3.5 yr old really struggling in first year

[mamacompassion]

I don't know if I'm worrying too much here, but ds started a public montessori this year and last week (three weeks in), I started to learn that he's having a lot of trouble each day. He is a very social child, an only child, and has strong opinions. We looked at several school models and thought Montessori would be the very best fit for him. I still feel this way, but am worried that he's struggling. He's in school three hours each day.

Some examples:

1. He has a lot of trouble transitioning from one activity to another - so the play area is fine, but when it's time to go to the classroom, he won't stop playing. He's fine once he's in the classroom and he's choosing work and doing well, but will not clean up and come to the circle (for songs) at the end of the day.
2. He would not come in from outside time the other day, so the next day, had to spend 8 minutes on a bench rather than playing with the other children.
3. He was sent to the "office" today - I have a note in to his teacher to find out why, but one of the other children even told my mom (who picked him up today) that he was in trouble today.
4. He would not hold the handrail coming down the stairs today b/c he had on his new rain boots and they're rubber, so said he would not fall. I can see how this could be a logical argument from a three year old, but still, this is another rule he would not follow.
5. He will not clean up his toys and work when told.

I'm worried - very worried. His teacher says they will have it figured out in a few weeks and he'll do well, but I feel like it's getting worse rather than better. It's really hard for me to know that he's in trouble every day. He comes home upset about 50% of the time. I want to help him, but do not know how. I've requested a meeting with his teacher and hope we might be able to figure this out. She doesn't seem too worried.

Has anyone else had trouble with adjustment like this? Seems like his transition from activity to activity is the biggest problem.

Thanks!

[touting]

I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this.

My son just started as well and is struggling. He is getting in trouble a few times a week. The teachers tell me the same thing but I am also very concerned.

Does the teacher have an email address where you can send her and email?

Also, is it possible for you to go and observe him?

[MattBronsil]

It seems most of the times come at transition periods. This is understandable at this age. An example for you...

Imagine getting involved in a movie. Suddenly, they shut off the movie and the ushers come in and say it's time to go play video games in the theater lobby.

A few things that help with that:
1) Advanced warning of how much time is left. Sometimes, it might take multiple warnings (10 minutes, 5 minutes, 3 minutes, and one minute) because a 3.5 year old might not understand the concept of a minute. I don't normally advocate interrupting concentrated work, but this might help with the transition part for a while.

2) Pictures. Take a picture of the clock and, next to it, a picture of what happens at that time. To a child at this age, the interruption seems arbitrary sometimes. This will help with that.

3) Are they able to save the work until the next time? Sometimes, this is possible, but some classes might have another group come in in the afternoon or morning and it might have to be cleaned up for them.


I'd like to point out that this is a good fit. Montessori has less time interruptions than most systems of education.

[rumsmyname]

Warnings about transitions were

the only way to help my child not have difficulties with transitions. It was very hard for her to just switch gears at someone else's direction. Typically, her teachers would indicate to her that when she finished doing "x" she needed to switch. They would find the natural place within her activity. With time, she has become much better at finding the natural breaks herself and transitions well at age 8.

Without the help, her experience would have been awful.