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Help me not spend $1000 on my kids' birthday parties! - Page 2

post #21 of 45
9/29/10 at 10:16pm
Holy Crap! You are talking about doing two parties right? So that's $500 per party? That's still a LOT.

Some thoughts...

I have a child who's birthday is 12/29. Her party is always done over Christmas break, which means a lot of families are gone, or have family in town, and can't come to a birthday party. Which means that even if I invited the whole class (she's 14 now, that doesn't happen anymore,) only like 5 or so show up. You said winter birthdays but didn't say when in winter. If you can schedule something over winter break, you are likely to end up with fewer kids (and therefore having to pay for fewer.

Can you do a combo party? How close in age are the kids? I assume pretty close if they both want the bouncy house party. My brother has 3 kids, two of which have birthdays within a week of each other, he's been doing combo birthdays since the youngest's first birthday party.

Do you have to pay for the actual bounce house party? I usually do young kid's birthdays at CEC, and will be doing that for my almost 2 year old in November. However, after having just one party where I wasted $200 on a party of only 4 kids (because of the CEC requirements on numbers of kids) I stopped doing the actual CEC party. They don't care if you bring in a cake or not, so I started just bringing a cake in and only ordering enough pizza for those who actually showed up (always less than expected, see my previous thought.) Use the coupons that CEC puts out like twice a month and it's much much cheaper.

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post #22 of 45
9/29/10 at 11:02pm
And suddenly the $100 b-day party we're having for my ds this weekend doesn't seem quite so expensive to me. Thanks!

Quote:
Originally Posted by happysmileylady View Post
However, after having just one party where I wasted $200 on a party of only 4 kids (because of the CEC requirements on numbers of kids) I stopped doing the actual CEC party. They don't care if you bring in a cake or not, so I started just bringing a cake in and only ordering enough pizza for those who actually showed up (always less than expected, see my previous thought.) Use the coupons that CEC puts out like twice a month and it's much much cheaper.
That's what we've done the past 2 years and we'll do it again this weekend for his 7th birthday. We have the party at 10am on a Saturday morning (nobody is at CEC at 10am!). I get there at about 9:30 and set up how ever many booths I think we'll need (I bring table cloths, banners, balloons, cake, etc). DP brings ds right at 10:00. Around 10:30 I order pizza. They play, eat, open gifts, play for a little while longer and we're gone by noon when the place starts getting busy. Usually by 11:30 or so dp has to take ds out to the car (he has autism and sensory issues so as much as he THINKS he wants a CEC party he gets overwhelmed very quickly once others start coming into the place). I clean everything up and usually ask the parents if their kids want to stay longer. If they are keeping their kids longer than I'll give them any extra tokens we have so they can continue to play. Total cost for decorations (we do let him pick a theme every year- this year just happened to be a theme that has been discontinued so I had to search hard to find what I needed!), cake, pizza, drinks for kids and adults and lots of tokens is around $100.

eta- as far as inviting the whole class.... we did that last year. It was okay but still too many kids for ds to really enjoy himself. This year he will be inviting two boys from school (twin brothers), 2 girls from school (one RSVP'd no b/c she'll be out of town, don't know about the other), 2 of his cousins who live in town, his teacher (how cute is that?!? He insisted on inviting her because "she's the best teacher ever mama!"), a family that are good friends of ours (mom, dad and their 7 kids... but I think they're only bringing 3 or 4 of their kids but even if they bring them all they are SUPER well behaved children), the only babysitter we ever use (again, a family friend) and her boyfriend, and dp's parents. So total we expect (including dp, ds and myself) 9ish kids and 12ish adults.
post #23 of 45
9/29/10 at 11:15pm
I have 3 kids with winter birthdays all in about a one month period. For a long time we did combined parties, then as they got older we let them invite just a few friends. Friends they played with outside of school so that we handled invites outside of school. When my youngest wanted to invite school friends I told her she then had to invite all the girls from her class (not the entire class). This was 12 girls and, of course, not all ended up coming.

We like YMCA parties. I work at the Y so I get a 50% discount, but still its reasonable even at full price. For up to 12 kids with 3 hours of playtime (Gym, multi-purpose room for party and swimming time) it was $25 for me. We did it during a non-meal time and just provided some snacks and cake. I HATE goody bags so instead we had crafts, at my DD's party they made beaded friendship bracelets. It was really cheap in comparison to other parties we've been to and I think we got a lot for our money.
post #24 of 45
9/29/10 at 11:27pm
Based on what you said, you are going to make your decision on what 'everyone else is expecting'. I can not make my decisions that way. i can not afford to make my decisions that way. And based on that your kids will be invited to 25 parties this year?? I highly doubt that.

