Excited for homeschooling, but also worried about my sanity...

[vermontgirl]

Hi everyone, I have a four year old son and a two year old daughter. I have known since before they were born that I would home school them, and I honestly wouldn't have it any way. I am excited for it, but I am also worried. I am worried about never getting any space from each other and driving each other nuts.

How do you home school while still getting some space and staying sane?

-Hannah

[kittie313]

I got an iPod and loaded it up with music that I love but would never allow my children to listen to normally. Every day I plug myself into my iPod for about 20min or so, and the girls go do something creative that doesn't involve me. I sit and chill to music, and then when my time is up I am ready to go again. I usually do this right before we start our lessons in the afternoons (we're afternoon schoolers, mornings are for chores and errands and such)

[vermontgirl]

Originally Posted by kittie313

I got an iPod and loaded it up with music that I love but would never allow my children to listen to normally. Every day I plug myself into my iPod for about 20min or so, and the girls go do something creative that doesn't involve me. I sit and chill to music, and then when my time is up I am ready to go again. I usually do this right before we start our lessons in the afternoons (we're afternoon schoolers, mornings are for chores and errands and such)

This is great. I definitely have quiet time for the kids already, but honestly 20 minutes a day is not enough to keep me from feeling like a crazy person. I mean, the idea of being with these two sillies all day long until they are grown up is worrying me. I am definitely excited about it, but I will need some more ideas I think. Home schooling parents are so amazing. I am so inspired by what they do.

[phathui5]

We go to the YMCA just about every day when we're done with our homeschooling work. The kids (I have 4) all go in the playroom for an hour or two while I go work out.

[Lisa1970]

Do they drive you nuts now?

They will only get more and more independent as they get older. Plus, you all will like each other more as you won't all be going 3 different directions. My teens have little interest in me any more. My 6 and 9 yr old seem to be keeping themselves busy today. So it really is not smothering at all.

[briansmama]

Originally Posted by phathui5

We go to the YMCA just about every day when we're done with our homeschooling work. The kids (I have 4) all go in the playroom for an hour or two while I go work out.

This is what I was going to recommend. We belong to a gym with an excellent kids' program. We go 3 weekdays (and 1 weekend day) per week for 1.5-2 hours each time.

So, I get 8 hours to myself each week and have found that my yoga classes really help when I'm feeling stressed. Plus, the consistency has allowed my dc to make some great friends, as well as myself.

We consider it a homeschooling expense. I'll borrow every book we need from the library and use the internet resources for curriculum, but we spend extra $$ on the great gym purely for the kids' program. The play sports, have art time, an outdoor area for running games and messy crafts, etc.

It's honestly the best thing we ever did for homeschooling. Just enough of a break for all of us.

HTH!

[Juvysen]

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by vermontgirl

This is great. I definitely have quiet time for the kids already, but honestly 20 minutes a day is not enough to keep me from feeling like a crazy person. I mean, the idea of being with these two sillies all day long until they are grown up is worrying me.

I go a little crazy some days. But, I'm not really with my kids all day long. Some days, I pretty much am here with them all day. Other days, they have classes - dd1 is doing ballet and rock climbing, and ds2 is also doing a dance class and rock climbing. Others may be added later, depending on what they want. While I often stay and watch the classes, I don't have to, and can get a little bit of "me" time. Rock climbing is an hour class, and I can spend the whole time out doing something, if I so choose. We also go to "field trips" and some of those are with a group, so the kids largely entertain themselves while the adults chat. We do a three hour homelearners social meetup every second Friday, and I get adult time there, too. I also belong to a choir, and have a 2 hour rehearsal every Tuesday night. That's my serious "me" time. (I will admit, though, that I'm not looking forward to tonight's rehearsal. I'm absolutely exhausted, and when I'm this tired, rehearsal is more draining than energizing.)

My youngest is only 15 months, so I know I've got a rough year or so ahead of me (she's a crazy toddler). I also know it gets easier as they get older.

[koru]

I think it's great that you're thinking about this beforehand because I didn't! I just figured it would be more of the same but as the kids get older (and mine are only 7,5 & 3) we do a lot more running around & I have little-to-no "me time." Even when I'm having a quiet moment in the house, like right now, there are still interruptions & things to tend to & it's hard to find a block of time that is just for me.....unless I leave the house when DH comes home but then we basically tag-team parent & I don't like that either. I'm continually searching for balance.

I don't do anything on a regular basis (I used to run but now DH coaches soccer & 'tis the season) but if I find myself getting stressed, I take a book or my laptop to my room & tell the kids I'm having quiet time....and don't open the door!

You'll find your groove & work it out but again, definitely something to consider & great that you're planning ahead.

[LemonPie]

I went into homeschooling feeling very strongly that it was something our family should do, but I wasn't very *excited* about it. I've been pleasantly surprised. I LOVE homeschooling. I find the baby/toddler stage very exhausting, and moving into this phase where my kids and I are learning together and discussing things is so much nicer for me. I'm feeling intellectually challenged again, and I just love that I'm with my kids all day.

The other important thing to remember is that you aren't (hopefully) going to march them into the dining room every morning and make them sit at the table and do schoolwork for 6 hours. With a 5 yo probably spend about 2 hours or less/day doing schoolwork. We start around 9 a.m. and try to do math first, and then the kids go run around the yard for 30 minutes or so while I get an internet fix or eat breakfast or start a load of laundry or whatever. Then we do a little more schoolwork, sometimes outside in that back yard because the weather is fabulous right now, and so on. Today we met DH for lunch and listened to some history on the way, and we might have a short spelling lesson in the car on the way to gymnastics later.

