i've been reading this thread and learning a lot. my husband and i have only been married for a couple of years, and i was (still am) quite young and very inexperienced job-wise. he made pretty big bucks since before we got married, and was very hesitant to put my name on everything. i'm still not listed on a savings account he had from before we got married. i don't like it, but i do understand it. especially once you said you'd only been married for a couple of years like us, i think it's sometimes hard for people to give up what they see as financial independence. and it's especially hard in this society... on the one hand there are lots of messages out there about women and men remaining financially indepedent, but on the other hand, if you have a more traditional set-up of one partner staying home, and the other working, the modern style of indepedence and seperate bank accounts etc, doesn't always work too well.
i had to really work on my dh for a while before we got joint accounts. and like i said, we're not all the way there. i think he always envisioned a partnership where the two spouses have totally seperate accounts and split all the bills down the middle or something, but he married someone who wants a very different set-up... so it has been an extended and somewhat complicated conversation to get where we are right now.
i'm glad you're getting somewhere. just keep clarifying in your head what you want your financial partnership to look like and keep the conversation going. our husbands may not fully understand just HOW exposed and scary it can feel to be a young SAHM with no real job experience and no real control or information about the state of your long-term finances.
i have a lot of work to do in the finance department myself. i want to be a better partner when it comes to our long-term goals and savings... i honestly don't know how we're really doing in that department.
i had to really work on my dh for a while before we got joint accounts. and like i said, we're not all the way there. i think he always envisioned a partnership where the two spouses have totally seperate accounts and split all the bills down the middle or something, but he married someone who wants a very different set-up... so it has been an extended and somewhat complicated conversation to get where we are right now.
i'm glad you're getting somewhere. just keep clarifying in your head what you want your financial partnership to look like and keep the conversation going. our husbands may not fully understand just HOW exposed and scary it can feel to be a young SAHM with no real job experience and no real control or information about the state of your long-term finances.
i have a lot of work to do in the finance department myself. i want to be a better partner when it comes to our long-term goals and savings... i honestly don't know how we're really doing in that department.
Keep up the communication and you both will find your way. 
. It seems that there are some issues with trust regarding money, but I'm sure in time you'll be able to move past that as well.