I still say invite 1 kid per year and take what you get. Have the party at the house and the kids just need to learn to deal with it. Possibly take a fun day and go to the bounce place as a family outing or a special event.
post #25 of 45
9/30/10 at 12:34am
How about a party at your house and then take both kids and a best friend each to the bouncy place on another day?
post #26 of 45
9/30/10 at 8:54am
Wow that is way to much to spend! Even 630 (the second quote without food) is to much to spend on children's birthday parties. Specially if you know of children messing up other people's houses. What would happen if they messed up the bouncy house? Imagine how much it would cost to fix that?
I agree with others, limit to the child's actual friends and have it at home. So what if it gets out, I don't mean to be mean but you aren't required to invite the whole class to have a party. When I was growing up I had one birthday party where I was limited to 15 friends and every other year I was allowed to invite two friends out to dinner on my birthday.
post #27 of 45
9/30/10 at 9:11am
I don't know if this helps but when I was growing up we alternated years between party and dinner with one friend. So over two years it was cheaper/easier.

If you go for the larger party it sounds like your main issue is indoor space. Some ideas might be church halls, rec centres, friends' basements. Where I live there are some local stores - quilting, book and bakery - that have meeting/teaching spaces.
post #28 of 45
9/30/10 at 9:50am
You say you want to invite the entire class. Have you watched the kids interact at other parties where the entire class is involved? They don't all play together - they separate into groups of friends. The friends play together.

I invited the entire class once (10 kids) and they didn't mingle. And one kid was downright um...not behaved well. Never again. I invite friends only. It goes much better and those are the kids DS will end up playing with anyways. Why entertain that many extra kids/adults when your child doesn't care about socializing with them?

I think there are two issues here. First, you feel compelled to invite the entire class. Second, you seem to think you have to spend more than you are comfortable with. Now, if you wanted (and could) invite the whole class to a $1000 bash, hey go for it. I've certainly spent that much on a birthday party so who am I to judge - but it was what I wanted to do. But you don't want to, so why feel like you need to? This year I dialed back, did a much simpler party (which was good since it got rained out and I had to move it inside at the last minute) and DS still had a fantastic time. This year I think I spent...I dunno, maybe $250-300. He had just as much fun as the year I spent mega bucks.

And I never do goodie bags. I refuse.

Throw the party YOU want to throw. Your kids will have a great time. All they want to do is play with friends and eat cake.
post #29 of 45
9/30/10 at 10:08am
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChristyMarie View Post
You say you want to invite the entire class. Have you watched the kids interact at other parties where the entire class is involved? They don't all play together - they separate into groups of friends. The friends play together....

Throw the party YOU want to throw. Your kids will have a great time. All they want to do is play with friends and eat cake.
We had a big party at the beach this year with about 22 kids and I think it was fun. No, they didn't all play together all the time but we enjoyed it more than I thought we would. Mind you, we kept it pretty casual - advantage of a summer birthday.

That's just to say - a big party can be something you enjoy. But if it's stressing you out financially or emotionally then no I wouldn't do it just 'cause everyone else is. So I agree with the last paragraph totally.
post #30 of 45
9/30/10 at 10:46am
I ended inviting over 45 children to DS's birthday party last year, and over 100 guests including parents were present. I could not imagine not inviting both classes in his section, church friends and other friends. I don't really encourage the idea of a "best friend" (when it happens it happens) and I am not willing to hurt the feelings of another child to save money. My mantra is... If I can't afford to invite all of DS's friends, then I can't afford to have a party.

One would think from posted comments that many parents choose Jumpy place parties to keep up with the Joneses, but I don't believe that. The vast majority of the parents at my son's schools could easily spend $1000 on one birthday party (and it has been done) but most chose jump places because that is what the children want. I don't know any parent who actually wants to throw their child's party at Pump It Up. I am one of the few parents who says no. We attended at least 8 PIU parties last year and my son STILL wanted to have his party there. So far this year he has been to two and guess what, he wants to have his party there this year. My answer is still no. Last year there were 26 children in my son's section and 13 in his class.

We were invited to a birthday party for every child in his class that had a non family birthday party, and to a few of the parties for children in his section. In all we attended close to 20 birthday parties last year. Not including church and other friends. Just school friends.

DS's school will not allow invitations to be sent or distributed from school unless ALL children in the class are invited, and they are not allowed to talk about the party unless all children are invited. It is physically impossible to prevent talk, so parents know that all children in the class must receive an invitation. I love the school's policy, because it works well to prevent bruised feelings, and children often don't understand that they were not invited because the host parents could not afford to invite the entire class.

OP, Have the party that your children want at 1:30pm. Serve juice and chips and a cheap grocery store cake. I did that for birthday party #3 @ Gymboree and only spent about $325, but I spent $90 of that on a cake. I served Simply Lemnonade and Terra Chips so I spent a little more than average for refreshments. Lays chips and kool-aid lemonade would cost less than $10.