I have no problem saying to my kids, "We are on a break right now, that means mommy is on a break too!" if they come and ask me for something non-essential. I also find that HSing gives our day some structure and shape, so my kids aren't so bored and annoying as they were over the summer when it was a thousand degrees outside and we were twiddling our thumbs in the house. I should have started school sooner!

[crittersmum]

I'm in the same situation as you, vermontgirl, wondering how these amazing homeschoolers get any serious "me" time. I was thinking we might get a sitter in a morning or two a week, but that's an expense that would add up! I like the idea of a program at the gym, though. I'll have to look around and see what's available.

[jenniet]

Vermontgirl~ I am leaning towards homeschooling my two very high-energy boys that are almost four and two years old. My number one fear is getting seriously burnt out. So...thank you for posting this question!

At the moment my dh works a lot of hours and we can't afford a regular baby-sitter so I always imagined having more personal time when my kids started school. I have been a SAHM since the birth of my oldest and it's a tough job! I have come to the conclusion though that homeschooling without going crazy must be possible.

When dh and I discuss the possibility of homeschooling here are some of the ideas for staying sane we have bounced around:

1) definitely join some sort of homeschooling group to have support and adult interaction

2) dh is going to try to stay home a couple of mornings a week and take over the homeschooling duties so I can have some free time (my dh owns his own business so I realize this is not an option for everyone)

3) if we have the money down the road I am not opposed to hiring a mother's helper a few hours a week

4) I find what works best for our family is having a few scheduled activities like swim lessons or music class throughout the week, it gives us some structure and time flies when we are all having fun!

5) Dh and I try to have date nights a couple of times a month after the kids are asleep, we hire a baby-sitter and catch a movie~ it's immensely restorative (also, sometimes one of us stays home one evening with the kids and the other person goes out with friends)

Good luck!

[kittie313]

Originally Posted by vermontgirl

This is great. I definitely have quiet time for the kids already, but honestly 20 minutes a day is not enough to keep me from feeling like a crazy person. I mean, the idea of being with these two sillies all day long until they are grown up is worrying me. I am definitely excited about it, but I will need some more ideas I think. Home schooling parents are so amazing. I am so inspired by what they do.

Trust me, that 20 minutes a day that I get is a band-aid lol I'm also in college full time (online program) so I also have the perk of getting at least an hour every night to myself to lock myself in the bedroom/school room with my laptop, a drink (with refills lol), and just do my thing. My dh also gives me the opportunity to sleep in on Saturdays and he takes over the kids that day so I can do shopping, focus on college for the upcoming week, go to the library if needed, or even just play on FaceBook. lol He insists that hsing is a FT job and that my college is a second FT job, and since he only works one job he needs to give me a day off every weekend and an hour every night to focus on my college job or just unwind from it all. The 20min iPod time is my "ok I'm stressing and I need to get a quick recharge, come here Lady Gaga" that helps me get through the afternoons (which also happens to be when we do our lessons, I'll chill a bit after lunch normally then feel like i can tackle their lessons). It really is more than just 20min a day when you break it down.

In fact, I blogged about how he supports me and helps me in our homeschooling not too long ago. I think maybe that will give a much better picture of exactly how my dh helps me keep my sanity. http://livinggraceacademy.blogspot.c...f-husband.html

[OkiMom]

I worry about this at times too! My girls are very very high energy and if they are up they want my undivided attention. They are 3 1/2 (4 in Jan) and 22 months (2 in November), I'm also due with a little one in February. I wonder sometimes how Im going to fit it all in, especially when DH leaves for work like it does several times a year. Here are a few things Ive learned:
- The girls help with everything around the house. Cuts my cleaning time from 2-3 hours to about an hour and a half.
- Luckily if I give them a fun activity I can get half an hour without them bugging me for something, during that time I do something like read, sew, listen to music, chat online.
- When my husband is home he takes the girls for a couple of hours a week so I can catch up on my sleep, work on a project, take a shower.. you know all the glamorous stuff moms do.
- Every Sunday we go to church and they attend nursery at our church (goes from ages 18 months to the Jan after they turn 3 so the baby will be with me until he/she is 1 1/2)
-I wake up early and work out, read my scriptures and plan for the day. If I don't get up before the girls the rest of the day suffers.
- Im learning its ok to tell them that they need to give me some space and let me relax for a minute. There are months were Im their sole caregiver and while my friends are great they also have children they have to take care of. Most of them also have deployed spouses so I don't ask them to watch the girls very often.
- If it gets to much I let one of my friends take them for a couple of hours. I wish I learned that one earlier, it would have helped in June when I couldn't keep anything down and the girls were all over me because DH was gone.
- They stick to a bedtime. I know a lot of people tend to let their kids stay up if they want to but I need at least 8 hours of sleep a night otherwise I can't function. They go to bed around 730, gives me about 30 minutes of computer/personal time and then I go to sleep myself and I wake around 430 the next morning. Which means if I don't get woken up several times a night I get 8 1/2 hours of sleep..

That gives me anywhere between 5-8 hours of me time a week. I can function on that. Sometimes if DH is home I declare a mommy day off and he takes the girls for the whole day while I chill, catch up on house work, work on projects, send e-mails/letters that need to be sent or just take a nap/bath/soak my feet whatever.On a good month I will get at least one "day off" during the month but there are months I don't get any.