Help me not spend $1000 on my kids' birthday parties!

[HipGal]

So our two kids share the same birthday month. They both want to have parties at a jumpy house place. Assuming we do that and get the package that has pizza for the guests, it would cost about $1000 for both parties.

I'm trying to look at alternatives. The roadblocks we have are:

- Winter birthdays (might rain, so a party at the park or jumpy at our house would be a gamble)

- Small house

- Large classes (DS has 20 in his class, DD has 24). Most people at their school invite the whole class to parties. We could try to narrow it down, but it could result in some drama. One of DD's best friends is a boy and a couple of DS's friends are girls, so we can't go by gender.


We have talked about alternatives with the kids. They really want the jumpy place (and this would be on par with the other kids in their classes). They are sweet kids and I know they would accept an alternative, though it is tough because they seem to have their hearts set on it (and it really is what the other kids tend to do). On the other hand, $1000 is a lot of money! I'm wondering if any of you clever mamas have some ideas for us.

[dachshundqueen]

Have it at home and only invite their true friends although you may not be able to hand out invites at the school, I am certain you have either these people's addresses or phone numbers. Have a sleepover with only a few of their closest friends.

Learn to say no. Just because "everyone else" is doing something doesn't mean you have to do it too.

Liz

[cristina47454]

I am so relieved we moved to an area where the birthday party scene is WAY low key. Reading your post reminded me of what it used to be like *Stress*.


If you (they) are set on that particular place, and you are obligated to invite the entire class, the only alternative I see is that you have the party during NON-meal hours so you can forgo the pizza.

We have a winter birthday too, (and a small house) but like I said, bday parties are not the norm around here, so even though my dd would LOVE a huge blow out, we've pretty much limited it to a couple of girls from her class. Last year it was a gingerbread decorating party. That was a "negotiated" deal, though I'm really trying to phase out the party altogether. But it's SO hard to say "no" to our kids, though, isn't it??

[ChristyMarie]

How old are your kids?

Can you do a combination party? I would think one party with 30 kids is cheaper than 2 parties with 15 each.

Non-meal time is a great idea to save cost.

Why not do a smaller party at home? Just invite their friends, not the entire class.

Or let each child pick an outing on their birthday and invite one or two friends along. You could make this the tradition instead of a large party.

[blizzard_babe]

Holy cow, $1000?

Does your local YMCA do parties? They tend to be more reasonable than for-profit party places, and a lot of the party packages include swimming. Do any of your local parks have shelters or multi-use buildings? They could play outside if it's nice out, but have a bunch of games/activities that can be done indoors (marshmallows suspended from the ceiling by a string, they have to eat it with their hands behind their back... stuff like that). In my hometown, for example, when it's the "off season" (read: spring, summer, fall), you can rent out the skating rink/sled hill/tobaggan run warming shack for super cheap. Might be something else like that available in reverse.

I'd work on narrowing down the guest list, no matter what you choose. My parents' rule (arbitrary, yes, but any number limit is going to be arbitrary) was that we got to invite as many people as our new birthday age. So when we turned eight, we invited eight. Sure, there was "party drama" where people were or weren't invited to so-and-so's birthday party, but you know what? We all survived. I don't remember whose party I was or wasn't invited to. We all understood that everyone had a limit. Some kids had huge parties, some had no parties, some had small parties...

Now if the PARENTS are causing/perpetuating the drama, then they really need to call me because they clearly have far too much time on their hands and I have some work they could do.

[Marissamom]

a party for the entire class at a party place is way too much. I personally always preferred parties with 10 or fewer kids at home, but that was always the standard in my circle of friends. Mostly the mom's would do a theme, so there was a fairy-tale party with a castle cake, a dog party, a clown party, etc. whatever the kid was into at the time. part of the fun for me growing up was getting to plan the party. choose games and crafts and what kind of cake I was going to have. you don't get to do that at a party place.