Many Jump places reduce the fee if your party is during the week. We have been to a few parties that begin at 3:30 in the afternoon.
post #31 of 45
9/30/10 at 10:49am
Quote:
Originally Posted by GuildJenn View Post

That's just to say - a big party can be something you enjoy. But if it's stressing you out financially or emotionally then no I wouldn't do it just 'cause everyone else is. So I agree with the last paragraph totally.
I agree. At big parties there is someone there for everyone. I have attended small parties where one child felt excluded for some reason or another.
post #32 of 45
9/30/10 at 1:41pm
Why don't you look into renting a moonbounce for a day or two and putting it at your home? Then you could do one party for both kids together, or one party on one day and one on the next.

Or, wait, is winter weather an issue?
post #33 of 45
9/30/10 at 2:08pm
Why have 2 parties? My older two kids have birthdays in the same month. They are turning 6 & 8 this month and have shared one party their whole life.

Also, we have invited the entire class for both of them each year and have never had more than 4 kids from each class show up.
post #34 of 45
9/30/10 at 3:19pm
We always do a combo party - kids are boy/girl and 3 years apart but many friends are sibs and no one ever questions it. Sep cakes and decorations. One drop off for many of the parents.

I don't invite all the kids in the class, nor do we attend a child's party just because he's in their class and was invited. I always give ds the choice and he doesn't want to go unless he's friends. It's a strange tradition IMO. Perhaps it's because we have so many neighborhood friends and cousins that we'd be looking at 35 kids and who wants to host that many? Frankly my son had 12 friends at his party this year and I was having heart palpatations thinking about that many gifts coming into our simple home.

We did mini golf this year. $6 per kid in a land of fancy parties. Everyone loved it.
post #35 of 45
9/30/10 at 3:52pm
Quote:
I ended inviting over 45 children to DS's birthday party last year, and over 100 guests including parents were present. I could not imagine not inviting both classes in his section, church friends and other friends. I don't really encourage the idea of a "best friend" (when it happens it happens) and I am not willing to hurt the feelings of another child to save money. My mantra is... If I can't afford to invite all of DS's friends, then I can't afford to have a party.
Is your DS really friends with over 45 kids?! That seems...unlikely, to me. A party with 45 kids, especially for a 1st grader or pre-schooler (like the OP has) would spell "instant meltdown' with any of my kids at those ages.
post #36 of 45
9/30/10 at 4:24pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Knittin' in the Shade View Post
Is your DS really friends with over 45 kids?! That seems...unlikely, to me. A party with 45 kids, especially for a 1st grader or pre-schooler (like the OP has) would spell "instant meltdown' with any of my kids at those ages.
Yes, Actually DS is friends with all the children, or at least he says that they are his friends. Why does that seem unlikely?

As for church friends and other friends, these are children with who he interacts often. Or as often as possible due to schedule conflicts.

There were maybe 6 invited children who did not attend, and DS noticed their absence and asked me during his party if they were coming.

My son turned 4 and all of the invited children were between the ages of 1 to 7. Actually there was 1 meltdown, by a boy who cries at every party when it is time to sing Happy Birthday because he wants it to be his birthday. Normally his mom leaves before the song, but his sister was having a great time.

I also hosted this pool party at a popular city attraction that normally holds that many people when open to the public, so I don't see why a party with that many children would have cause a meltdown.
post #37 of 45
9/30/10 at 4:39pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by AndrewsMother View Post
My mantra is... If I can't afford to invite all of DS's friends, then I can't afford to have a party.
So poor people (or people on strict budgets) should have parties? That just seems sad. I'd rather a small party than none at all.
post #38 of 45
9/30/10 at 5:01pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by blizzard_babe View Post
So poor people (or people on strict budgets) should have parties? That just seems sad. I'd rather a small party than none at all.
No, that is what I live by. I would only have a small party/dinner for family rather than pick and choose what 3/4/5 year olds I will invite to a party. The uninvited friend has no idea of the hosts limited budget or financial constraints. They only know that they were not invited. I feel so strongly about not slighting another child, that I would not want to leave anything out.

I see nothing sad about my decision.

What others do is their own business.
post #39 of 45
9/30/10 at 5:48pm
My DD turns 5 next month. Hubs is taking the morning off work, we'll have breakfast out, play at the park with a couple friends, and have a grease-out lunch at McDonalds. Later in the weekend, we'll have cake and presents with just the family.

Growing up as one of six kids, all birthday parties were family gatherings. Somehow, we all survived and grew up to be basically normal.
post #40 of 45
9/30/10 at 7:03pm
You could always do a small party in the winter, and then a 1/2 year party in the spring/summer when you can rent a bouncy for $100 or so and do a bbq outside.
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