whats normal, and how do i facilitate more normal behavior?
My beyond spirited 6 yo DD will not go to the bathroom when her body tells her it needs to happen. This is an ongoing thing since potty learning... that i thought was just a "phase". mmm, well, if its a phase its a looooong one!
This is how it goes...TMI im sure....She will squeeze her cheeks together and do whatever it takes...the dance, twist, turn etc until 1. someone notices, and then we have to insist that she stop whatever shes doing and go to which she usually puts up a 15-20 min fight about it....or 2. until just enough squeezes out and the pressure is relieved and she can continue whatever was *so important*...I will then notice minutes to hours later when she will suddenly decide to "shower" to wash off the dried crusty poop. She will not wipe herself either on the rare occasion she makes it to the toilet. Its driving me crazy. I cant imagine this is "normal", kids who go to school have to wipe themselves, right? They cant just sit there and scream "somebody come wipe me" and tantrum on the pot!
Another thing. She's still wetting the bed. every night. She went for about 2 months, no accidents at night, we got rid of the night time trainers and boom, peeing the bed every night. I the last week, I kept track of her drinking and toileting for and realized she does not (even when offered, asked, or demanded) drink hardly anything before 3pm. at which point shes drinking everything she can find. No wonder she pees so much at night. Im talking pees so so so much and it doesnt usually even wake her up. At times when it has woken her up, she will fall back asleep after being changed and pee again! She's peed her bed, my bed and the couch all in the same night. Im sick of the pee'd laundry. EVERY DAY.
She obviously doesnt pee the bed on purpose, and she sees how much it upsets me, and feels bad about it. I have no idea why it bothers me so much (aside from the inconvenience of the laundry and waking up at night) but it does. Its huge. I have a big emotional attachment to her peeing at night. it FEELS like she does it just to p*ss me off even though in my thinking brain i KNOW she doesnt. Does that make sense?
We just had a 30 min stand off in the kitchen because she wanted juice and i wouldnt let her have any drinks before bed. by the time i got her in her ed i realized she hadnt used the toilet, only washed off the dried crustyness from who knows how long ago...I asked her to go use the toilet and she refused saying she didnt have to. It then went on for another 10 minutes. At this point my choices were pick her up and bring her to the toilet or walk away and figure well, she's probably going to pee the bed anyway so what the heck ever.
Oh, and she refuses to wear the night trainers anymore, she says they are uncomfortable, she cant sleep and will take them off as soon as i leave the room.
It doesnt help that I constantly compare kids mentally. ds has been dry at night from 14 mos on, and dd2 has been since 10 mos. oh, and they nurse at night.
Sigh. please somebody offer me some guidance. Im going bonkers.
My beyond spirited 6 yo DD will not go to the bathroom when her body tells her it needs to happen. This is an ongoing thing since potty learning... that i thought was just a "phase". mmm, well, if its a phase its a looooong one!
This is how it goes...TMI im sure....She will squeeze her cheeks together and do whatever it takes...the dance, twist, turn etc until 1. someone notices, and then we have to insist that she stop whatever shes doing and go to which she usually puts up a 15-20 min fight about it....or 2. until just enough squeezes out and the pressure is relieved and she can continue whatever was *so important*...I will then notice minutes to hours later when she will suddenly decide to "shower" to wash off the dried crusty poop. She will not wipe herself either on the rare occasion she makes it to the toilet. Its driving me crazy. I cant imagine this is "normal", kids who go to school have to wipe themselves, right? They cant just sit there and scream "somebody come wipe me" and tantrum on the pot!
Another thing. She's still wetting the bed. every night. She went for about 2 months, no accidents at night, we got rid of the night time trainers and boom, peeing the bed every night. I the last week, I kept track of her drinking and toileting for and realized she does not (even when offered, asked, or demanded) drink hardly anything before 3pm. at which point shes drinking everything she can find. No wonder she pees so much at night. Im talking pees so so so much and it doesnt usually even wake her up. At times when it has woken her up, she will fall back asleep after being changed and pee again! She's peed her bed, my bed and the couch all in the same night. Im sick of the pee'd laundry. EVERY DAY.
She obviously doesnt pee the bed on purpose, and she sees how much it upsets me, and feels bad about it. I have no idea why it bothers me so much (aside from the inconvenience of the laundry and waking up at night) but it does. Its huge. I have a big emotional attachment to her peeing at night. it FEELS like she does it just to p*ss me off even though in my thinking brain i KNOW she doesnt. Does that make sense?
We just had a 30 min stand off in the kitchen because she wanted juice and i wouldnt let her have any drinks before bed. by the time i got her in her ed i realized she hadnt used the toilet, only washed off the dried crustyness from who knows how long ago...I asked her to go use the toilet and she refused saying she didnt have to. It then went on for another 10 minutes. At this point my choices were pick her up and bring her to the toilet or walk away and figure well, she's probably going to pee the bed anyway so what the heck ever.
Oh, and she refuses to wear the night trainers anymore, she says they are uncomfortable, she cant sleep and will take them off as soon as i leave the room.
It doesnt help that I constantly compare kids mentally. ds has been dry at night from 14 mos on, and dd2 has been since 10 mos. oh, and they nurse at night.
Sigh. please somebody offer me some guidance. Im going bonkers.