[doubledutch]

no way. how much is ONE party where they each get to invite like 5 kids? i would offer them the choice between a joint party at the bouncey place, with very limited guests, OR they each get to have their own separate big party but it's just cake at home (or a park or other free public place). obviously, they will have to agree with each other on the decision. if you need a free indoor place other than your own home, what about a grandparent's house or aunt/uncle's house?

i would try to sell my kids on an alternative location, taking the, "everyone had their party there, what about X?" if there is a cheaper party place like the zoo, the aquarium, an arcade, bowling, etc . . . but if it were something like that i would absolutely make them combine the party and keep it small.

i also like the solution some families do, which is to choose between gifts versus party, but there is still no way in hell, and i mean absolutely no way, that i would spend $1000 or even $500 on a b'day party.

[honeybunmom]

My daughter is also asking for a jump house party. I've simply told her no. She'll be 5 and we've been to two of these. IMO they are entirely too stimulating. I'm happy to take her and a friend to such a place, but not keen on the party scene. Her teacher actually advocates against these types of parties (quietly). I've told dd 1) we'll be at home and 2) she can invite as many friends as years old she is turning. She has since turned her attention to what cake I'll be baking for her!

[Ellien C]

Is it possible to rent one of those blow-up jumpy things for less money and have it at your house or some community center with indoor space and then have all the kids you want for cake and punch? I understand about winter birthdays - we have February here.

Could you save the jumpy house idea for the big birthdays? Like the oldest gets it this year, but the younger one has to wait until that age? I also agree with narrowing down the guest list. That's just the way it has to be. Kids learn to live with it.

I rented a room at a community center for $30/hour and I was THRILLED to have my kids B-day there instead of in our house. It was great. I rented it for an extra hour for decorating and clean-up. We did the pinata, had party games, opened presents and ate cake - then packed it up and left. I loved it! I didn't have to clean my house, worry about toilets, etc.

[sunsetdancer]

Wow - you guys have expensive bounce house places. Around here, thy are about $250 for a party that includes 20 people. I brought a cake from Costco for about $16 and called it a party. I scheduled it at a time when pizza wouldnt be expected. It included all paper products and I am pretty sure they included juice. I don't remember bringing anything to drink but somehow the kids had juice. That would bring the total to about $300 for one party so it would be about $600 for both kids in your scenario. I'm glad the bounce house market in my area is cheaper. LOL

[Poddi]

Can't you look around a bit for other interesting, but cheaper place? I was digging around last year and found an indoor playground that's quite decent. They charge only $200 for as many kids as you want, and you can bring your own pizza and drinks.

[zinemama]

We have a small house and winter birthdays, too. Never in a million years would I invite the whole class or even consider spending more than a mortgage payment on a child's birthday. Step away from the madness and tell the kids that this is how it's going to be:

Pick 5 friends to invite only.
Have the party at your house.
Plan one or two very simple activities (assemble your own pizzas, decorate cupcakes, etc.)
Make the cake yourself.
Don't hand out goody bags. Or, if you must hand out something, go to the thrift store and pick up some used books. Wrap them nicely for the kids to take home.

I've been doing this kind of party for years. Believe me, everyone will have a good time.

[gini1313]

[QUOTE=zinemama;15897345]Don't hand out goody bags. Or, if you must hand out something, go to the thrift store and pick up some used books. Wrap them nicely for the kids to take home.
[QUOTE]

That is a good idea. I have done homemade playdough/swamp gunk, cheap bubbles (you could probably get a good deal on those right now), or helium balloons (decorate with them and then let each kid take one home). The kids were happy, the moms thanked me for no candy/cheap plastic crap, and it was less expensive.

[blizzard_babe]

Heck yeah. Making their own play dough could be a fun birthday party activity, depending on the age .

[zebra15]

Just say NO.... those to little letters work all the time.

Really 1k for a party?? Folks really need to lower thier expectations.

If and only IF they really want the bounce house I might offer to take the kids and 2 friends on a day for 'open jump' or something and call that the 'party'. So 2 friends each to open jump then out for lunch somewhere.

