How grabby is your two year old?

[nj's_mom]

DD turned 2 in August and has never been in daycare. She has had playdates, and has a cousin around her age, but she is an only. Her aunt and uncle are very young (school aged) but she is the Baby. Life doesn't revolve around her completely (I tell myself) but she has it good. All the baby toys and baby books and baby things in her life belong to her. Of course we've worked on "manners"- more like How to Interact with Others in a Way Both of You Can Live With"- since she was old enough. But she's never had to really find her way with other kids. And she's a toddler. 'nuff said, right?

But she just started at a family daycare one day a week. Today is her second time. I knew she'd have issues with "sharing"- I don't mind her not sharing HER things, but she is having a big issue with forcefully taking toys/books/anything away from other kids, and when they resist, getting physical. For me, it seems really typical, of her nature and of toddlers- she just wants what she wants, and she doesn't want to hear any "no's" about it. But there are kids with things she wants EVERYWHERE. Her "teacher" is very good, no silly punishments or time outs or shaming, but redirection, redirection, and identifying the behavior that is not "okay"- pulling other kid's clothes, snatching their things away. But I have a feeling it's a cooonstant thing.

Is this normal? To be expected?

[just_lily]

Totally normal. Totally, frustrating normal.

In my home daycare I have a 15mo, my 2yo DD, another 2yo and a 3yo. Most interations go like this:

Mine!
No! Mine!
No! Mine!
No! Mine!!

And then I step in. Repeat 1034305385343003430 times a day. Even the 15mo has started with "Me! Me!" as he grabs at things.

The worst offender currently is actually the 3yo. FWIW she is the only child of a single mom, with no cousins... so the only kid in the family all around. She is given what she wants, when she wants so she is quite used to just taking things from the other kids and seems genuinely surprised when they take offence. She tells me "But I WANT it!" a lot to. But to be fair I think it is also her personality type, but I don't think ever having to share at home helps.

I try to practice with my DD on our own as well. When we are playing I won't let her just grab something from me because she wants it and have her ask instead (she is verbal enough that she can do this). Sometimes I give it to her right away, and sometimes I tell her she will have to wait until I am done and give it to her a minute or two later.