *love* to have a child around that day. Or maybe volunteer to play with some of the animals at a local shelter on Christmas Day, and bring them some special treats? Just a couple random ideas, but whatever you decide to do, know that there are other single parents out here, trying to figure it all out, too. {{Hugs}}

[Super~Single~Mama]

Those are great ideas! And both would be fun ways to get out of your house, and make some new traditions!