There is no way I would have 2 classes of kids to the jump n play.
1. just too may kids and too much $$
2. you are going to get too much junk toys(IMO)
3. over stimulation and wound up kids
4. too much to keep track of
5. what expectation are you setting for next year?

What I probably would offer is to have 1 kid per bday year (so a 6 yr old gets to invite 6 kids) over, for a party at the house. Winter b'days are fine, and if you invite 6 and 3 show thats fine too. Have a couple hr party, make a cake and call it a day.

[swd12422]

I agree with PPs who said, keep it small, simple and at home. If your kids are truly compelling you to have a bigger party somewhere, maybe look into a kids' gym. Our locally-owned one (don't know how it compares to Gymboree or other franchise) only charges $250 for a 25-kid party. You can get a sheet cake and be done for less than $300. If your kids HAVE to have separate parties and invite the whole class, that's still $600 compared to $1000.... Although I think it's still an outrageous amount of money to spend.

I definitely agree that home-grown parties with fun themes are the way to go. When I was growing up, most of us had the SAME theme every year, and honestly, it made the parties more memorable, b/c C's dad always did magic tricks (like a whole magic show, not just a few sleight of hand tricks), D's dad had a big beard and chased everyone around pretending to be the Big Bad Wolf, M's dad promised a special prize for the kid who could get the tennis ball away from the family dog (we all got yelled at by our moms for coming home dirty, but were forgiven once they saw how well we slept!), S's parties always had healthy snacks including little cups of peanuts which we would try to toss into each other's punch cups at the table.... It goes on. And none of that cost any extra money. Just the price of balloons, cake, and peanuts.

[meemee]

my bro and i had the same and we always had combined birthdays.

yeah that meant we had 80 kids between school and outside school friends... but it was less stress on our parents.

for dd her bday is a way of me giving back. since we have a tiny place adn cant have others over for playgroups i have huge bday parties. anything from 50 to 100 people. still i can budget in $200 for the party.

[HipGal]

Thanks everyone for your help so far! I agree it is way too much, which is why I am trying to figure out a good solution. What's funny is the bouncy house place is one of the less expensive options around here! (Less expensive than Chuck E Cheese, etc. - at least for a large party. Other places are like $15-$20 per child).

That is a good point that we don't need to do it during a meal time. The cost for a regular party without food is $315 for up to 25 kids. But then we still need to buy/make the cake, bring drinks, other snacks, maybe do favors, etc. Maybe I can get the kids to each invite 4 or 5 friends. But I know word will get out and I don't want the other kids in their classes to feel bad. Ds is in 1st grade and dd is in PreK. I think it is more of an issue with Ds because those kids are used to everyone getting invited (last year the class was only 12 kids, so it was much more reasonable to do that). The other issue is that a couple of the boys in his class just did some damage to another friend's house during a party, so there is that risk as well.

Ds came up with the idea to go to his cousins' house for his birthday instead of a party. Sadly the airfare would bring us back to the $1000 range for a trip like that.

Hmm... maybe if each of them invited 2 friends from school and then also invited the neighbors it wouldn't be such a sticky situation at school (not enough kids talking about it for word to get around). We might be able to make that work for a party at home, maybe rent a bouncy house (and hope it doesn't rain!).

[zinemama]

Honestly, whether word gets around or not should not factor into your decision. You have to do what's best for your family and your budget, not keep up with the Jones's.

Maybe some kids in the class expect to be invited to every party. Maybe they will feel bad. They will get over it. (And I'll bet the parents will be happy not have to buy a gift and shlep their child to yet another party for someone the kid doesn't even socialize with on a regular basis.)

[blizzard_babe]

Originally Posted by zinemama

Honestly, whether word gets around or not should not factor into your decision. You have to do what's best for your family and your budget, not keep up with the Jones's.

Maybe some kids in the class expect to be invited to every party. Maybe they will feel bad. They will get over it. (And I'll bet the parents will be happy not have to buy a gift and shlep their child to yet another party for someone the kid doesn't even socialize with on a regular basis.)

This. And you know? Some parents might welcome a break from the ridiculous expectations. YOU could be the new trend .