almost 7 yo ds' "ears hurt" if he can't listen to audiobooks

[flowmom]

My almost 7 yo ds seems to have become dependent on audiobooks when at home and not involved with playmates. He asks for them all the time and throws tantrums when he doesn't get them. Tonight, he said that his "ears hurt" and the only thing that would help would be listening to an audiobook.

He has ADHD and SPD. With auditory stuff there may be some weirdness. He mostly hates music (!!), loves audiobooks, but doesn't listen to instructions etc very well at all.

Any insights here?? We homeschool so we have more "at home" time than most.

[Linda on the move]

Is there a problem with just letting him listen to them? It sounds like the audio sensory input is working for him in some way.

Both my neuro typical and my ASD child really like audio books and keep them on as background, fall asleep to them sometimes, etc.

We use iPods, earphones, iHomes, etc so that not everyone has to listen.

[Multimomma]

I have a similar issue. If I don't have some level of background noise, it really hurts. When I was little, I played music almost constantly on my radio, then it was ticking clocks, now it's a fan on high.

I can assure you that it's real, and that he probably needs something to engage his auditory system so that his nerves don't snap. I had to have sound constantly to focus on homework or chores...

[mysticmomma]

Originally Posted by Multimomma

I have a similar issue. If I don't have some level of background noise, it really hurts. When I was little, I played music almost constantly on my radio, then it was ticking clocks, now it's a fan on high.

I can assure you that it's real, and that he probably needs something to engage his auditory system so that his nerves don't snap. I had to have sound constantly to focus on homework or chores...

This... I could have written this post. It was terrible growing up, because my mom didn't care how things got done, as long as they got done. My dad on the otherhand wouldn't let me have anything on during homework time. I never did well those days.

[flowmom]

Thanks for the feedback. My ears have never hurt because of not listening to sounds, but I have to admit that I have used audiobooks and talk radio to help focus (as an adult) in the past (I suspect some ADHD in myself). So I can see how several degrees further could create the kind of problem that ds is suffering from.

Originally Posted by Linda on the move

Is there a problem with just letting him listen to them? It sounds like the audio sensory input is working for him in some way.

That's how I felt initially. I guess I am starting to worry about it becoming a crutch and interfering with normal activities. For example, family meal times have become harder since their father moved out and now ds always wants to listen to audiobooks during meal times. In my mind dinner time should be a time of eating and conversation. Usually don't manage to make either happen

And the other problem is that we haven't been using devices with headphones, so we are all having to listen to the audiobooks, which are intrusive, obviously. I feel a little uncomfortable with a child his age being cut off from the world with headphones (my projection, I know) but maybe that's the best solution.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by flowmom

For example, family meal times have become harder since their father moved out and now ds always wants to listen to audiobooks during meal times. In my mind dinner time should be a time of eating and conversation. Usually don't manage to make either happen

we have a rule of no tv, audio books, etc. during meals and every body has to say one thing they are grateful for. it sorta works. Background music is OK, but for 15 minutes or so, we attempt to talk

And the other problem is that we haven't been using devices with headphones, so we are all having to listen to the audiobooks, which are intrusive, obviously.

I like headphones!

I feel a little uncomfortable with a child his age being cut off from the world with headphones (my projection, I know) but maybe that's the best solution.

I think it's about balance. (My kids don't homeschool, so that it makes a different isssue.) For my neuro-typical child I don't worry about it because if there are people to interact with, she chooses that.

For my spectrum DD, I am concerned. At school, she has certain times she can wear her iPod, and certain times she can't. She's limited in how much she can cut off from others that way.

[joensally]

Hmmm. The OT who did DS's second SPD assessment noticed that for DS, talking actually meets a sensory need in his ears. I don't understand the subtleties of it, but perhaps your DS needs this input via audiobook. I wonder if there's some other method that meets the need, somehow increasing the intensity of the input might reduce the need for the frequency/duration? Like, if he sits in a tight chair/swing/bean bag chair/dark room whatever and had that sensory input in combination with the audiobook he'd find equilibrium faster and would need the audiobooks less.

Can you try offering some substitute outside of mealtimes? This way you could test if it's actually only the audiobook he's after, or whether he's also avoiding something about mealtimes or other times when he's insistent on having the input?

What happens when he's not at home? Like, on the way to a playmates or at the park without playmates? What happens at his dad's?

Has he had an auditory processing disorder screening?

I wonder if this is an input need or an avoidance strategy?