Originally Posted by earthknitter
I was just married and only 19 and I guess some of my extended family and in-laws felt we should struggle and suffer a bit. There is definitely some twinges of bitterness in this thread.
I'm sorry. I see this type of thinking a lot, and it drives me absolutely up the wall. The people who get everything bought for them, free babysitting from the grandparents, and so forth, are those who are married, financially stable, and of an appropriate age. The ones who are broke, young, single, etc. and most in need of support are seen as needing to suffer and pay for their mistake, not get rewarded. Even if it comes at the physical/emotional expense of the baby. (Not that I think the parents themselves should suffer or have anything short of the best welcome into parenthood possible, but this kind of thinking just seems SO BACKWARDS to me, especially since these same people are often anti-abortion.)
I can't even say this bothers me from a personal standpoint, as I was somewhere in the middle - unmarried, but not unusually young, and, at the time, reasonably financially stable. And, I guess, I got an in-between sort of shower/presents.
|About telling guests no clothes. I asked my mom if she would tell people when they called asking what to bring for a gift that I don't need any more clothes, and I do not use paper diapers. She said well what are we having a shower for? I told her everything else for heaven's sake! Wipes. Soap. ETc. I made a registry for cloth diapers, I need some new things to go with what I already have, but I erased it because nobody understands four children, much less cloth diapers and I was afraid! So I will just be happy if people just come to celebrate!
I understand! I suspect a large part of my angst here is that people can't just come to celebrate. If we still lived in our old town, we'd have a celebration party, and people would bring a potluck dish or diaper rash cream or something, and coo over the baby, and I'd be perfectly happy with that. But they're not going to come all the way out here, and we don't really know anyone here yet. I'm sure my mom will come as soon as she's able, but my dad and brother may or may not come here before we go visit them around the holidays, and my grandparents are too old and sick to travel. We're on good terms with DH's mom, but she hasn't seen us since DS was born 7 years ago, so I doubt she'll make an appearance.
Greetings on Facebook just aren't quite the same, you know?
I hope people come to yours, and maybe even give you stuff you can use! Even if they don't understand cloth diapers, hopefully they'll understand wipes!